Morning all,
Red - I hope you and your OH have managed to get some time alone Hun - I'm not surprise you feel you need it, you haven't stopped sice you flew out and you must be so exhausted, as well as needing some time yjust for you to catch your breath and start to take everything in. Glad your dad's memorial service sounds like it went well - so sad, your brothers tribute xxx
Spamar - hope your visit to OH went well x I've got an appointment, end of next week, I think with consultant about back/hip - will see what he says then. Must admit, feel like the last 3 years or so that I've just been passed round, trying this and that, with nothing really helping so far
JM - hope you are feeling better now, hun xxx
Horrendous day yesterday, here, though it started off well with a dry bed, as Mil kept the pulls ups on - Yay! Huge bonus, considering how achey I still was. She came down in her dressing gown for breakfast, after 10am, fussing about needing her hair washed as soon as she came downstairs. By this time, I had a fruit loaf baking in the oven, so after she had brekkie, I asked her to 'just wait' for 15 minutes till it was done, before I came up with her to 'give her a hand', using the usual excuse of her 'dodgy shoulder' as a reason for why I needed to help. Which got me 15 minutes of repeated 'I want to do my hair now', 'Can you come and do my hair now?', 'If you won't help me now I'll go and do it myself!'. Over and over I explained she just needed to hang on till the baking was finished, she would subside for maybe a minute, then start again. She just couldn't retain the info for any longer than that.
When I asked, she refused a full bath, so I settled for giving her a good strip wash and doing her hair. Back downstairs, she went into a loop of every couple of minutes 'Should I get my shoes on now? Where's my coat?' - over and over, I explained we weren't going anywhere, each time got back 'You said I was going to town/school/work/the dance/the races/to collect the children' - and this went on till about 12.00, when she dozed off on the sofa. Grabbing the chance at 5 minutes peace, as I hadn't had a good night with my back, I sat myself on the sofa in the lounge - and I dozed off too
3/4 of an hour later, Mil shook me awake - 'Come on Ann - I need to go home now'. And that was it. Full blown sundowning that lasted till after 7pm last night
I swear I tried everything I could think of to try and calm her, but absolutely nothing worked. She refused point blank to go to her room - and to be honest, the way she was, I felt it was probably better that she was where I could keep an eye on her anyway! She jumped from one accusation after another - sat crying because I'd killed all her brothers and she knew I was just waiting for the chance to kill her too. I was after her money and she stood over me shouting that I wouldn't get a penny because her husband was going to 'come down and sort' me out. Refusing drinks on the usual grounds that I'd laced them with arsenic. I did the 'I'm sorry you feel like that, but I'm not going to discus it again' - so she sat in the dining room wailing at the top of her voice about what her poor Mother would say if she knew what I was doing, and how she hopes someone can hear her and get a message to her parents. I put down a small lunch for her, half expecting her to refuse it, but she tucked in without a word and I thought she might calm down then - she finished eating and headed out into the back garden (garden fully enclosed, so I knew she couldn't get out) - I let her go, just watching her down the steps, as the weather was lovely and she does like the sun. She headed for the swing seat, and I figured maybe she would calm down a bit if she sat there and rocked herself for a while. I pottered about, keeping an eye - and suddenly saw her stood on the opposite side of the garden, ripping twigs/small branches off one of the shrubs and trying to lob them over the fence into next doors! When she picked up one of the doggy's tennis balls and went to lob that too, I called out and asked what she was doing. She was like a kid caught with their hand in the sweetie jar - 'Im just playing' she said! In she headed and back into why was I keeping her prisoner, getting more and more agitated. OH had given her diazapan the day before, and I really didn't want to give it 2 days in a row (I worry about her heart
) so I decided to try and ride it out. For nearly an hour, she sat yelling out that I was keeping her prisoner, had killed her 'sisters', had stolen her children, then - when I came through to offer her a drink - she knew all about me! She knew I was 'in it' with those 3 other men, that I'd killed that man and that I should have gone to prison like the others did (?) and as soon as she got hold of the phone, she would be phoning the police and telling them. I left her to her yelling and went back into the lounge, putting a music channel on the TV and ignorig completely.
All quiet, eventually, for about 15 minutes, and I remembered I had to phone a garage and book the car in for its MOT - we'd forgotten it was due, and can't use the car now till its done! She seemed to be dozing, so I grabbed the phone and nipped out the patio doors to call. I'm busy booking the car in, the doors open - and Mil starts screaming about being kidnapped, shouting 'whoever she is talking to - call the police - she's a murderer too'
Heaven only knows what the poor guy on the phone thought of me trying to explain!
She dropped a tissue at some point and the pup had had a field day with it - swept it up, completely ignoring the chunnered remarks and nasty comments and stupidly left the brush leaning against the wall by the kitchen before going back into the lounge. Next thing, she'd picked it up - and was banging it against the door that leads into the lounge! Not hard -she didn't have the strength - but over and over and over! When she then moved onto the glass patio doors, I marched in, took it off her without a word - and she let loose with a stream of obsenities and curses that would have made a sailor blush! The next stunt was to go over to the computer and start pressing random keys and picking up the mouse and banging it on the worktop - so mouse tucked away out of her reach and pc turned off - honestly, it was exactly like having an extremely badly behaved 2 year old in the house! I managed to stay calm and kind for most of the day, but did snap at her a couple of times - caught myself on a went back to calm, but its so hard when its constant like that, and when you don't know what's coming next
Tea - same as lunch - put it down in front of her (I set up a small tv table) and she went from calling me a 'murdering cow' to (believe it or not) a very polite 'Thank you - this looks nice', all in one breath. After tea, she continued to sit in the lounge till just after 7, keeping up a stream of muttered and shouted insults and accusations. Then she came through to the lounge, sat down and with a smile, asked me what sort of a day I'd had!
After that, she was calm, but repetetive 'I think I'll go to bed now' every 5 minutes, with some very odd delusions/confabulations thrown in, including her suddenly asking 'When you stood up and told the class about the person who talks too much, were you talking about me Ann?' and out of the blues her assuring me that she didn't mind if I reported her and she got expelled! 9 o'clock was extremely welcome last night!
Today, as the car can't go in till Tuesday, I'm stuck with having the mini bus bring her home just after 3pm - and OH on another 12 hour shift, so potentially, a long evening
So I'm just going to get whatever editing I can done today - and brace myself for tonight!
Hope you all manage to have a good day xxxx
