Hi @Dutchman I considered a care home for dad well over a year ago when my husband had 2 heart attacks and i just could not cope but then we found that dad had cancer and would not be getting treatment (it was the correct decision in my opinion) and I just felt that I could not put a dying man in a care home and instead decided to try and make his remaining time as nice as possible in his own home. We muddled through quite well until his hospital admission in February this year for pneumonia followed by a heart attack and a stroke and 3 falls and I went looking at care homes but again i felt awful about it and home he came. He has recovered well and can get about in his house but in hindsight he should have gone straight from hospital to a care home and he probably would not have noticed. At the time I could easily have got away with telling him that it was for recuperation. I don't think I would get away with it now though. Dad gets out of bed in the morning at anytime between 8.00 am and midday, he has breakfast and goes straight back to sleep in the chair for most of the day. He can stay awake for a quiz show or a documentary but he can't follow a lot of programmes so he goes to sleep. He goes to bed whenever I say it is time and sleeps through the night. He is no trouble whatsoever but it is incredibly boring and I am only doing this because he is supposed to be dying. If he wasn't ill I am sure that he would be in a care home by now. The thing is that he is safe at home and happy as Larry so I feel that I stuck with it until something happens to change things. I think it will only take another incident like a fall or an infection and dad will have another downturn and then he will not know where he is and it will be a lot easier for me to arrange a care home and he probably would not notice. Incontinence would be another line in the sand for me. Amazingly dad still takes himself to the toilet although I leave his bathroom light on at night. I feel for you, I really do and if it was my husband I think he would have gone into a care home well before now because I could not cope with the thought of this going on for years. Dad has got away with it because I know it will end at some point although that point is stretching out further than I expected. Not a lot of help I suppose but you are obviously considering it and that means that the time is approaching and you should not feel guilty because you have done so much already and you deserve to have some sort of life of your own and I agree everyday is the same.