So is this it...?

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,430
Mums carers have just rung to confirm the Christmas dates she is away.
Good job I was sitting down as they said how excited Aged Mother is about spending Christmas with us!!!

REALLY!

on Saturday she was in full bah humbug mode! Even raising eyebrows in Tesco with her caustic comments!!!

ah well long may the excitement last!o_O
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,275
South coast
I know exactly what you mean about not having the strength to fight the system.
There comes a time when you just cant keep going.
Try and let it just wash over you and switch off.

I hope you have had a productive time making stuff and that it sells well
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,430
The Christmas tree is now becoming a personal issue! silly really!
I have had my Christmas spirit get up & evacuate the premises!

Silly but the last straw is that while I’m working on Sunday my husband will be visiting his family & having lunch & dinner cooked for him, exchanging all the presents I purchased & wrapped for his family; & having a jolly time of it!

meanwhile I’m struggling to try & get everything done here! I will not be wrapping lots of presents for Mum & Dad! I am hoping to collate a picture book for each of them! Not that they will know who is who in the photos!

I love Christmas, don’t get me wrong - but this is the saddest time of this dementia journey & I don’t have any emotional or physical reserves left now!

I’m all out! Yet I put on the pretence I’m coping on a daily basis. if I didn’t have this outlet for the utter sadness & grief I think this whole process would just eat me up alive. As it is it’s had a good attempt!

I really do hope my parents don’t live much longer, it’s cruel beyond belief.
So if I could have one thing I want this torture to end! I want my life back, I cannot keep doing this anymore.

Please don’t be shocked or horrified at me, I’m a good person just not as strong as others on here.
 

annielou

Registered User
Sep 27, 2019
472
Yorkshire
Please don’t be shocked or horrified at me, I’m a good person just not as strong as others on here.[/QUOTE]

You are x
I read your thread and all you have done and do for your parents and all that happens with the care of your family and I think OMG how does she keep going! And with all that going on you still take time to answer and comment so caringly on other peoples posts.
XxX
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
469
Morning @DesperateofDevon, it is an incredibly painful and unrelenting experience to bear witness to. It can take it little bit more of you each day and each week. It does feel so profoundly wrong. I do really feel for you and your family.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,787
I really do hope my parents don’t live much longer, it’s cruel beyond belief.
So if I could have one thing I want this torture to end! I want my life back, I cannot keep doing this anymore.

Please don’t be shocked or horrified at me, I’m a good person just not as strong as others on here

@DesperateofDevon That is exactly how I feel, especially and very sadly (I cannot keep doing this anymore)

Bless you, you have done so much and sometimes it is too much and it catches up with us.

Huge hugs for you xx
 

Moose1966

Registered User
Feb 10, 2017
134
Staffordshire
Morning @DesperateofDevon, it is an incredibly painful and unrelenting experience to bear witness to. It can take it little bit more of you each day and each week. It does feel so profoundly wrong. I do really feel for you and your family.
You are most certainly not alone on this especially this time of the year . Just this morning while getting ready , I looked at my mobile phone and thought is today the day your going to ring and the voice at the other end will tell me my mum passed away and is finally at peace . This is my constant mind set at the moment Christmas seems to far away from the horrible present I’m in now . Be strong you are not alone .
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
731
Bedford
[QUOTE="DesperateofDevon, post: 1681228, member:
I really do hope my parents don’t live much longer, it’s cruel beyond belief.
So if I could have one thing I want this torture to end! I want my life back, I cannot keep doing this anymore.

Please don’t be shocked or horrified at me, I’m a good person just not as strong as others on here.[/QUOTE]

I am not shocked or horrified at you. You are a good person and incredibly strong with all that you have going on but nobody can continue on all the time. You hit a breaking point when the system failed to support you trying to support particularly your Dad.
I find it hard to see my previously independent Mum struggling to do basic tasks and becoming so frustrated and you can see how frightened she is when confused.
I hope that you get some pleasure when you are working on Saturday if it is crafting related work.