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A new stage in my life...................

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Grannie G, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,336
    leicester
    Well done @Grannie G and I’m so pleased you enjoyed the day..
    I wish I had your confidence!
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,142
    Kent
    You go to the caravan on your own Helen. You open it up and close it down and stay by yourself too. It`s a different kind of confidence.
     
  3. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,336
    leicester
    Maybe not I hoped a friend I have made would be here next week, not to be so.
    Now I have to decide wether to stay or go home, my brother and SIL are here but they don’t really acknowledge me.
    If I hadn’t got Pip I wouldn’t bother it doesn’t say much for my family that the only person who knows I’m ok is a TP friend.
    Sorry that is a dismal post.
     
  4. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,265
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh @nellbelles I’m sorry your friend won’t be there. I hope you stay but of course you need to do what is right for you. Thinking of you and Pip. x
     
  5. nellbelles

    nellbelles Volunteer Host

    Nov 6, 2008
    8,336
    leicester
    @Izzy thanks Larivy is a great support
    Sorry @Grannie G for hogging your thread
     
  6. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,417
    Female
    England
    Well done to your Granddaughter Sylvia and hope that the good news will lift her spirits a little bit.

    Wonderful that you enjoyed your trip to Brighton. We did go into the Pavilion last week, it was my first time and very impressive it is, especially afternoon tea there on the balcony it was not too busy when we went though there were three school trips being guided round, all foreign and they looked so bored, it was obviously not of any interest to them.

    I haven’t been brave enough to go anywhere on my own though I have driven to Bakewell a couple of times to have a wander around but that’s not the same so well done you for managing it.
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,142
    Kent
    You know I don`t worry about others coming to this Thread with their own topics Helen. It`s a pity we don`t live nearer we could take some day trips together.
    I know all about unsupportive families. Chosen friends are often so much better.

    Thanks @jaymor. Even though I didn`t make afternoon tea at the Pavillion I managed a beautiful cream tea elsewhere. :)

    IMG_1426.jpg
     
  8. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    The trouble is that friends - even the ones that stick with you throughout the dementia years and they can be few - have their own lives. I have found so much more support from the friends I have made here. They have walked a similar path and understand without anything being expressed. It’s why I love our Launde Abbey retreats - because that’s what they really are, a special time away from our lives as we now live them. xx
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,142
    Kent
    When`s your next one @Saffie?
     
  10. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,265
    Female
    Dundee
    It's 14th to 18th July Sylvia.
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,142
    Kent
    Thanks @Izzy. I know you will all enjoy it.
     
  12. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,255
    It is very much the same! Challenges are different but effort can be knee wobbling the same! Praise yourself.
     
  13. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,255
    Sometimes we all feel the same, I do have a supportive family but they are busy supporting others! I do not think they see my needs, the memory of what I was able to do seems to blind them. It is as if they are in denial as it affects how they see theirselves. It is as if they may become next in line.
     
  14. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Thanks Izzy - yes, later this year Sylvia as we wanted the extra day and they are quite busy in June.
    I suppose there Is no chance you have had a change of heart is there? x
     
  15. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,380
    Kent
    That sounds a lovely trip to Brighton topped off with a scrummy looking cream tea, hopefully it will give you confidence for more trips. I am fortunate to still have my OH but @Saffie the Launde Abbey retreat sounds lovely if I was on my own. We are coming up to Bakewell for a couple of nights in the Autumn @jaymor I came to Castleton on a geography trip 50 years ago and it has taken this long to organise another trip to the beautiful Peak District. I still hover around the TP area as it is interesting to read about other lovely members and 'virtually' knowing you all
     
  16. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,142
    Kent
    I`m thinking about it @Saffie

    Can you send me the details?
     
  17. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Of course I will. I’ll pm you.
     
  18. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,142
    Kent
    Thanks Saffie.
     
  19. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,142
    Kent
    Five years ago, at Tai Chi, I met someone whose husband had died a month before Dhiren. We became friends. We attend Tai Chi and meditation groups together and I go to some talks at her church. We shared a very pleasant holiday in Ireland last year.

    She used to be a hospital chaplain and now visits ex church members who are in residential care and takes communion with them. She is head server in her church.

    She is 85 smokes, drinks, eats what she wants even though she is diabetic and has COPD.

    She is a character. She speaks out and when people laugh she thinks she is bringing humour to the party. It used to be funny but doesn`t seem funny any more. I can tell by the shocked faces even though they still laugh.

    I`m becoming concerned about her mental health.

    She has always been outspoken but now it is bordering on being offensive and even though she is very sensitive to comments made towards her, she has no idea how outrageous are some of the comments she makes.

    Her attitude `I don`t have much longer to express my opinions so I must while I can` can cause hurt and she feels she has the right to say what she thinks. She is fighting not to become `invisible` because people in her church are offering to help her in her church duties and she feels she is being sidelined.

    What do I do?

    Do I mind my own business and let her be or do I mention it to her vicar or someone in the church. She has no family other than a 91 year old brother who lives miles away.
     
  20. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,591
    West Midlands
    Sounds to me like she is perhaps struggling in some way, feeling vulnerable maybe, so it seems to me that she is, of a kind, asserting herself in the only way she knows, perhaps subconsciously looking for the help that she may be fighting against As she doesn’t want to be or be seen as vulnerable - if that makes sense

    I think maybe I would discuss with them vicar
     
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