What should I do

[Sally6115]

My dad has had dementia since 2022 and he’s now in the latest stages and doesn’t sleep very well but he does eat very well but no interest at all in anything
And Mum has a short term. Memory problem and is having an assessment this week she has this thing where she believes she has another house, but it has the same address as this house that we live in at the moment
So now every day she wants to go home she says she has other things to do in her other house.
And that I will be all right staying here. But she is thinking about her first home she had in 1950s.
How do I convince her that she lives here in this house and that she has had given up the other home years ago
I’m having to resort to a few white lies to keep her here and of course dad isnt any help
What should I do??

 

[BELLA BEE]

Oh dear sally I really do feel for you caring for one person with dementia is hard enough I know been doing it for last 5 years with my husband but caring for two is just unthinkable all I can suggest is keep doing what you are doing with your mum is telling a few white lies keeps her content were is the harm in that.Really do hope her assessment gives you some answers long term wishing you all the best and take care of yourself x

 

[Chizz]

My dad has had dementia since 2022 and he’s now in the latest stages and doesn’t sleep very well but he does eat very well but no interest at all in anything
And Mum has a short term. Memory problem and is having an assessment this week she has this thing where she believes she has another house, but it has the same address as this house that we live in at the moment
So now every day she wants to go home she says she has other things to do in her other house.
And that I will be all right staying here. But she is thinking about her first home she had in 1950s.
How do I convince her that she lives here in this house and that she has had given up the other home years ago
I’m having to resort to a few white lies to keep her here and of course dad isnt any help
What should I do??

Hi @Sally6115
As I'm sure you know, a PWD does not have or use reason or logic in the sense that you might. Thus, you can't argue with them or convince them through logic that something else is right, compared with what they are currently believing. However, your mum thinking she has two homes is a present phase that will pass as the home/house you're all in becomes more familiar to her. You just have to answer as best you can, or distract her by asking what tasks does she want to do in the other house.
Similarly to @BELLA BEE you have my best wishes in coping with both your parents.