Morning all,
I may give the almond oil a try too, I think. Its awfully sore whenever my one dodgy naill splits vitically - splitting that way, rather than across, it tends to rip downwards, sometimes badly enough to bleed - anything that might improve the condition of the nail and make it a little stronger is worth a go - thanks Celia
x
Lol - I've avoided any glittery paper this year. Last year, I got one 'sparkly roll', thinking it was very pretty - and my poor dogs also sparkled for a week or so, as they (as well as everything else) got covered
Maybe the incident with your Mum may push Adult Services to pull their finger out over the assessment, Slugsta - sliver lining, perhaps? Its also good to read that your Mum seems to be mostly spared the awful frettung and anxiety that is so much a part of dementia for some - I'm glad for both your sakes. This illness throws enough at both the pwd and the carer without having the awful anxiety to deal with too.
Hope the choir performance went well, and that you didn't end up frozen! We are getting a combination of very cold weather combined with a lot of rain at the moment - very unpleasant
I went to visit Mil yesterday, and not a nice visit, sadly
When I arrived I was told that she had taken herself to bed for a sleep - she had, apparently been 'very snappy' with everyone and was getting herself very worked up - so I think the staff were quite relieved when she said she was tired and wanted to go to bed! She had been there a while, so the staff suggested that we 'put our heads' round the door, to see if she was awake. She was - and in her little en-suit loo. So the staff left and I waited in Mil's room for her. A bit of a 'thump' and Mil calling for help had me shooting into the loo - not fallen, but it appeared that she had tried to get up and walk after only pulling up her incontinence pants, leaving her trousers around her ankles - and she had stumbled sideways, hitting the wall - though thankfully had remained upright. I steadied her till she was standing straight and suggested she pull her trousers up. She looked at me blankly -I had to repeat it 2 or 3 times before she responded - and then, all she did was sort of stretch one arm downwards, without bending at all, making 'groping' motions with her hand and telling me she 'couldn't reach'. I went to try and pull the trousers up, and discovered that she had the right leg of the trousers the right way out, but the left leg was inside-out, so instead of turning it the right way, she had sort of twisted the trousers and put her leg through the bit that was still inside out, leaving the trousers twisted at the crotch so they couldn't be pulled up. No wonder she stumbled!
As an aside here, one of the things that both I and a couple of staff have noticed, is that Mil's ability to walk almost always deteriorates when I or OH visit. As one staff put it '
It amazing - when you are not here, she speeds round like Hussain Bolt - as soon as you walk through the door, she can't stand up or sit down without support, and appears so unsteady on her feet that she either leans on you or can't seem to walk without her frame'
And that's how she was yesterday. I asked her to sit back down on the toilet so I could sort the trousers, and she was demanding to hold onto my hands to lower herself. I refused, pointing to both grabrails and asking her to use them. Instant tears, sobbing '
I can't - please let me hold onto you' I felt awful, but refused and after 2 or 3 minutes, she eventually grabbed the handrails and managed to sit back down. It was a struggle to get the trousers off then, because she planted both feet firmly on the floor - as she used to do here when I tried to get socks or tights on her feet when she was here - and didn't respond when I asked her to lift them. It took several minutes to get the trousers off, straightened and then back on her again.
Then we had the performance of her demanding that I give her my hands so she could pull herself up, and again it took quite a few minutes and me insisting that I wouldn't let her hold onto me, for her to even try to use the rails, with tears and pleas throughout for me to take her weight. It was all so frustrating! And despite how much she has gone downhill, I am convinced that this was a deliberate 'playing up' for my benefit. Thankfully, her frame was in her room, so when she wanted to lean on me to walk, I was able to give her that. We headed back to the lounge, where once again, she wanted me to support her as she lowered herself into a seat. Again, a few minutes of tears and '
I can't Ann - oh help me, oh please, help me' and she managed herself!
Then I had 20 minutes of tears, stories of how she was in trouble, she had done something bad, she was going to prison - which moved onto going home and a confabulation/delusion that she had bought herself a nice big house in Chester, so wouldn't I please take her there? . A combination of firstly pleas and begging, then a quick turn into nasty and I was advised to
'stop talking like a stupid b****h' - I eventually suggested that I leave, as she clearly wasn't happy to see me? More tears, a promise to '
be good now' and she did calm a bit. I stayed for another 10 minutes, before 'home' started creeping back in and I told my usual tale of having to 'go back to work now' as an excuse to leave. Once again, she wanted me to help her to her feet - I burbled on about her staying nice and comfy sitting down, and shot towards the exit at the far end of the lounge - and looked back just in time to see her get to her feet, absolutely no problems at all
That visit was a very sharp reminder of when Mil lived here, and the daily struggles to get her dressed and undressed - so many times, she wanted me to support her and was so uncooperative, and of how I sometimes (often) felt that she was being deliberately difficult. The fact that staff have now commented on how she suddenly becomes so much less mobile when we visit would seem to confirm that she can and does still 'play up' !
Getting on top of my admin has proven a waste of time, as once again the IT demons have struck, and I am going to have to spend this morning re-doing a lot of work, with some additional steps which should have been done automatically by the system now having to be done manually - I could scream
The others who started the same time as me have all had the same issue, so I'm not alone - but so flipping frustrating!
Bad night last night, sleep wise, a combination of stressing over admin (which I know was stupid - its not like it can't be put right!), back and hip pain - and worrying over this BOG panal tomorrow. The back and hip - and some other joints - have been noticiably worse lately, so finally, I have agreed to try a visit to a chiropractor - I'm going tomorrow afternoon. That's something that would have been on the 'can't afford' list prior to me working again, tbh, but I have actually wanted to try it for a while, and I am so hoping it will help.
The stressing over the panal business is partly because I haven't been able to access all my notes yet, to prepare - bad timing, but my hardrive (all 2 terabytes of it) was getting extremely full, so a 4 terabyte hard drive has been purchased, and we had started to transfer everything over to that - not calculating that the file size of several thousand photographs meant that it would take nearly 3 days to actually complete! And while thats been going on, apart from everything on the pc being so slow, its also meant that the notes (which were on the old hardrive) have been inaccessable. It should complete the process in the next few hours - which means that I will have a late night tonight, getting everything sorted for tomorrow morning. I also had an email telling me that the 'panal' have decided that all 'evidence' will be given in front of all involved parties - which means that dau and I are going to have to 'face' all the teachers involved whilst we give 'evidence'. That has sent daughter into a panic, she is finding the whole idea so intimidating, saying they will all 'gang up' on her - she has good reason to feel like that, in my opinion - and her behaviour has been appalling this last week, and I can't help but think that a lot of it is down to stress for her. Makes it hard - I won't accept certain behaviour, but balancing dealing with that against the stress of what she is going through, is tough.
To add to it all, a meeting that should have happened on Tuesday was cancelled and instead of being rescheduled for today as I'd requested, apparently the only time it can be done is tomorrow, wedged between the panal and the chiropractic treatment, on my day off - arrggghhhhhhh! I need this meeting done before Christmas, for the sake of work - but talk about bad timing!
So apologies for the long post - head totally mashed (as my kids would say) at the moment, and after several weeks of feeling increasingly 'good'. the last couple of days I've crashed again and am back to wading through treacle and feeling overwhelmed
Grace - we haven't heard from you for a while - I do hope you are OK?
Hope you all have a peaceful day - will let you know how the panal goes xxxx