Gosh, it's 2 months since I posted on this thread.
My dad is still in the care home and has been very up and down. Uncooperative with the staff, aggressive, lashing out, withdrawn but sometimes charming and laughing.
He had a bad chest infection over Christmas and took to his bed. He is often incontinent and will lie in his bed soaking wet and there is nothing we or the care staff can do about it. He is still a big man, and still very strong at 83. On one occasion when I was trying to take the duvet off he gripped both my hands in his one hand and squeezed so hard I had to stop myself from crying out. (Note to self: take off rings before trying that one again!)
One morning it took my sister and I 2 and a half hours to get him up and changed out of his wet pyjamas. All this time all he could say was 'NO!'. Then the GP arrived and he immediately sat up, put his hand out to shake hands and said 'Good morning doctor'.
He has now finished his antibiotics and is slightly more cooperative, but says very little when we visit, apart from 'yes' and 'no'. We think he is very resentful of where he is but can't put it into words, so marks his protests by staying in bed and refusing to speak.
On Thursday an old school friend who lives in Southport wanted to come and see him. Of course this friend is in his 80's as well, has a disabled wife for whom he had to arrange carers, and my mum warned him that my dad might not know him and may just sit there with his eyes tightly closed. In fact when he walked into the lounge and saw his friend his face broke into a smile and he chatted with him before drifting off to sleep. My mum showed his friend around the home and when they got back my dad was awake again and said 'Now, where have you two been?
'
Today he was refusing to get up again. The staff had managed to dress him from the waist down but they and my mum couldn't persuade him to get up so they could dress his top half. When I arrived at 2.30 he was lying on the bare matress wearing only his trousers socks and a vest. He had his dressing gown over him. He was very unresponsive to the extent that I was worried that he might have had a small stroke.
I put the radio on and just sat with him. I asked him if he wanted a drink and he nodded (the first acknowledgment that I was there and talking to him). Eventually I got him into the chair and put his shirt on, and later he agreed to go down to the lounge where he wolfed a sandwich, was chatty, cooperative and the best he's been since Christmas.
At 5 o'clock when I said I was going (my mum had arrived by this time) he said 'but you're coming back?'. I told him I would be back tomorrow and he said 'Oh OK then'. Tomorrow he may be different again!
My dad is still in the care home and has been very up and down. Uncooperative with the staff, aggressive, lashing out, withdrawn but sometimes charming and laughing.
He had a bad chest infection over Christmas and took to his bed. He is often incontinent and will lie in his bed soaking wet and there is nothing we or the care staff can do about it. He is still a big man, and still very strong at 83. On one occasion when I was trying to take the duvet off he gripped both my hands in his one hand and squeezed so hard I had to stop myself from crying out. (Note to self: take off rings before trying that one again!)
One morning it took my sister and I 2 and a half hours to get him up and changed out of his wet pyjamas. All this time all he could say was 'NO!'. Then the GP arrived and he immediately sat up, put his hand out to shake hands and said 'Good morning doctor'.
He has now finished his antibiotics and is slightly more cooperative, but says very little when we visit, apart from 'yes' and 'no'. We think he is very resentful of where he is but can't put it into words, so marks his protests by staying in bed and refusing to speak.
On Thursday an old school friend who lives in Southport wanted to come and see him. Of course this friend is in his 80's as well, has a disabled wife for whom he had to arrange carers, and my mum warned him that my dad might not know him and may just sit there with his eyes tightly closed. In fact when he walked into the lounge and saw his friend his face broke into a smile and he chatted with him before drifting off to sleep. My mum showed his friend around the home and when they got back my dad was awake again and said 'Now, where have you two been?
'Today he was refusing to get up again. The staff had managed to dress him from the waist down but they and my mum couldn't persuade him to get up so they could dress his top half. When I arrived at 2.30 he was lying on the bare matress wearing only his trousers socks and a vest. He had his dressing gown over him. He was very unresponsive to the extent that I was worried that he might have had a small stroke.
I put the radio on and just sat with him. I asked him if he wanted a drink and he nodded (the first acknowledgment that I was there and talking to him). Eventually I got him into the chair and put his shirt on, and later he agreed to go down to the lounge where he wolfed a sandwich, was chatty, cooperative and the best he's been since Christmas.
At 5 o'clock when I said I was going (my mum had arrived by this time) he said 'but you're coming back?'. I told him I would be back tomorrow and he said 'Oh OK then'. Tomorrow he may be different again!
