So is this it...?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by DesperateofDevon, Oct 14, 2019.

  1. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    962
    Female
    cornwall
    I’m afraid I do not know the answers to the questions.
    Your poor dad! It is never ending isn’t it?
    Don’t they have Duty of Care? Surely they have to keep him there until somewhere else is found??

    I feel for you and I wish I could help you more..
    Sending (((hugs)))
     
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,071
    Female
    South coast
    Im not surprised that the home have given your dad notice - Ive thought for a while that although they may say that they are a dementia home, they seem to have very little understanding of the later stages.

    I do hope that you can find a place that will look after him properly
     
  3. silver'lantern

    silver'lantern Registered User

    Apr 23, 2019
    166
    Female
    although ts disruption for dad i think it might do him a favour to get him out of there. do you think he is up to the move. or are his best interests to be kept there? i am sure hs best interests have to be met first!.....i would hope so ....but with this ongoing of events at this place who knows, they seem to have their own laws that they make up as they go alon to suit the moment not poor dad!
     
  4. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    I have no idea, & to be honest I can’t keep fighting the system.
     
  5. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    615
    Bedford
    I do so hope that this dreadful situation for your Dad and you ends up positively somehow
     
  6. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,752
    Oh @DesperateofDevon it is all a bit much in the end. You have done so much for your poor dad and neither of you deserve this. I wish I could help but the best I can do is wish you some strength and send some hugs.

    We can only do our best.
     
  7. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    882
    Female
    Thank goodness that the lovely chap in the middle of this turmoil is unaware of what is going on.
    You bear the brunt for him @DesperateofDevon, there must be a home that can show more understanding of what he needs at this stage of his dementia and at the same time support you, his grieving daughter and family, instead of the constant antagonism that comes from where he is now.
     
  8. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    Hope your life is getting a little easier, my husband is now in the driving seat along with lovely daughter. I can’t face the agro at the home so am busy working to make sure that I am distracted.
    I hope he gets moved soon.
    As I’m not confident enough to go in on my own now!
     
  9. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    I think that a move is going to happen no matter what. maybe it’s in everybody’s best interests now?
    I’m just worn out by it all now!
    Roll on 2020!!!
     
  10. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    I am exhausted by it all now & leaving it to my husband & daughter. I can’t cope with the safeguarding & Dads move, plus sorting out Mums care package etc!
    Enough is enough now ....
    thank you for your support & the hugs are gratefully recieved!
     
  11. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    Life is full of twists & turns at the moment. Positively Dad loves his new wheelchair! Very comfortable & that’s what all this is about .... Dad.
    My nerves are shredded!!
     
  12. Pete1

    Pete1 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2019
    360
    Male
    Hi @DesperateofDevon, you have had a hell of a year for sure, I'm not surprised at all that your nerves are shredded. You've summed it up perfectly....its all about your Dad, and you and your family have done him proud. Stay strong.
     
  13. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    Thank you lovely
    It’s about Dads & Mums dementia journeys
    I would like answers as to how & why but that’s not going to happen. Now I just want routine & some time to be with them without all this palaver!
     
  14. Kikki21

    Kikki21 Registered User

    Feb 27, 2016
    2,180
    Female
    East Midlands
    @DesperateofDevon keep strong - you are doing amazing! It seems a move is for the best. I found many contradictions in my mum’s care for sure but at least her care home seemed decent & they did look after her & were happy to look after her till the end too. End of life care dementia should mean just that xx
     
  15. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    I agree, totally. I think that whatever happens now is out of my hands
    X
     
  16. Splashing About

    Splashing About Registered User

    Oct 20, 2019
    346
    Just seen your news @DesperateofDevon OFGS! Just what you don’t need at this time of year. I hope the silver lining is a better home better suited to him. Any chance of bringing him closer to you?
     
  17. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    Social services are sorting it all out. It will be what it is. Aged mother keeps saying she wants him back near her, I did tell her to be careful what she wishes for!

    to be honest I’m just sick of the whole system & situation. so the powers that be must get on with their processes & let us know in their own good time what’s what!


    I really have had it ! the whole situation made me so ill, &actually for what?
    whatever I do aged mother will find fault. So at the end of the day I need to have some sort of life...

    It sounds harsh but ... consequences of decisions have come home to roost.
    How sad
    Xx
     
  18. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    I have a Christmas tree & no decorations on it ! it’s green & in a stand!
    I’m quite liking the look!
    Extreme minimalism!
     
  19. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    615
    Bedford
    Quite natural looking then :)
    Maybe the tree decorating fairies will appear overnight and the minimalist look will become a distant memory :D
     
  20. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,197
    No fairies sadly ! but event cancelled for tomorrow so maybe....?
     

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