This is the convo I had with my brother last night so you can judge.
. He’d not replied to first request and then I sent a second one giving him until the 27 nov. Within an hour I received an email . He was explaining the conversations he’d had with the a representative from mum‘s surgery about whether she could refuse care, suggesting a Walker for mum, saying a sw was coming to mum’s home in a few weeks and could we be there and then we have a chat with mum afterwards about the way forward, if any. He didn’t see a way out of the poa issue because mum doesn’t want me involved. He said he‘d taken over mum;s money in october 2016 just to help her out…it was actually earlier thsn that as I’d agreed because I was tied up children and work.
The LPA was set up in 2016.
He didnt know about the capacity issue but he said there’s nothing in writing anywhere so unless there’s proof then it’s only a safeguarding thing which wasn’t urgent. In effect he was playing things down really.
He must have got my second email and that’s when he called. He talked non stop for about 10 minutes sounding really upset. He said that he is sick to death of being in the middle of mum and me and he’d by quite happy not to do it any more. He said he thought we’d sorted it last year - which is when I backed off and fell out of picture as I was moving. He said he’s fed up with it. The problem is mum doesn‘t want me involved because I’m too free with money, that mum and dad are from a different era and saved their money whereas I’m from a different generation. She wants him to it as before.
I said Mum wanted me to lpa so what’s the problem? He said ‘well, I’m not sure about that, ummm the Solicitor said there should be two and Mum reluctantly agreed it should be you’ - thsnks a bunch bruv.
He went on to say that mum was extremely cross and upset over this and that I should ring her and hear her side of it. He said that it a difficult situation and that ‘he didn’t know where to go’ but wanted to do the right thing. It was a bit of whinge.
He said that the only way out was to remove me and install a solicitor because mum has made her mind and this will happen if I continue to go for my right. He said that he was in charge of £400,000 a big responsibility and didnt want to be stuck in the middle any more. I let him drone on for a while.
I said that capacity issue kicks in the LPA and overrides mum now. He said he;s not so sure and that he’s not prepared to go against mum’s wishes. I said we need to work together and what would happen if he died i would not know about the accounts and he didn’t answer that one.
i explained that I wanted to get things for mum and he said didn’t know that but that he’d pay for it and I said that‘s a problem too and not the way forwardbut I did need to see the accounts and he said it’s not what mum wants. In the end we came to halt an agreed to wait until sw comes. I couldn’t talk any more as I had a class.
I did call Mum but she’d no idea what was talking about and called brother back and told him and he seemed a bit surprised,
He said that mum likes things the way they are, she doesn’t want people traipsing through her home and basically wants to be left alone.
Then I get an email saying that we’d agreed to wait for sw visit and find a way forward afterwards with mum
The upshot he’s not going to give me the details unless mum agrees.
I didn’t want to go OPG without being sure.