Approximately two months ago, my husband and I moved across the country and brought my 92-year-old mother to live with us. I believe she is in the middle stages of dementia. We have an appointment with the doctor in September and I want him to give me a diagnosis as to what we are dealing with.
She gets angry, tearful, can't follow recipes, can't write well, memory is beyond horrible and blames all her symptoms on everyone else. She's probably scared. I would be too. We took her out of assisted-living to move to another part of the country and provide what I think is much better care to her. While she was there in the assisted living facility, she said she hated it. As soon as she moved in with us, she now says it wasn't so bad. She misses her friends there. I am actively working to set up a social network of seniors.
She is not so advanced in dementia that she cannot do things on her own; however, she follows me around constantly to chat. She does nothing to entertain herself and if I suggest anything, she says ok but is not enthused.. She is very passive and never initiates activities that do not include me. Often she just sits in her sitting room with her hands folded. I bring up all the things she could do and she just looks at me and says, she could....
Mind you, I have not lived with my mother since I was 18 years old and I am 67 now. She and I were never particularly close, but my only sibling died in January so I am responsible for her. I have tried to give her so many options for entertainment and it doesn't seem to work.
She wants to spend all her time with me and I'm a very independent person anyway. How do I cope with someone like that? Does anyone else have a situation that is similar and how do you work with that? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I cannot be her sole entertainment. I love her but the all-day let's be best friends is exhausting. We spend quite a bit of time together anyway as I am retired.
Is a symptom of dementia also include nothing is her fault; ie the eggs were too small and that's why the recipe didn't work, or her new phone doesn't work instead of her just not writing the phone number down correctly, etc.
Thanks for hearing me out. Any advice is appreciated!
By the way, I do not live in the UK, but I have found that there are kind people here so please don't hold it against me. 🙂
She gets angry, tearful, can't follow recipes, can't write well, memory is beyond horrible and blames all her symptoms on everyone else. She's probably scared. I would be too. We took her out of assisted-living to move to another part of the country and provide what I think is much better care to her. While she was there in the assisted living facility, she said she hated it. As soon as she moved in with us, she now says it wasn't so bad. She misses her friends there. I am actively working to set up a social network of seniors.
She is not so advanced in dementia that she cannot do things on her own; however, she follows me around constantly to chat. She does nothing to entertain herself and if I suggest anything, she says ok but is not enthused.. She is very passive and never initiates activities that do not include me. Often she just sits in her sitting room with her hands folded. I bring up all the things she could do and she just looks at me and says, she could....
Mind you, I have not lived with my mother since I was 18 years old and I am 67 now. She and I were never particularly close, but my only sibling died in January so I am responsible for her. I have tried to give her so many options for entertainment and it doesn't seem to work.
She wants to spend all her time with me and I'm a very independent person anyway. How do I cope with someone like that? Does anyone else have a situation that is similar and how do you work with that? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I cannot be her sole entertainment. I love her but the all-day let's be best friends is exhausting. We spend quite a bit of time together anyway as I am retired.
Is a symptom of dementia also include nothing is her fault; ie the eggs were too small and that's why the recipe didn't work, or her new phone doesn't work instead of her just not writing the phone number down correctly, etc.
Thanks for hearing me out. Any advice is appreciated!
By the way, I do not live in the UK, but I have found that there are kind people here so please don't hold it against me. 🙂