So bizarre !

[2jays]

Ann.....
I hope its OK to post this (sorry Mods, if it is not) ...

I've found a company , ( I have no idea what they are like ) that sells waterproof mattresses.

www.furniture247.co.uk hospital grade waterproof mattresses

(I'm never sure, here on TP if we are allowed to post websites , without really knowing them)

It looks ideal, and wish I had one when my husband were alive.

So long as you don't have an "interest" ie shares or own the company, I understand that it's ok to name them


Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point

 

[Grace L]

Thanks 2jays ...
I'm not connected to company in any way....

I'm sure there are other companies out there that sell the same / similar mattresses.

I think some people might qualify for a 'free one' ....if you can get the right people at SS to agree .

 

[RedLou]

Hi All
I'm pretty sorted now. What isn't going back to the UK (very little is coming) is being chucked or charity shopped. My brother collected Dad's possessions from the nursing home today and I broke down at the sight of his glasses. Couldn't chuck those. Oh, Dadda - why on earth didn't you come home where I could care for you?

Ann - I have never worked out - what is a kylie? I do tend to imagine nubile singers in skimpy shorts when you use this word...

 

[Izzy]

Ann - I have never worked out - what is a kylie? I do tend to imagine nubile singers in skimpy shorts when you use this word...

Nothing so exciting I'm afraid - this is it -

http://www.kyliekanga.co.uk/kylie-bed-pads/

 

[Amy in the US]

RedLou, sometimes an everyday item, like a pair of glasses or a wallet, will be the proverbial last straw. I'm so sorry for your loss and know this isn't an easy time. It's also hard to know what to say, except, I'm sorry and it's hard. Bleah.

On the other hand, your kylie/Kylie question did make me laugh. I saw her recently on the Graham Norton show, which is broadcast here in the States on BBC America. They showed some older photos and yes, those shorts were quite skimpy!

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

Grace - thanks for that link, I'll be saving that for furure reference x At the moment, we have the mattress in an 'encased' cover - the mattress goes inside it, and it zips up at one end, and so far Mil hasn't managed to take that off, so at least the mattress is protected. The trouble is its just plain plastic, and so flipping uncomfortable. I found 'waterproof' Mattress toppers that are like fitted sheets - plastic surface with a cotton overlay and net sides. The cotton stops the plastic on the bed being too uncomfortble, but Mil has on several occasions tried to take them off when the bed has been wet - yesterday this resulted in her ripping (actually, shredding is nearer the mark) the net sides of the topper But, at least the mattress remained dry, I just had to wipe down the plastic encased cover. The drawback with the toppers, although they protect the mattress and keep her comfortable, is that once wet, they have to be washed - and can't be tumbled. They take ages to dry on the line and if its raining, it takes even longer over the radiators. Which is why I need at least 3 of them, so I can be sure I always have one ready to use.

{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} Red - sometimes its the smallest things that hammer home the hurt I'm so sorry hun, and wish I had something more helpful than sympathy and hugs to send xxxx

Lol over the kylies - I've never thought to wonder why they are called that! The beauty of kylies is that they draw in the moisture and so limit the urines contact with the skin - and Mils skin is so fragile! However, they are also horrible to get dry when washed and as Mil so often floods to the extent that the wet patch more than exceeds the size of the kylie, not sure how much use they are to us at the moment

Last night I persuaded her into netties (which, in case anyone doesn't know, are a sort of net/nylon pants that look like tight fitting boxers and which you can insert large pads into - the stretchy material holds the pad snuggly in place). I have my doubts about them, as I think if she goes to the loo, the pad will dislodge as she pulls the pants up and down and she wont think/won't be able to reposition it properly - we'll see!

We had a really good evening with Mil, last night. She chattered on and we had some surprising confabulations - including her commenting about OH that I had 'done a good job, bringing him up', then explaining that I had 'reared him' not her, as she wasn't married when she had him so had to give him to me! Heaven only knows where that came from! And we had the usual looking for this, that and the other non existant items and chores she thought had to be done, But up till 8.30, no upset or agitation and even then it was just a brief 15/20 minutes when she asked repeatedly if we would take her home and asked if she could phone her Mum. She accepted OH reminding her she lived here, and when asked to think about what had happened to her Mum, shrugged it off with a brief 'Oh - she died'. And that was it. Such a massive contrast to the other night - but a very welcome break!

