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Upset about carehome decision

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,418
South coast
Oh Kay.........
So your brother wants her to go into a care home (it would actually have to be a nursing home with CHC), but doesnt want to pay for it?

I still dont understand why your brother wants her to move
I feel like I am missing a very large piece of the puzzle
 

Skyblue C

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
30
Take away the CHC, it's just an option they thought they'd try, i'm happy looking after my mum at this moment, they think she needs specialist care x
 

Jan L

Registered User
Mar 26, 2020
44
CHC? wow, that is very hard to get and indicates a very high level of care required - it usually means that a qualified nurse is needed on site 24/7. SWs do not put in an application for this lightly.
Sorry to show my ignorance, what is CHC?
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,418
South coast
Sorry to show my ignorance, what is CHC?
Continuing Health Care - its for when there is a very high need for medical/nursing care (not just 24/7 care in a care home), so it is paid for by the NHS. It is very seldom granted to people with dementia as the vast majority of their needs are considered to be social needs (not medical ones) and therefore do not count or do not count enough. The people with dementia who get it are usually the ones who are violent/extremely aggressive, are a very high falls risk, or have some other medical condition, such as cancer.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,540
Essex
You can also have CHC at home as far as I understand although I could be wrong. @Matty C I wish you all the luck in the world if you are having a meeting with your brothers to continue caring. I take my hat off to you.

MaNaAk
 

Jan L

Registered User
Mar 26, 2020
44
Continuing health care, where the NHS fund the care needed, such as if 24/7 care is required
Thank you for your reply, I thought it was probably something like that but wanted to be sure. I care for my Husband 24/7, he can no longer communicate, doesn't seem to understand what I say. He can no longer get from one room to another on his own, he can't find the toilet now he won't even come to me in the kitchen when he needs me to take him, so I spend my time trying to prepare meals etc while dodging in and out of the front room to see what he is doing and if he needs the bathroom. I can't say he is violent, but does grab my arms to stop me directing him into the shower, he doesn't like having a shower any more. He was diagnosed as severe combined Alzheimer's/vascular dementia in April 2015, he now sleeps most of the time, I can't leave him and with his deteriorating mobility I can't take him with me (he has arthritis in his knees as well as probably losing his balance with the progress of his Dementia). Lockdown is supposed to be easing, but at the start we were having a daily walk up the close, now some days he won't even get showered and dressed so we don't even do that now. I really don't know where to turn for support as I know we will have to pay and I worry about my future financial security, so soldier on as a sole carer.
 

Jan L

Registered User
Mar 26, 2020
44
Continuing Health Care - its for when there is a very high need for medical/nursing care (not just 24/7 care in a care home), so it is paid for by the NHS. It is very seldom granted to people with dementia as the vast majority of their needs are considered to be social needs (not medical ones) and therefore do not count or do not count enough. The people with dementia who get it are usually the ones who are violent/extremely aggressive, are a very high falls risk, or have some other medical condition, such as cancer.
@canary Thank you for taking the time to reply to my query and the information. I have replied more fully to skyblue C on this page so can I refer you to that so I don't have to repeat myself.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,418
South coast
I really don't know where to turn for support as I know we will have to pay and I worry about my future financial security,
Are you in England? If so, then if your husband has less than £25,000 in savings (or £50,000 in a joint account) then the LA will pay towards any care that Social Services agree that he needs. All the while you are living in your house it will not be counted in the financial assessment (assuming that you own it). Please contact Social Services for a needs assessment to find out what can be offered - usually carers coming in to wash/shower and dress him, help with meals, incontinence, changing the bed etc. You dont have to struggle on alone.
 

Skyblue C

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
30
Oh I do feel for you Jan, it's heartbreaking to see your loved one deteriorate, you deserve a medal Jan x
My mum was such a sociable person, she went dancing every Friday night until she was in her 70's, she still has some personality but not much now, she will give cheeky wink at me x
Hope all works out for you and God bless x
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
Get in touch with the office of public guardians helpline I did they told me you can fight it regulations on poa the named person can not do that’s force any one in a home if has care at home I’m going threw this I’ve got community care lawyer what poa has he got if you want email me il send you . we’re you can check that I’m right a lot of organisations not legally trained
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
She’s protected by this in law can’t be forced . Even if has no capacity as long as has care at home . You’ll be surprised I’ve researched it all my lawyer was right don’t give up carry on I didn’t stressfull must admit but you have a strong case seek legal advice . You’ll get it free community care law
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,698
I think you need to have a serious chat with your brother @skyblueC Your mum' s needs might now outweigh her wants and the fact she wants to stay at home and that you are happy to keep her there might not be enough to keep her safe. I think you still need to have an honest chat with your brother about it all.
@Marie67, you seem to be having a similar problem, but I guess as you are not related to the person you cared for it makes things trickier. Your friend may be unhappy in her care home, but that is no guarantee she'd be happier back in her own home. My mother soon forgot how unhappy she'd been at home when I moved her into a care home and wanted to go back there. If I'd agreed she not only would have been unhappy, she'd have been very unsafe as well.
Sorry that you are both in this position dementia really is the pits.
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
I think you need to have a serious chat with your brother @skyblueC Your mum' s needs might now outweigh her wants and the fact she wants to stay at home and that you are happy to keep her there might not be enough to keep her safe. I think you still need to have an honest chat with your brother about it all.
@Marie67, you seem to be having a similar problem, but I guess as you are not related to the person you cared for it makes things trickier. Your friend may be unhappy in her care home, but that is no guarantee she'd be happier back in her own home. My mother soon forgot how unhappy she'd been at home when I moved her into a care home and wanted to go back there. If I'd agreed she not only would have been unhappy, she'd have been very unsafe as well.
Sorry that you are both in this position dementia really is the pits.
I dose not matter if I’m not related to her friend 32 years my friend still has capacity if can pay for own care she can go home I’m . my case is strong in law . My friend would be she lost her husband 8 weeks before children duped her told only rest bite I know this family . There not interested in her that was plain to see I was unpaid free carer 16 hours a day they wouldn’t do it the family are not close at all resent there mother a lot gone on . In past not forgave her .every case is different by own merits not every ones same . they treated her vile I documented everything there more interested in inheritance . was on frugal basic **** I bought her meals toiletries helped her in her home they hardly went no phone calls hardly she only had me .
 

Marie 67

Registered User
Jul 25, 2020
38
What poa has he got you need both but there's restrictions on them what you can can't do . I rang loads helplines not legally trained I did loads research while waiteing for my Soliciter get involved . Everything I knew they said I was right.
 
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