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TIPPING POINT

jenniferjean

Registered User
Apr 2, 2016
704
Basingstoke, Hampshire
It’s so sad that we all feel like this. The worst of it is feeling that nobody else understands or cares about me!! When I read these posts, however, that’s not true. We all care about each other!!! Some days I hate my husband, but most of the time, I look at him and just feel sorry it’s come to this and hope that the gods are kind to him. He wouldn’t want to be like this, no more than I do !!!
What you've written is so true. I feel that nobody else understands. And you've woken me to admit that my husband wouldn't want to be as he is. Thank you.
 

One Moment At A Time

Registered User
Jan 4, 2019
43
Puerto Rico
I have reached my tipping point already today he said he drank drain cleaner and now he's panicking about the cats drinking it ! " why are they all lying down suddenly? " he says ! Now he won't come into the bedroom !
I looked it up online and told him he would be screaming in pain from chemical burns so I'm not worried that he's actually done it , but now he's checking everything in the bathroom to make sure it won't hurt the cats !
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Right rant over time to get up !
 

One Moment At A Time

Registered User
Jan 4, 2019
43
Puerto Rico
Worm respectful greetings to you, I know it isn't easy, I too been Dx with early stages of AD, at times I get depress, anxieous & a little irritarated because I can't remember we're I place my car keys, cell phone and my grandson's name, I thank the Higher Power of my understanding, because tomorrow it's my my wife & I 36th marriage aniversity, have two wonderful adults children & two "treasures" grandsons 10 & 11, --- God willing my wife & I will go out tomorrow.

Dear Person you see besides having AD, I'm a cancer survivor & an ex PROBEM drinker, many yrs., ago "Lord" alcohol had me shackled inside a bottle & in denial, my the love & grace of a Higher Power of my understanding one of "Dr. Bob & Bill W." friend share his personal live story & invited me to my 1st ex drunken fellowship meeting in Puerto Rico, than I was 33 yrs., old & now I'm 59 yrs., old & I'm still drinking café, playing dominos with these wonderful folks, I also attend AD surport groups.

I have learned "what doesn't kills me make me stronger (trusting in His help 24/7)" / one moment at a time / easy does it / baby steps.

In closing what has help me is reaching out to loved ones, friends, health professionals & most importantly believing & trusting 24/7 on a Higher Power of my understanding --> I have found out that humor is also therapeutic & also the SERENITY Prayer, "buenas noches" / good night, be safe & take care,
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
419
Worm respectful greetings to you, I know it isn't easy, I too been Dx with early stages of AD, at times I get depress, anxieous & a little irritarated because I can't remember we're I place my car keys, cell phone and my grandson's name, I thank the Higher Power of my understanding, because tomorrow it's my my wife & I 36th marriage aniversity, have two wonderful adults children & two "treasures" grandsons 10 & 11, --- God willing my wife & I will go out tomorrow.

Dear Person you see besides having AD, I'm a cancer survivor & an ex PROBEM drinker, many yrs., ago "Lord" alcohol had me shackled inside a bottle & in denial, my the love & grace of a Higher Power of my understanding one of "Dr. Bob & Bill W." friend share his personal live story & invited me to my 1st ex drunken fellowship meeting in Puerto Rico, than I was 33 yrs., old & now I'm 59 yrs., old & I'm still drinking café, playing dominos with these wonderful folks, I also attend AD surport groups.

I have learned "what doesn't kills me make me stronger (trusting in His help 24/7)" / one moment at a time / easy does it / baby steps.

In closing what has help me is reaching out to loved ones, friends, health professionals & most importantly believing & trusting 24/7 on a Higher Power of my understanding --> I have found out that humor is also therapeutic & also the SERENITY Prayer, "buenas noches" / good night, be safe & take care,
Ah, bless you, you sound like a strong person, good luck with your wife and the dementia journey x
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
419
It’s so sad that we all feel like this. The worst of it is feeling that nobody else understands or cares about me!! When I read these posts, however, that’s not true. We all care about each other!!! Some days I hate my husband, but most of the time, I look at him and just feel sorry it’s come to this and hope that the gods are kind to him. He wouldn’t want to be like this, no more than I do !!!
Absolutely true, we have to keep remembering the person that they were and of course they would hate to be in this position.
 

