A new stage in my life...................

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Grannie G

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We are going to visit a Care Home with the idea of respite, but also in case emergency care is needed

This is so good Alice. If you were unfortunate enough to need emergency care at least your mind would be less troubled.
 

Grannie G

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I had a phone call from Kings College this afternoon.

It was in connection with monitoring the ageing process of healthy brains and eventual brain donation on death. I have been part of this study since 2008 or 2009.

Both my husband and I started this study together. His was the brain affected by dementia and mine is as I said above.

Dhiren had the tests until his first year in residential care, when they stopped testing. I`ve continued to be tested regularly and the next test is on Tuesday.

All part of research.
 

AliceA

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It sounds hopeful research. Looking around it seems so random at the moment. Clever, thoughtful fit people can succumb.
A lovely volunteer driver took us to Care Home to visit as it possibly would be the answer to respite. It could be the answer to long term if there is only one to consider. With two sets of needs there may be problems as it is out of county, so our funds would be stretched too far.
It has given peace of mind, as you said Sylvia, as my husband liked the place, the staff were happy with each other and attentive to the residents. The driver turned out to be familiar with care home settings from a previous job and he noticed the ethos. He said the place ticked all the boxes.
Our daughter has taken on fully that if I am unavailable she would be unable to take over and that this place is a possibility.
I may have to shift some medical appointments so a respite break can be arranged, we have so many between us. My husband said he would like it to be a holiday for both of us, unfortunately the SC studio will not be available but I was offered a quiet back room in the house. Not really sure but it would give me a fly on the wall experience!
So now I can face my next medical procedure with the knowledge there is a support plan in place in a dire emergency.
 

Grannie G

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Good news on all fronts Alice. To have something in place for respite, even provision for you to be a fly on the wall, the approval of your driver and your husband, and the support from your daughter in an emergency . All good.

I hope it doesn`t happen that you will need these contingencies but it must be reassuring to know they are in place.

It sounds hopeful research. Looking around it seems so random at the moment

It`s good to know everyone is trying all over the world. My granddaughter is doing Neuroscience at Manchester University and her study this year has been Dementia and Diabetes .
 

AliceA

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Yes, however tough situations get I am always overwhelmed by people's kindness, also the people that come into ones life when needed.
I wish your granddaughter great success in her work.
I have read a few books lately about neuroscientists exploration of consciousness and how they have had to rethink.
I am in the process of deciding to re arrange a medical appointment so as to fit in a respite. My husband is calling it a holiday that we can do together. So this once I think I may go along with it then he will be happier to go on his own. It has a beautiful well kept garden and because of the ethos even honours Quaker silence before lunch.
I have spent today ringing up the places in the county but they are no cheaper, so I hope there maybe a direct payment to help.
 

Grannie G

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I have a lovely day ahead for which I`m grateful.

First I will be meditating at the Quaker House with the Buddhist Group, then I`ll take myself out for lunch and finally enjoy the Dickens Festival at the seaside.

I have no problem lunching out when alone but still have not been able to dine out alone.

It`s an absolutely gorgeous day.

I`ve just realised this Thread has a misnomer for a title now it is five and a half years old. I wonder if I should start a new Thread called `Carry on living`:)
 

Izzy

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Your day sounds lovely Sylvia. The Dickens festival sounds like something I would love! I have no problems eating out alone either. I don't often have dinner out alone but like you I've lunched out alone.

Your idea of a thread title sounds really appropriate. It's what I'm trying to do. I'll be interested to see if you start anew thread. I find I don't often post on my Some Days Are Diamonds thread now. Mind you it remains true fir me that some days are diamonds and some days are stone.
 

Grannie G

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Thanks Izzy. I`m not sure whether to start a new Thread or simply reply to others and join in the weekly Chat Thread more often. For now I`ll do nothing.

I had a lovely time out. I didn`t have lunch because everywhere was packed but did manage to find a table to have an ice cream sundae.

I walked down with the parade from the Town Hall and include some photos. You will see Queen Victoria in her splendid carriage pulled by two plumed horses. You will see the activity on the green and the Hurdy Gurdy Man.
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AliceA

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Sounded a super day. Sundae looked good too. You, Izzy and others are doing so well. This is applauding not decrying the effort it it must take. The pictures are lovely. My imagination take me there. X
 

sunray

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Sylvia, I have no trouble having lunch out alone but do feel different about dining out alone. I have couple of widowed women friends who don't seem to have that problem but their careers included travelling, mine didn't. I do have dinner out as part of a couple of groups though so I do go out at night occasionally. If anything I am less brave than I was when I first became a widow but that is because I had many night trips to help the nursing home staff bring Ray out of the seizures. Once he was gone the night driving no longer was a priority.
 

Izzy

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I’m trying to decide whether I should be brave and book a night away on the 3rd anniversary of Bill’s death. A hotel in Pitlochry does a theatre package and has single rooms. I’ve chickened out slightly and asked a friend if she wants to come. She’ll let me know this pm. I think I’ll go either way. She’s the only one I’d want to share it with so if she can’t go I think I will go solo.
 

Grannie G

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Apr 3, 2006
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I hope whatever happens will be right for you Izzy.

If you have someone close enough to share this anniversary with, good.

If you can do it alone and away from home, very brave.

I doubt any decision will make it less sorrowful whatever the distractions but you know what`s best for you and you haven`t done badly so far.
 

Izzy

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Thank you Sylvia. I wish she’d let me know if she can come! I’ve decided I’ll go on my own if she can’t.
 

AliceA

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May 27, 2016
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Thank you Alice. When are you going away?

Just picked this up, thank you, we go off on Tuesday at 9.30. We have a volunteer driver, the one who took us for the assessment.
I have really struggled this week, I felt overwhelmed by all the arrangements, on Friday I needed to chase the prescriptions, I could not get through to the chemist. A final straw! I burst into tears. My husband was at the morning respite, thank goodness!
I had forgotten how complex going away from home is. So much to think about.
My husband is wanting to go but as the anxiety level rises and the cooperation lowers. It has been difficult.
I am sure it will be good when we get there, I have warned I may just want to sleep! Our daughter called today and labelled a pile of possible clothes fo me. So I now have to choose and prune.
My decision making skill are wearing a bit thin, unlike me my clothes feel tight!
I have said I like light vegetarian meals, the place as it is Quaker managed should be used to vegetarians. I think it will help to have had this experience when I may have to accept the inevitable decision about care.
Adult services have not come up with the promised support, I will chase when I get back.
I am planning a week for my husband nearer to home so I can stay here and catch up quietly. Probably will raid savings again. This break had to be two weeks but I have found a place that will do one. That is while there is a spare room.

Thank you for your interest and concern. I cannot be long before your trip away. Xxx
 
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