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A new stage in my life...................

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Grannie G, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Before it was about Us . Now it will be about Me. Is that why some people find it so difficult to post here.
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    It must be so hard Sylvia. x

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point mobile app
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    I think so Sylvia. I think that it can seem to be almost traitorous to post somewhere which explicitly acknowledges that you have lost a person you love.
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    No, I don’t feel a traitor, I feel odd.
  5. Pigeon11

    Pigeon11 Registered User

    Jul 19, 2012
    I'm sure you do Sylvia. I hate to sound trite, but it will get better.

    It must have been so hard for you to take the first step and post here but don't forget all your TP friends are still here to support you.

  6. winda

    winda Registered User

    Oct 17, 2011
    I understand how you feel Sylvia.
  7. dizzywizzy

    dizzywizzy Registered User

    Mar 23, 2012
    It must be odd as I feel it and I never posted as much as you did. I guess part of me is still holding onto something to do with my Dad, as I read the posts on here most days and they were very comforting (and still are)and helped me cope with the last few years of my Dads illness.
  8. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    It must feel different, I have always valued your wise words and experience and still do,

    Love Jeany xx
  9. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    #9 2jays, Jan 24, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2014
    I don't mean to sound flippant, but for me, I guess it would feel a bit like being a "newbie" again

    As it is, I feel like "an old hand" on some of the other forums, and to specifically start a thread on this forum would mean things had drastically changed for me and I guess it would feel like I'm starting all over again, but about me not my mum, with the uncertainty I had when I first joined TP of what the future holds.

    When ever I read posts on this forum, I often think "I will be posting on here one day, but not not for ages I hope" and then one day, that will feel too soon no doubt, I shall be posting here.

    I know, when it happens, that I too will feel odd starting a thread here.

  10. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    Near Southampton
    To be honest, I don't notice where threads are posted as I always go straight to Recent Posts so hadn't noticed where you'd posted, Sylvia, until I actually read your post. However, I can understand how difficult it must be to begin a new thread in this particular section. It is a new beginning but also, so sadly, an ending of your old thread which has taken you - and us - through so very much over the years.

    I look forward to following your new thread as your comments, advice and guidance have helped so much. I do hope that doesn't sound insensitive, and hope that you know that I don't mean it to be so. I really would have been happier to continue with your 'us' thread as I know would you but sadly, you have taken this brave step into the future and I hope I can tag along behind you. love XXX
  11. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    North East England
    This has never happened to me Sylvia so I don't know ... but just wanted to say that you mean a lot to everyone on TP and we are here to support you through the next stage.

    Much love xxx
  12. Soobee

    Soobee Volunteer Host

    Aug 22, 2009
    We are here with you for this stage too x
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    We sat with Dhiren all night in death. It was all right. We were with him. He was still with us.

    When I was told his brain had been taken for research, it didn`t upset me. For the first time in my life I understood it was just his body which had been cut. By then, his true being had left .

    The assistant to the funeral director said they would let us know when he was ready to be visited.

    I didn`t want to see him in a coffin. My last memories of him in his bed were good.

    The funeral Director phoned a couple of days later to let me know he was ready to be seen. I refused. I didn`t want to go.

    And then something caused me to change my mind. It was about regret. If I didn`t go to see him, I wouldn`t have another chance and knew I would regret it .

    I feel I should see Dhiren through every stage of the way . I told Paul and the family last night and Paul said it felt right.

    The person who will conduct the funeral is coming today. I will go to sit with Dhiren after he has gone.
  14. Nanak

    Nanak Registered User

    Mar 25, 2010
    Brisbane Australia
    After Mum passed I felt, all of a sudden, that I had nothing to offer. Mum was gone, and to be honest, I couldn't remember a lot. When was this stage? What happened at that stage? How long did this stage last? When she did this, that, or the other, how did everyone cope? When others posted I could relate to their problems but didn't know how to reply. It has passed to a certain extent, but I don't post as much as I used to.
    It is a very odd feeling......

  15. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    West Midlands
    I hope you manage to see Dhiren and it's not too traumatic for you, just the final gentle good bye.

    I hesitate, but feel I must ask if you have contacted the funeral director, to let them know you wish to visit Dhiren.

    I assumed we could just go and visit when we wanted to, but we had to make a special appointment. We had to wait a day before we were able to visit

  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    They know I`m coming 2Jays. Thank you. :)
  17. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    You must do what you want and what you think right, I will be thinking of you xxx
  18. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    much support Sylvia
  19. Pookie

    Pookie Registered User

    Dec 29, 2011
    We're with you in love and admiration .

    Peter&Jean Ugly
  20. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    You lived with very difficult circumstances NanaK. Whatever you can`t respond to in practicalities I`m sure you can empathise with feelings.

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