So is this it...?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by DesperateofDevon, Oct 14, 2019.

  1. Moggymad

    Moggymad Registered User

    May 12, 2017
    454
    Female
    Sending caring thoughts & hugs @DesperateofDevon. It is the time to just be there for your dad now, no more battling with anyone. Make sure he is comfortable that he knows how much you love him & that you have done everything you could to help him. Tell him when he is ready to go it will be ok. You will be ok.
    Sorry this part of the journey brings all the emotions to the fore. It is the hardest time saying goodbye & a time you will always remember. Wishing you lots of strength & support for the days ahead xxx
     
  2. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    982
    Female
    cornwall
    I'm so sorry to hear this @DesperateofDevon .You have done as much as you can do for your dad.You have been amazing for your dad battling with the authorities.You need to be with your dad now and just to be his daughter. Sending lots of hugs((((( hugs)))) .My thoughts are with you..X:(
     
  3. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,776
    I am so sorry @DesperateofDevon It's going to be so hard for you but you did your very best with real love for your dad. He could not wish for a better daughter.

    Thinking of you and sending huge hugs xx
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,146
    Female
    South coast
    Huge ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    You are now into the last long vigil
    The main thing now is to be with him and be his daughter again.
    There will be many changes over the coming days and it may be messy, but these things are normal.
    He will probably stop drinking at some stage as his body starts shutting down.

    It is now time to say the things that need to be said to him - I love you, thank you, Im sorry
    xx
     
  5. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Volunteer Host

    Apr 1, 2016
    3,660
    Nottinghamshire
    Bless you @DesperateofDevon

    I lost my dad about this time last year. It's hard.

    ((((((((((Hugs))))))))))
     
  6. Pete1

    Pete1 Registered User

    Jul 16, 2019
    390
    Male
    My heart goes out to you and your family Claire, I'm sure it's a such comfort to know that your Dad's pain in being managed. That is all you can ask for as you approach the end.
     
  7. Woohoo

    Woohoo Registered User

    Apr 30, 2019
    579
    Female
    South East
    I’m so sorry too @DesperateofDevon , I Hope dad manages to stay pain free and has a peaceful passing on to his next adventure . Thinking of you and sending more hugs . X
     
  8. silver'lantern

    silver'lantern Registered User

    Apr 23, 2019
    166
    Female
    i hope you all have a calm and peaceful end to your journey @DesperateofDevon. its not easy even though its wanted/needed. there is no guilt or shame in the relief of peace x
     
  9. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,275
    Thank you my lovely TP family

    xxxx

    Dads unconscious now & I have illuminated his room with Christmas tree bedecked & baubles! Dads stopped drinking yesterday, more phone calls from out of hours DRs & GP. The comfort pack was another mission- off we went to get it hours after it was prescribed! Had to battle our way across the Christmas shoppers & locate the drugs at different pharmacies! 2plus hours to travel barely 3 miles!!
    if it hadn’t been torrential horizontal rain & blowing a gale it would have been quicker to walk!

    only to get back & the on call district nurse to say - without seeing him !! “ he’s not in enough pain!”
    Even though he can’t swallow his oromorph now! Plus they are short staffed!

    thank goodness he’s to far gone to know what’s what!

    I have come home to sleep, as lovely agency nurse who normally works in hospitals is in & she won’t take no for an answer - that’s for sure!

    no the homes managers haven’t spoken to me, neither did the best China come out as it did for SW, no biscuits or tea for us. mind you a seat to sit on would have been nice, I got a pouffee/tut, from the residents sitting room.

    Hilariously my OH squeezed himself into Dads state of the art wheelchair , wedged in didn’t describe it!

    The lovely senior carer who was on floor duty today came & hugged me , offered me drinks & cried with me. She fought Dads corner to have the comfort pack applied, to no avail. Several of the residents popped in to squeeze my hand & wish dad a peaceful journey.

    Strangely I’m calm & accepting now & as Dads unconscious it makes it easier.

    so I’m off to get some sleep! Phones beside me , ready to dash back!

    ps
    Ultimate comfort food ....bubble & squeak!
    With brown sauce.
    xx
     
  10. Bikerbeth

    Bikerbeth Registered User

    Feb 11, 2019
    658
    Bedford
    Sending you strength and hugs. Glad you have one carer at least in your corner. Wishing your Dad a final peaceful and pain free journey.
     
  11. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    2,275
    Dads got his wings
    Xx
     
  12. silver'lantern

    silver'lantern Registered User

    Apr 23, 2019
    166
    Female
    peace and love x
     
  13. buttercups

    buttercups Registered User

    Dec 31, 2015
    26
    Hi desperateofdevon. Just reading your post and wondering how you got on with your poor dad?
    Wondering is he still with us and did you get the home to administer regular morphine?
    My mum is now entering that stage and is eating very little. Like you, I'm virtually an only child and it all falls on me, although hubby is tremendous help. Mum is in a nursing home too.
    Hope you're dealing with whatever is happening/happened ok. Hugs xx
     
  14. Dimpsy

    Dimpsy Registered User

    Sep 2, 2019
    946
    Female
    Dear Claire, catching up with your post has bought back the bittersweet memory of being with my dad during his last hours. He was unconscious but I've always felt he knew my sister and I were with him.

    We whispered sweet words that stay private between the three of us and held him before and after.
    It was the saddest day ever but we were glad to share dad's last moments on this earth.

    I'm shedding tears for what you are facing at this time, for my dad and for us all who have lost a part of our lives.
    I wish for peace for both of you.

    Just read your message @DesperateofDevon and I'm do desperately sad for you and your family, sending all my sympathy hearing that your lovely dad has passed on.
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    11,146
    Female
    South coast
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    He is at peace now, please be gentle with yourself
     
  16. buttercups

    buttercups Registered User

    Dec 31, 2015
    26
     
  17. buttercups

    buttercups Registered User

    Dec 31, 2015
    26
    Sorry and glad for you. Glad because I agree its inhumane to gi on suffering, especially as this particular Nh didnt appear to get your dads comfort sorted properly. But sorry for you at the same timeto loose your obviously such loved dad.
    Go and rest your body and mind now.. you deserve a rest...xx
     
  18. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    982
    Female
    cornwall
    Sending love and hugs(((a big ))one..X
     
  19. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    1,776
    Dad's got his wings, I am glad that he is free at last and at peace but oh so sad at the same time for you @DesperateofDevon

    Thinking of you tonight xx
     
  20. Moose1966

    Moose1966 Registered User

    Feb 10, 2017
    134
    Female
    Staffordshire
    Oh my so sad to hear this, he has his wings and you must now fly free . ❤️
     

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