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Upset about carehome decision

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
Well can still fight it I’m get solicitor that’ll reassure you sort it for you . restrictions on them to protect the donor you can get copy’s I did from office public guardian do it on line got mine same day as requested
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
Well can still fight it I’m get solicitor that’ll reassure you sort it for you . restrictions on them to protect the donor you can get copy’s I did from office public guardian do it on line got mine same day as requested
They don’t inform them who has it either in law don’t count much restrictions on
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
I was exactly like you I’m ok know as I know were it stands . Theees loads dementia social care pages on line look on court of protection page and social care institute got I at the end can’t remeber the last bit it’s all on there read everything it’ll readier you .im only a friend I can do it you’re her carer if my case is strong so will you’re a be loDs information on this helpful reassured me before lawyer was involved
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
I was exactly like you I’m ok know as I know were it stands . Theees loads dementia social care pages on line look on court of protection page and social care institute got I at the end can’t remeber the last bit it’s all on there read everything it’ll readier you .im only a friend I can do it you’re her carer if my case is strong so will you’re a be loDs information on this helpful reassured me before lawyer was involved
Social care institute of excellence it’s called
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,605
Essex
Dear @DILhelp,

You will because it takes a lot of strength caring for someone with dementia and dealing with invisibles. You have to remember that invisibles haven't got the strength that we have and because they're envious of us they have to take it out in other ways.

Also I hope @SkyBlueC is okay.

MaNaAk
 

Jan L

Registered User
Mar 26, 2020
45
Are you in England? If so, then if your husband has less than £25,000 in savings (or £50,000 in a joint account) then the LA will pay towards any care that Social Services agree that he needs. All the while you are living in your house it will not be counted in the financial assessment (assuming that you own it). Please contact Social Services for a needs assessment to find out what can be offered - usually carers coming in to wash/shower and dress him, help with meals, incontinence, changing the bed etc. You dont have to struggle on alone.
@canary Yes I am in England, we do own our house and wouldn't qualify for financial help towards his care. If I contact Social Services for an assessment, not sure what that entails or what they are assessing, am I obliged to accept what they suggest or would it be better to get help from the private agencies. I just don't know how these things work and can't get at to find out. To me it will signify the beginning of the end and I don't like the thought of having strangers in the house especially with Covid-19 about but it is getting more difficult by the week, whether it is him or my growing inability to cope alone, probably a bit of both. You have been very kind and I thank you, it means a lot to me.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,434
South coast
Hi @Jan L , This link should take you to the Alz Soc section about what an assessment entails and about how its decided who pays. As I said, though, your house will not be counted (it is a mandatory disregard) all the while you are living in it and its only your husbands finances that are counted - bank accounts in his sole name, or 50% of joint ones. If his share of the savings comes to more than £25,000, then you will be self-funding. Under this and the Local Authority will start to pay towards it.

Having carers in can be a godsend. I reached carers breakdown just before Christmas and OH had to go into respite. I was told (in pretty much no uncertain terms) that I had to have carers and it has been a revelation. They may be strangers to start with, but they have quickly become more like compassionate and capable friends. OH likes them and responds to them - probably better than he does to me! They have come all through the pandemic and have arrived in PPE - face shields, plastic aprons and gloves and have all been scrupulous about cleaning. I do not worry about them bringing in covid - I think Im much more likely to pick it up in a supermarket, where people often do not wear masks (or not properly) and dont keep at the proper distance. Having carers has made such a difference to my life, it makes things so much easier to cope with. I know that Im going to have help with the practicalities and nothing fazes them. Yesterday OH got poo all over his hands and in the bed, but the carer cleaned him up, stripped the bed, put the soiled bedding in the washing machine and re=made the bed. I can also ask about things that are concerning me - have they seen this too? Is it something I should worry about?

I would honestly give them a go.
 

DILhelp

Registered User
Jan 31, 2016
118
London
Dear @DILhelp,

You will because it takes a lot of strength caring for someone with dementia and dealing with invisibles. You have to remember that invisibles haven't got the strength that we have and because they're envious of us they have to take it out in other ways.

Also I hope @SkyBlueC is okay.

MaNaAk
Thanku god bless us all xx
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,605
Essex
@canary Yes I am in England, we do own our house and wouldn't qualify for financial help towards his care. If I contact Social Services for an assessment, not sure what that entails or what they are assessing, am I obliged to accept what they suggest or would it be better to get help from the private agencies. I just don't know how these things work and can't get at to find out. To me it will signify the beginning of the end and I don't like the thought of having strangers in the house especially with Covid-19 about but it is getting more difficult by the week, whether it is him or my growing inability to cope alone, probably a bit of both. You have been very kind and I thank you, it means a lot to me.
You could also be entitled to quite a few benefits for example council tax reduction, pension credits etc. However don't make the mistake I made with regards to Attendance Allowance! I filled in the form and when dad received the lower rate I thought this was what we were entitled to. I even mentioned wandering out of the house at night! Anyway I should have been even clearer and insisted on the higher rate as I was being woken up in the middle of the night and getting dad back to bed. I didn't find out about all this until I checked on dad's benefits when he went into the home and I found that he was still entitled to the benefits in the home!

Good luck

MaNaAk