Right - off to feed the feathered friends in the garden, before dragging youngest out of bed for school - have a good day, everyone xxx

 

[Izzy]

Sorry to but in but I bought this product recently instead of a Kylie. It seems to be very good. It can go in the tumble dryer.

http://www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/...pad-85x90cm-without-tuck-in-flaps-3000ml.html

 

[Ann Mac]

Sorry to but in but I bought this product recently instead of a Kylie. It seems to be very good. It can go in the tumble dryer.

http://www.ageukincontinence.co.uk/...pad-85x90cm-without-tuck-in-flaps-3000ml.html

Thanks Izzy - something that can be tumbled dry would be a massive bonus! I'll be ordering a couple of them, I think - cheers xxx

Edited to add - they are a lot cheaper than the kylies too!

 

[Izzy]

Thanks Izzy - something that can be tumbled dry would be a massive bonus! I'll be ordering a couple of them, I think - cheers xxx

Edited to add - they are a lot cheaper than the kylies too!

Yes they are. I have changed Bill twice through the night but the bed was dry!

I have just checked the label. There is one dot inside the tumble dry sign which means low temperature tumble dry.

 

[RedLou]

Thanks Izzy - something that can be tumbled dry would be a massive bonus! I'll be ordering a couple of them, I think - cheers xxx

Edited to add - they are a lot cheaper than the kylies too!

Kylie always did strike me as high maintenance.

Brother gave his opinion last night that enough money thrown at the problem would have meant D could have remained at home. He was criticising Dad, not me, but the old guilt monster flared. Could I have got 24-hour rotating care in, managed them from 1000 miles away, shopped online, etc etc? -- I think it would have fallen down at the first no-show, refusal to take meds, etc etc. But should I have tried despite what the doctors said?…

I tell you something - I think we all have an absolute duty to discuss our own care arrangements with our children well in advance.

 

[Cat27]

Kylie always did strike me as high maintenance.

Brother gave his opinion last night that enough money thrown at the problem would have meant D could have remained at home. He was criticising Dad, not me, but the old guilt monster flared. Could I have got 24-hour rotating care in, managed them from 1000 miles away, shopped online, etc etc? -- I think it would have fallen down at the first no-show, refusal to take meds, etc etc. But should I have tried despite what the doctors said?…

I tell you something - I think we all have an absolute duty to discuss our own care arrangements with our children well in advance.

You could not have done any more! You were at breaking point & you did what was best for your dad.
Ignore your brother.

 

[Ann Mac]

Low temp or not, Izzy, being able to tumble makes a big difference

Red, believe me - you did the absolute best you could under horrendously difficult circumstances. I would hesitate to go down the route of setting up 24 hour care in a persons own home if I only lived a mile away - the work involved in maintaining a set up like that, and having to deal with the unavoidable 'issues' - like staff being ill last minute, the caree developing a medical issue or behavioural issue - would be more of a headache than what I'm doing now, I think. To manage something like that, long distance, would be pretty much impossible, and carried a far higher risk for your Dad, than the route you had to go down. Please don't beat yourself up - you did, and are continuing to do, brilliantly xxxx

Soaking bed followed by confabulation central here today Again, pillows used to cover wet patch - but at least today she left the waterproof cases on so I don't have the actual pillows to wash. A problem may be rearing its head in that this morning she was insistant that she never had any problems with bed wetting till she started using those 'stupid pad things' - and she thinks it might be better if she doesn't bother at all in future.

Confabulation wise - stories about the day she spent in town yesterday, about the little puppy that she found in the canal when walking last week, about her brother turning up at her job yesterday and telling off the supervisor for making Mil work too hard, about how the 'matron' had made the dressing on her hand (she has a small skin tear that she will keep picking at!) from an eggbox, about how she was hula hooping in the park when they went to the fair on Saturday and about exactly what she said to the hairdresser to make her cut her hair 'properly'! In her head at least, she leads an awfully full life!

 

[jugglingmum]

redlou - hope you are OK. Your dad was at the stage where he probably wasn't happy anywhere. One of the things with dementia, is what we as 'normal' people want for our loved ones is not what makes them happy, so we have to look at what makes them happy. EG I feel guilty for not taking my mum out on trips, but I also know she doesn't have the concentration for them and she would find the effort too much, so it wouldn't be the right thing anyway.

