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A new stage in my life...................

Discussion in 'After dementia — dealing with loss' started by Grannie G, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,138
    Just picked this up, thank you, we go off on Tuesday at 9.30. We have a volunteer driver, the one who took us for the assessment.
    I have really struggled this week, I felt overwhelmed by all the arrangements, on Friday I needed to chase the prescriptions, I could not get through to the chemist. A final straw! I burst into tears. My husband was at the morning respite, thank goodness!
    I had forgotten how complex going away from home is. So much to think about.
    My husband is wanting to go but as the anxiety level rises and the cooperation lowers. It has been difficult.
    I am sure it will be good when we get there, I have warned I may just want to sleep! Our daughter called today and labelled a pile of possible clothes fo me. So I now have to choose and prune.
    My decision making skill are wearing a bit thin, unlike me my clothes feel tight!
    I have said I like light vegetarian meals, the place as it is Quaker managed should be used to vegetarians. I think it will help to have had this experience when I may have to accept the inevitable decision about care.
    Adult services have not come up with the promised support, I will chase when I get back.
    I am planning a week for my husband nearer to home so I can stay here and catch up quietly. Probably will raid savings again. This break had to be two weeks but I have found a place that will do one. That is while there is a spare room.

    Thank you for your interest and concern. I cannot be long before your trip away. Xxx
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,940
    Female
    Dundee
    @AliceA - I’m sorry - I forgotten where you’re going! :oops:
     
  3. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,906
    Kent
    The preparation for a holiday does sometimes seem more trouble than it`s worth Alice but I do hope you will make it.

    I`m sure being away and having less responsibility for solo caring will give you a chance to collect your thoughts.

    Being so below par yourself is making it harder than it should be I know.

    I`m keeping everything crossed it will all be worthwhile.
     
  4. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,138
    Izzy, I am putting my self in a carehome:) it reminds me of the Arthur Ransome book, We did not mean to go to Sea.
    I was looking for a place for first respite, somewhere where my husband would accept. I was offered a self catering studio at the bottom of the garden. Quite out the way.
    Unfortunately this was taken on a permanent basis but I was offered a room in the back.
    My husband brightened at the thought and says would be a holiday together, it is a lovely place. I found myself accepting. What I started to plan has grown like Topsy.
    Being in the actual house has meant meant far more preparation than being with the fairies at the bottom of the garden! It turned out as well the policy is for two week stays
    Who knows, but it will be an experience, it is small with a wide range of residents. So I raided the bank!!! Next time time? Prison? Three meals, some one keeping an eye on us, no bills. Wardrobe supplied, any takers? o_O Enjoy your time at the Abby xxx
     
  5. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,138
    Thank you for your kindness. Yes, I will make it. Some times one reaches the stage of being on a conveyer belt, things happen of their own accord!
    You are right, I sleep in an adjoining room, I have been listening to sounds of moving about, wondering whether this is an early start or not. Wondering whether intervention is needed of whether to play sleeping lions. I am on here while I wait. I think it is getting quiet, so I will settle. I will benefit I am sure. I have loaded my kindle, so hope to read uninterrupted.
     
  6. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,940
    Female
    Dundee
    Wow @AliceA - that sounds like a good idea. I hope all goes well with your preparations.
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,906
    Kent
    I`ll be thinking of you tomorrow Alice and wishing and hoping all will be well. I look forward to your return to hear all your news.
     
  8. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,906
    Kent
    It is Dhiren`s birthday today and five and a half years since he died.

    For the first time, I haven`t felt the need to light a candle for him. A candle is no longer necessary to acknowledge memory of him. The memory is constant.

    Our son sent a memorial message this morning which caused a tear. His memory is constant too.

    I realise my life has reached a plateau. It is unlikely much will change from now on. There are good days and not so good days and I can live with what I`ve been given.

    I thank everyone who has contributed to this thread. You have been a source of great comfort and support.

    I don`t think I need such a personal thread any longer and am considering closing it and concentrating my energy on the rest of the forum.
     
  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,940
    Female
    Dundee
    Thinking of you today Sylvia.
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,906
    Kent
    Thank you Izzy.
     
  11. 2jays

    2jays Registered User

    Jun 4, 2010
    11,532
    West Midlands
    Thinking of you today

    Do you need to close the thread? Can’t find the words to explain why I ask this question. I think it’s because I’m not ready (maybe that’s the word) to close my thread
     
  12. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,906
    Kent
    Thanks 2jays.

    There is plenty of room on the forum for me to join in discussion and offer support. I`m no longer experiencing a new stage in my life. It now is as it is.

    If I have need to start another Thread all about me, I will do but for now it seems unlikely.

    If you're not ready to close your thread it`s fine. It can stay as long as you need it.
     
  13. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,302
    Female
    England
    My thoughts are with you today Sylvia. Sad though it is I can understand your thoughts on your current thread. I think we can reach a certain point when we know this is the natural end.
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    68,906
    Kent
    Thank you Jay. Decision made. :)
     
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