So is this it...?

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,054
cornwall
This system I have realised is going to do whatever it wants no matter what! Even as LPA we are have no voice with the GP - who has asked us to go through the home. The care home that said Dad didn’t need a profiling bed/ special chair / soft diet/ help feeding himself. The same end of life care home that specialises in dementia care who have served Dad notice. The care home who repeatedly told me he didn’t need CHC funding who now have requested the district nurse who told me that my Dad after being put on palliative care was fully capable of movement & didn’t need any extra help. Even in the safeguarding meeting this nurse insisted she’d had an interesting conversation with Dad only recently. Dads not able to communicate & we have been his LPA s since 2016 to ensure his needs & best interests are met! His dementia means he is in & out of sleep/ consciousness minute by minute.

This same nurse suggested as LPA I could overturn Dads wishes & the cod evils on the office of guardian documents!
So this professional has been asked by the home todo an apparaial for CHC funding

whatdoido I have to give my permission ??
I’m afraid I do not know the answers to the questions.
Your poor dad! It is never ending isn’t it?
Don’t they have Duty of Care? Surely they have to keep him there until somewhere else is found??

I feel for you and I wish I could help you more..
Sending (((hugs)))
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,347
South coast
Im not surprised that the home have given your dad notice - Ive thought for a while that although they may say that they are a dementia home, they seem to have very little understanding of the later stages.

I do hope that you can find a place that will look after him properly
 

silver'lantern

Registered User
Apr 23, 2019
166
although ts disruption for dad i think it might do him a favour to get him out of there. do you think he is up to the move. or are his best interests to be kept there? i am sure hs best interests have to be met first!.....i would hope so ....but with this ongoing of events at this place who knows, they seem to have their own laws that they make up as they go alon to suit the moment not poor dad!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
although ts disruption for dad i think it might do him a favour to get him out of there. do you think he is up to the move. or are his best interests to be kept there? i am sure hs best interests have to be met first!.....i would hope so ....but with this ongoing of events at this place who knows, they seem to have their own laws that they make up as they go alon to suit the moment not poor dad!
I have no idea, & to be honest I can’t keep fighting the system.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
1,787
Oh @DesperateofDevon it is all a bit much in the end. You have done so much for your poor dad and neither of you deserve this. I wish I could help but the best I can do is wish you some strength and send some hugs.

We can only do our best.
 

Dimpsy

Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
1,032
Thank goodness that the lovely chap in the middle of this turmoil is unaware of what is going on.
You bear the brunt for him @DesperateofDevon, there must be a home that can show more understanding of what he needs at this stage of his dementia and at the same time support you, his grieving daughter and family, instead of the constant antagonism that comes from where he is now.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
Im not surprised that the home have given your dad notice - Ive thought for a while that although they may say that they are a dementia home, they seem to have very little understanding of the later stages.

I do hope that you can find a place that will look after him properly
Hope your life is getting a little easier, my husband is now in the driving seat along with lovely daughter. I can’t face the agro at the home so am busy working to make sure that I am distracted.
I hope he gets moved soon.
As I’m not confident enough to go in on my own now!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
Oh @DesperateofDevon it is all a bit much in the end. You have done so much for your poor dad and neither of you deserve this. I wish I could help but the best I can do is wish you some strength and send some hugs.

We can only do our best.
I am exhausted by it all now & leaving it to my husband & daughter. I can’t cope with the safeguarding & Dads move, plus sorting out Mums care package etc!
Enough is enough now ....
thank you for your support & the hugs are gratefully recieved!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
Thank goodness that the lovely chap in the middle of this turmoil is unaware of what is going on.
You bear the brunt for him @DesperateofDevon, there must be a home that can show more understanding of what he needs at this stage of his dementia and at the same time support you, his grieving daughter and family, instead of the constant antagonism that comes from where he is now.
Life is full of twists & turns at the moment. Positively Dad loves his new wheelchair! Very comfortable & that’s what all this is about .... Dad.
My nerves are shredded!!
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
492
Hi @DesperateofDevon, you have had a hell of a year for sure, I'm not surprised at all that your nerves are shredded. You've summed it up perfectly....its all about your Dad, and you and your family have done him proud. Stay strong.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
Hi @DesperateofDevon, you have had a hell of a year for sure, I'm not surprised at all that your nerves are shredded. You've summed it up perfectly....its all about your Dad, and you and your family have done him proud. Stay strong.
Thank you lovely
It’s about Dads & Mums dementia journeys
I would like answers as to how & why but that’s not going to happen. Now I just want routine & some time to be with them without all this palaver!
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,256
East Midlands
@DesperateofDevon keep strong - you are doing amazing! It seems a move is for the best. I found many contradictions in my mum’s care for sure but at least her care home seemed decent & they did look after her & were happy to look after her till the end too. End of life care dementia should mean just that xx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
@DesperateofDevon keep strong - you are doing amazing! It seems a move is for the best. I found many contradictions in my mum’s care for sure but at least her care home seemed decent & they did look after her & were happy to look after her till the end too. End of life care dementia should mean just that xx
I agree, totally. I think that whatever happens now is out of my hands
X
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
389
Just seen your news @DesperateofDevon OFGS! Just what you don’t need at this time of year. I hope the silver lining is a better home better suited to him. Any chance of bringing him closer to you?
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
Social services are sorting it all out. It will be what it is. Aged mother keeps saying she wants him back near her, I did tell her to be careful what she wishes for!

to be honest I’m just sick of the whole system & situation. so the powers that be must get on with their processes & let us know in their own good time what’s what!


I really have had it ! the whole situation made me so ill, &actually for what?
whatever I do aged mother will find fault. So at the end of the day I need to have some sort of life...

It sounds harsh but ... consequences of decisions have come home to roost.
How sad
Xx
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,580
I have a Christmas tree & no decorations on it ! it’s green & in a stand!
I’m quite liking the look!
Extreme minimalism!