Kylie - I have to say that I've always thought of the singer everytime I see it mentioned. My OH loves those shorts and the NaNaNeNa video! I was a student when Neighbours had Kylie and Jason in it and if I missed the morning episode (with a 9 o'clock lecture) I would go to the student union at lunch time(with lots of others to catch up).

I know that a big chunk of my caring time is taken up with paperwork etc, and feel terrible that I often spend a lot more time on that than seeing mum, but with work/family life I can't spare any more time, but the amount of time I take on it is frustrating.

This may interest some - a link to a video (taken by a Dutch dad - with loud music) of my daughter at a recent race in Preston (she's in London this weekend). This is what takes my time up - the training and the races. This was a 22mile race, average speed 22mph and max speed 37mph. Daughter is near the front for most of the race.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2skst9_nwyt-2015-youth-b-girls-preston-24-05-2015_sport?start=2

 

[Onlyme]

To be honest I would love Mum obsess about various things like brothers and working too hard. At the moment I'm still having problems with her fixation on dead people, the latest was when I made dinner did I cook dead people for a long time?

I'm beginning to feel like an extra on The Sixth Sense.

 

[Spamar]

Red, no guilt feelings! You could not have done more.

Thank god wet beds are a problem for the care home now!

JM, we've got the women's tour of Britain coming very near us in a couple of weeks, a reverse track around our way of the men's tour three (?) years ago. I am definately going to go and have a look. Don't think I'll go to the finish line, too many cars, not enough parking! For the men's tour I was amazed at how many people turned out, practically everyone I knew went. I can't even ride a bike now, not that I've ever done much, lost my balance!

I don't know what's happened, but yesterday and today I feel a lot better. Two people have also offered to help with anything I want, wow! Though they were both there for me when OH was at home, it seems different now.

Good luck to you all! Enjoy this lovely weather!

 

[Ann Mac]

Good grief, JM - I'm shattered just watching that race - really impressive though! OH cycles regularly, though he doesn't really race, apart from doing the Great Manchester Cycle race once or twice. His idea of a nice day out is cycling about 50 - 70 miles - not sure if he reaches the sort of speed those ladies did though! I adnit, I love photographing events like that - I've photographed Etape Cymru a couple of times now, such a fantastic atmosphere and every emotion of the event shows on the riders faces.

To be honest I would love Mum obsess about various things like brothers and working too hard. At the moment I'm still having problems with her fixation on dead people, the latest was when I made dinner did I cook dead people for a long time?

I'm beginning to feel like an extra on The Sixth Sense.

Well - go on then - how long DID you cook them for

Cutting down on the police/crime thrillers on the telly has reduced the number of corpses around our house, Lemony - though I still get most of the blame for 'probably' killing the missing children, according to Mil!

I'm so glad to hear how much better you are feeling, Spamar - does me good to read that

Busy here this morning, but its been nice Got a big wedding on Saturday - well, a sort of wedding, long story short, we were booked to photograph it for November, but then Brides Mum became seriously ill, and it had to be cancelled. Things were bad enogh that the couple got married in a very small, private ceremony, with no trimmings, just in case - but 'Mum' has made a brilliant recovery and the couple are having a blessing ceremony, with all the trimmings of a wedding this weekend Its going to be an exceptionally joyful day, I think and I'm so thrilled that they want us to do their photographs. Anyway, I decided to treat myself to a new outfit for the day and have bought myself a really nice new maxi dress - I like to look 'smart' at weddings, and maxi-dresses are ideal - cover the lumps and bumps, and I can bend, climb, stoop and crouch to get the shots I want without everyone in a 5 mile radious having to scream 'Say no to crack' I've also bought shoes - always a dodgy process for me, as due to the joint problems often shoes are a problem - and they seem (so far) to be OK - mind you, have also stocked up on moleskin pads, just in case! While I was feeling extravagant, I've also bought nail polish, hair dye and invested in some new 'props' because this couple are giving us a lot of time for the photographs and both they and the location are gorgeous and I am bursting with ideas. Then I heard back from the last bride who has just viewed her images on the website, and the feedback just couldn't have been better - so its been a really nice day, complete with sunshine

 

[jugglingmum]

Ann - glad your photo work is going well, hope OH copes when he has to look after his mum on his own. With Old Red think he has done bare minimum recently, or maybe it's just my OH spending so much time on Big Red. Daughter didn't notice on Tuesday that he was working away and commented she just assumed he was working on Big Red.