One Moment At A Time

Registered User
Jan 4, 2019
43
Puerto Rico
Ah, bless you, you sound like a strong person, good luck with your wife and the dementia journey x
Warm respectful greetings White Rose from Puerto Rico & thank you for your reply, yes at times I feel strong in my faith on a Higher Power of my understanding other moments I feel depress, but I can't complain my situation could be much ... worse, as long as I have a little bite of reasoning I'll put my faith / trust in my Lord & Savior, each day I try my best to focus on my blessings, my loved ones, friends, health professionals, AA & AD surport fellewship meetings, in closing be safe & have a blessed day, "un Felix Año 2020"
 

Ruth1974

Registered User
Dec 26, 2018
77
I have reached my tipping point already today he said he drank drain cleaner and now he's panicking about the cats drinking it ! " why are they all lying down suddenly? " he says ! Now he won't come into the bedroom !
I looked it up online and told him he would be screaming in pain from chemical burns so I'm not worried that he's actually done it , but now he's checking everything in the bathroom to make sure it won't hurt the cats !
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Right rant over time to get up !
 

where did she go

Registered User
Nov 6, 2018
16
Think I've missed this thread @maryjoan been trying to catch up but too much to read. Tipping Point is a good name for it - but if it's a really bad tipping point then it's the straw that broke the camels back. Anyway the tipping point is everything for me these days, like the endless nonsense conversation, the endless repetitive questions, the neediness and self-absorbtion, the negativity and believing that no one cares for him, following me around everywhere, loss of freedom, loss of choice.... But the one that's really annoying me today is the amount of work he makes, so much cleaning, toilets all the time, sheets, clothes, the mess, helping with showering, dressing, teeth brushing..... Anyway I think I've come to the realisation today that I don't love him anymore (horrible to admit so hopefully this will stay hidden within your post). I feel so sad about it and it means I'm caring for him only out of pity and for what I used to feel for him. Trying to analyse whether I really don't love him anymore or perhaps there is something left because I would miss him if he wasn't around (or would I?). I wonder if anyone else has fallen out of love with their spouse/partner who has dementia, I would be too scared to ask in case it is only me!
 

where did she go

Registered User
Nov 6, 2018
16
Hi whiterose. You most certainly are not alone in the way you feel. I have become resentful and hate myself for shouting at my wife. She drives me to distraction in almost everything now. Watching the same tv programme endlessly, waking up at all hours wanting to go home, getting dressed to go out when she cant as she is so dissbled with COPD, refusing her nebuliser when she cant breath, asking where I am, asking were the children are (they left home years ago). I know it sounds petty reading this but its the never ending monotony and knowing its never going to get any better. I love her deeply but im beginning to hate her too. Just being honest. I will never tell anyone that as they wouldnt understand. They all say just agree and say yes as they dont get it.
 

where did she go

Registered User
Nov 6, 2018
16
@White Rose , @maryjoan , @jenniferjean I feel the same. I've known for a while that I'm no longer in love with my husband. And yes, I feel for him and care for him, and I did love the man he was, but that is the past. All I feel now is empty and so alone. But I try not to dwell on that too often. And this is the first time I've said it out loud.
Hi. I agree ive found that the loneliness is awful. I have to do everything now for the last couple of years. My wife just exists from day to day and therefore so do I. She really has no clue that she cant do anything for herself and any attempts end in more work cleaning and tidying up. Inexplicably yesterday she left the house and drove to her uncles house and told him someone had broken into the house and hit her over the head. He is 95 and frail so believed her. I had just nipped out to shop. Imagine my blind panic at the thoughtvof where she was for an hour beforevi got a call from her brother as to where she was. Needless to say the car keys are now gone and im selling the car.