Stressed about sorting mothers house.

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,021
Essex
When brother starts hassling you shrug and say "I cant do anything until probate is granted". Deflect the blame to someone else. Honestly, he can rage and fume for all hes worth, but he wont get his money any quicker.
It's funny you should say that @canary because when I spoke to my brother on Wednesday I told him that our other brother was starting on the probate form and he was rather stunned. I told him that I had been checking up on the probate and that according to what I had read after the Inheritance Tax form has been submitted you have to settle any tax before applying for probate. We haven't heard about the inheritance tax yet but our brother and his wife are now filling out the probate form after waiting to see what is happening with
regard to lockdown.

I told him you can't sell a house until probate has gone through and I asked whether he had thought about checking up on this. Of course he didn't and this reminds of when I was applying for POAs for both Health and Finance and I told both of my brothers about these and sent them both links and of course they signed these without questioning them. One of my brothers wanted to alter the POA for Finance and now the other brother must be deeply irritated with both of us for being
slow.

MaNaAk
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,132
North West
Oh @MaNaAk -just been reading your thread. I thought my life was difficult but yours is definately more complicated with everything. Sometimes its just easier to get a solicitor to resolve these matters and pay the fee -I do feel for you. I won't be messing about when sorting mums last affairs, I'll just instruct a solicitor as I know my invisible brother will suddenyl appear and create havoc.

There seems to be alot of faffing between your brothers, which would drive me spare and I would probably put my foot down on my own position. Like others have said there is no point in moving out until the house finally goes up for sale and then looking for somewhere else and I know that is stressful as well. And besides keeping the property occupied at the moment is doing everyone a favour.
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,593
Hello @MaNaAk, agree with @Palerider, especially the faffing about; doesn't that phrase just put a smile on your face and put things in perspective!
😊we're with you 100% 😘
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
592
A neighbour of mine ordered a large skip last week while some work was being done in his house.When he went to bed, it was empty but by the morning it was almost full with other people's rubbish. As our local tip has only just reopened for bagged household waste only, people took the opportunity to get rid of all sorts of rubbish they had collected during lockdown!
 

Lynmax

Registered User
Nov 1, 2016
592
There is no way I am going to step inside the house anyway until it has been cleaned - I'm playing on my health concerns as poo and blood have always been my lines in the sand!
 

DianeW

Registered User
Sep 10, 2013
787
Lytham St Annes
Please be careful what you agree to with your brother, you moving out a month after probate may just not be realistic, you won’t have your share until the house is sold will you?? And they can then hold it against you.

I think your brothers feel that you are going to drag things out and delay moving out, I get the impression they feel that your being difficult because you don’t want to move.

All I can advise is that you start sorting and do what you can to make it easier for you, everything is slow at the moment and they are just going to have to wait whether they like it or not..... I remember you said you had found a few properties, have you viewed anything yet and are you still actively looking online?

I understand how difficult it is for you, I really hope things develop quickly and the house sells or you can manage to buy them out, you will then begin to try to build a different life and settle down.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,021
Essex
Thankyou everyone and @DianeW I'm still looking on-line but the estate agents that valued the house before lockdown said that it is best to put it on the market before
looking. They said it can go on the market whilst probate goes through but a buyer can't sign until probate has gone through.

One of them spoke about de-cluttering and they all said that this needs to be turned into a project. Of course we started going through the stuff and then lockdown happened. I am still carrying on with the clearing but haven't viewed anything yet.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,021
Essex
Dear Lynmax,

My friend lost her husband to rare form of Alzheimers (according to the consultant) and she is clearing the house and putting stuff in a skip but some horrible person decided to put a bag full of dog's mess in it. There are some disgusting people around.

MaNaAk ]
There is no way I am going to step inside the house anyway until it has been cleaned - I'm playing on my health concerns as poo and blood have always been my lines in the sand!
[/QUOTE]
 

Bod

Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
1,352
It didn't feel good telling my brother that he can't come into the house yet and he didn't understand but when he asked me how long it would take for me to move out once the house was sold and I said a month he was happy. Today I looking at the whole situation again with regard to re-mortgaging, looking at what I can afford and the housing market and giving myself my own timescale. In other words I am sorting out my head yesterday was rather lonely doing this in lockdown except for my lovely friends here who are probably getting fed up with reading this.

MaNaAk
Remember, that only 2/3rds of the probate value of the house will need re-mortgaging, to give each brother their share. (Assuming equal split) Your 3rd will in effect be your deposit.
When doing the sums, the cost of running the house as well as any mortgage costs will have to be met from your income.

Bod.
 

MrsGriff

Registered User
Mar 2, 2019
16
I may be wrong and out of touch with with current rules and regs but when we sold MIL flat 4 years ago following her death, the marketing and sale of her property was able to run concurrently with the probate being finalised. (husband executor)The money from the sale is placed by solicitors "In the estate of ...." and held until probate finalised when money is released to benefactors etc.
I hope I've remebered this correctly and that infor maybe of some help.
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,010
High Peak
My brother started totting up the 'spoils' the same day my mother died. :(

He submitted the probate forms early in November and probate was not granted until March 24th. This was all before the pandemic of course and mum's estate was very straightforward - just money in the bank and a few shares, as we had already sold her property.

I think if the probate office are saying '8 weeks turnaround' that is extremely optimistic! And they will obviously be a lot busier now thanks to covid...
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,021
Essex
I may be wrong and out of touch with with current rules and regs but when we sold MIL flat 4 years ago following her death, the marketing and sale of her property was able to run concurrently with the probate being finalised. (husband executor)The money from the sale is placed by solicitors "In the estate of ...." and held until probate finalised when money is released to benefactors etc.
I hope I've remebered this correctly and that infor maybe of some help.
It would be different for us @MrsGriff as my brother did the probate but I am good ideas as to how to pan things out from these replies.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,021
Essex
My brother started totting up the 'spoils' the same day my mother died. :(

He submitted the probate forms early in November and probate was not granted until March 24th. This was all before the pandemic of course and mum's estate was very straightforward - just money in the bank and a few shares, as we had already sold her property.

I think if the probate office are saying '8 weeks turnaround' that is extremely optimistic! And they will obviously be a lot busier now thanks to covid...
Dear @jadedandfaded,

Your brother sounds similar to my youngest brother who approached me about the house one and a half weeks after dad's death.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,021
Essex
Just letting you all know that I have had a good conversation with the elder of my two brothers in that there is no time set for me to move out but I do have to go over figures again. Also I need to keep going with the clearing.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
3,021
Essex
Thankyou at @Grannie G,

It's a stressful situation but I am more relaxed (despite waking up early and worrying) I've had to go through the figures again because I only have a handful of pupils. I just wanted to say to them that moving out before Xmas could be unrealistic.

MaNaAk
 

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
116,923
Messages
1,710,523
Members
67,684
Latest member
Susan53