I don't know if you've tried but with sportives like Etape Cymru you can often manage to sell a few photos if you can get your link in the right place and the watermarked photos seen (of course some watermarked photos still get nicked).

Ladies made me smile - well they are 12,13 and 14 (2001 and 2002 years) with the long hair that is conformity in that age group at the moment. We watched the Tour Series last night and the girl that came 4th we know as she is 4 years older than my daughter. Nice seeing riders on TV you know.

Onlyme - that is truly bizzare - but made me wonder if it is getting people and animals muddled up?

Sparmar - so glad to hear you are feeling better and that people are remembering you need help as well.

 

[Essie]

So pleased to hear you are feeling better Spamar, that is such good news, likewise the offers of help, pleased for you.

 

[Ann Mac]

Morning all,

Yep - definitely more time on Old Red than on anything else for OH, JM - its OK if Mil is reasonably calm, but last night she was quite agitated and a bit of a handful. He took her out to sit in the van whilst he worked, but after tea, she was back in the house again and it was hard work - not horrendously hard, just one of those evenings where it felt like it was a waste of time answering any of the constant repeated questions, because she just couldn't take on board anything said to her and I was left with ringing ears

She started with the 'baby' as soon as she was through the door from day care - where was it, should she fetch it, didn't it need its feed? She went up to the loo, and came down having changed into baggy grey shorts, teamed with a silk stripped shirt, telling me she was 'going out', so could she phone that man she is going to stay with? Nope, didn't know his name, or where he was, or his phone number, or even how she knew him but I apparently should know exactly who she was talking about because he invited her in front of me - so could I ring him for her please, as she wanted to ask him did he fancy a night out?. Again and again I explained that I couldn't ring anyone for her if I didn't have the number and she just couldn't grasp it - she kept saying "You just have to push the numbers on the phone" Then she announced he was a relative of P**** (one of the Irish nephews who rings her every now and again) and that this man had spoken to her when she was at P*****'s house 'last week'. And suddenly, Oh God - she had to get back to P***'s house now, to get the baby - what baby, I asked? 'Well, mine of course" - at this point OH walked through the door and that's how she ended up sitting in the van with him for an hour whilst I got on with cooking!

After tea, he asked her to come out with him again, but she said no - he said he would just 'tidy up and come in' - yeah, must have been one hell of a mess, because I didn't see him again till after 8.30 Meanwhile, Mil jumped from 'baby' to 'little girl' to 'going home' to 'going out with the man' to (from 8pm till 9) 'I'm going to bed now' every 2 minutes. I can feel yet another 'Come to Jesus' talk coming on with OH!

The netties being a complete failure, I talked her into the extra super absorbent pull ups last night - she kept telling me that they 'don't work', but put them on - hoping now that they (a) stayed on and (b) were 'super absorbent' enough!

Plan today is housework, sorting camera gear (making sure batteries are charged and all my kit is nice and dust free) and a brief run into town to look for a suitable bag to carry stuff in at weddings - need some sort of a satchel with lots of pockets - I tend to carry things like tissues, blister plasters, spare confetti and odd props that I'll use to set up shots, and there just isn't room in the camera bag for them all.

Hope you all have as good a day as possible xxxxx

 

[RedLou]

Morning all.
Jm - you must be so proud of her. Spamar - ditto on the pleased for you emotion.
Ann - whether he knows it or not, OH is using Old Red as a barrier to place between himself and dementia. And he can even rationalise it and say he's doing it for you - all those nice breaks you're going to have! Would it work to give him set times he's allowed to work on it - including the 'tidying up?' IE x hours a week and if she's bad you have the right to give him a quick shake of the head and he stays put. Tell him there's absolutely no point him renovating her if at the end of it you're simply going to reverse it over him and claim the insurance.
Last day out here, today. Hope flights are on time. We are back late and brother cross with me that I booked for Luton (local airport) and not Gatwick (earlier flight) with a view to schlepping across London. Last thing I need is him being grumpy while we're stranded at an airport. Wish me luck, Bizarrites.
xx