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Stressed about sorting mothers house.

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,512
Essex
Yes especially in these uncertain times! My brother is the sort of person that wants everything done quickly and doesn't like being told otherwise. I know he is worried about money and he is worried about his inheritance.

When dad first became ill he gave us lifts to the hospital a few times before advising us to get taxis. Actually we used care cars. He used to say that if he wasn't self-employed he wouldn't be able to do this. I am self-employed and I did it! When dad went into the care home they took him to some appointments except most of the hospital ones. My brother said we pay them all that money so why are you still accompanying to hospital.

One example was for his cataracts a carer couldn't have accompanied him to this appointment because they wouldn't have the authority to allow the operation to go ahead. When dad was taken to hospital the final time I phoned my brother and his partner answered and they wondered why I was going to hospital again eventhough I told them that the paramedics thought he didn't have sepsis. At the mere mention of that I would have been there like a shot.

My morning hasn't quite gone as planned as I have had to carry out a few repair jobs to maintain the house that about to lose. I did what I could for dad and I think I am still doing it. @Duggies-girl your brother takes my breath away I tried explaining that I missed several days of work to care for dad and also I couldn't advertise for more because my time was taken caring and all work in schools wouldn't have been possible. It was only after having cared for dad that I was able to teach in a local music shop and just to get my feet back on the ground before lockdown. I used to really enjoy visiting dad after work and taking him out. I remember when he wouldn't leave the hospital until he had coffee at Costa!

MaNaAk
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,028
Yes especially in these uncertain times! My brother is the sort of person that wants everything done quickly and doesn't like being told otherwise. I know he is worried about money and he is worried about his inheritance.

When dad first became ill he gave us lifts to the hospital a few times before advising us to get taxis. Actually we used care cars. He used to say that if he wasn't self-employed he wouldn't be able to do this. I am self-employed and I did it! When dad went into the care home they took him to some appointments except most of the hospital ones. My brother said we pay them all that money so why are you still accompanying to hospital.

One example was for his cataracts a carer couldn't have accompanied him to this appointment because they wouldn't have the authority to allow the operation to go ahead. When dad was taken to hospital the final time I phoned my brother and his partner answered and they wondered why I was going to hospital again eventhough I told them that the paramedics thought he didn't have sepsis. At the mere mention of that I would have been there like a shot.

My morning hasn't quite gone as planned as I have had to carry out a few repair jobs to maintain the house that about to lose. I did what I could for dad and I think I am still doing it. @Duggies-girl your brother takes my breath away I tried explaining that I missed several days of work to care for dad and also I couldn't advertise for more because my time was taken caring and all work in schools wouldn't have been possible. It was only after having cared for dad that I was able to teach in a local music shop and just to get my feet back on the ground before lockdown. I used to really enjoy visiting dad after work and taking him out. I remember when he wouldn't leave the hospital until he had coffee at Costa!

MaNaAk
I took two and a half years out of work to look after dad and now I am not even entitled to unemployment allowance but I am glad that I did it (however much I may have moaned at the time) I was incredibly close to dad throughout and I know he was pleased to have me there. Your dad would have been the same.

I wish we didn't have this covid thing hanging over us now though because it is making everything worse and I don't see things getting better after this coming weekends opening up of pubs etc
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,512
Essex
Just letting you all know that I have done more packing today and taken photos of the books to email to both my brothers especially the one that lives 200 miles away so that they can both decide if they want to keep anything. I have also contacted a few charity shops to see if they can come and collect anything and I am waiting to hear from them.

MaNaAk
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,028
Just letting you all know that I have done more packing today and taken photos of the books to email to both my brothers especially the one that lives 200 miles away so that they can both decide if they want to keep anything. I have also contacted a few charity shops to see if they can come and collect anything and I am waiting to hear from them.

MaNaAk
@MaNaAk I have a big pile of books to go but I read that some charity shops are not taking books, games or jigsaws because they can't clean them.

I have been thinking of taking up jigsaw puzzles again as they kept me quite busy through dads last year. I don't suppose I will be able to get any now and I am not buying new ones as they are a bit expensive.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,028
Im borrowing jig-saws from friends @Duggies-girl . They leave them in my porch and I pick them up and take them indoors the following day.
That is a good idea @canary When I was living at dads I used to borrow from dads neighbour as she was always swapping with friends, it was like a jigsaw club. I also used to pick the odd couple up at charity shops on the odd occasion that I went in town and then I would pass them on to the neighbour. I expect the charity shops might still have some.

I won't look at a puzzle with less than 1000 pieces now.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,387
South coast

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,512
Essex
I'm willing to wipe all the books down with my endless supply of wipes. Dad's care home used to have jigsaws and I have quite a few as well. Getting back to the clearing I still have a lot to do whilst waiting to see what will happen to the books.

MaNaAk
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,686
Charity shops are beginning to re-open, but worth phoning first to find out their new guidelines. I volunteer in a charity bookshop and we've been in for a couple of weeks getting everything ready for re-opening on Friday. We're opening slightly shorter hours and closing Wednesdays and Sundays for the time being. We're taking small donations throughout the day, but asking people with large ones to book in a drop off time.
@MaNaAk you are doing an amazing job and please try to ignore your brother(s) I'm afraid if mine had said anything like that he'd have got a blistering reply about what I thought of him. Has the elder one actually submitted all the stuff for probate yet?
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,512
Essex
Dear @Sarasa,

Yes! I'll let you know about the charity shops as I have emailed a few. A few are still closed but the one at the top of the road has already taken a few kitchen utensils and they are willing to accept the music that I am going to bring. All the tax forms have been submitted and I will ask my brother about the progress of the probate form which he was going to fill out a few weeks ago. I am not all that keen on contacting my brothers but the elder one did say that there was no time set in stone for me to move out. He seems to be more level headed when it comes to finance.

MaNaAk
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,028
@canary I haven't heard of Wentworth jigsaws but dads neighbour lent me one that had a puzzle different to the picture on the box. It was called Wasgij or something similar. The picture just gave a clue as to the result.

That one to me ages but I got there in the end.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,387
South coast
Wentworth jigsaws are ever so expensive! The ones I have done have all been borrowed.

Have heard of Wasjig, but not done one of their puzzles.

You are doing ever so well with the clearing and cleaning @MaNaAk
Try and ignore your younger brother
 

CWR

Registered User
Mar 17, 2019
199
I would contact the CAB about the books etc., just to be doubly sure. I am fortunate insofar as the house is in my name, and the only money ( apart from insurances) was the joint account which I transferred to my account. Plus, it did help that none of the Mafia were involved at all! Check out this article on donating books to charity before probate.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
2,512
Essex
Thankyou all once again and CWR I will check this website out. Does anyone here find it funny that invisibles seem to know more about life than us?;)

MaNaAk

PS: Funny how dad used to talk to the relatives and carers at the home about his daughter and how the carers thought I had one brother!