Oh thanks to you both! I can’t tell you the gift this was on waking just now. Brought soft, warm memories of laying my younger son to rest 15 years ago. The moon was a big thing in our shared lives. A million thanks! @Spamar @Izzy. And took me away for a blessed few minutes from renovations and OHs recurrent rash (a blood cancer; no cure; cream three times a day; direct sunlight on affected skin at least 10 mins per day ... ). But all forgotten as I read the words and listened to the music. C. xxxxx
So bizarre !
- Thread starter Ann Mac
- Start date
@carolynp wish I was could be there for you. You are a true jewel. I am there for you in spirit. We all are.
Oh
Oh @imsoblue that is so, so sweet of you. A million thanks. I promise to be back on radar properly soonest! I know you are all here for me as I try to be for you too.
In fact sometimes I think there is a special quality about this online circle of love, which we can each post on when our lives permit, that in day to day life, in person, might lose something of its magic. Even meeting someone for coffee is a struggle, let alone the in depth conversations we are free to have 24/7!!!
Have been keeping up with your awful drama, it just gets more impossible by the minute. How are you feeling right now?
We have packers coming to store books and furniture while front half of house is painted. OH very disrupted keeps asking what is going ON and telling me his latest health concerns.
I am stress eating like mad!
Oh @imsoblue that is so, so sweet of you. A million thanks. I promise to be back on radar properly soonest! I know you are all here for me as I try to be for you too.
In fact sometimes I think there is a special quality about this online circle of love, which we can each post on when our lives permit, that in day to day life, in person, might lose something of its magic. Even meeting someone for coffee is a struggle, let alone the in depth conversations we are free to have 24/7!!!
Have been keeping up with your awful drama, it just gets more impossible by the minute. How are you feeling right now?
We have packers coming to store books and furniture while front half of house is painted. OH very disrupted keeps asking what is going ON and telling me his latest health concerns.
I am stress eating like mad!
Afternoon all,
Ann, I do hope that Patch's problems can be sorted, without costing a lot more money, I know how vet bills can mount up!
Carolyn, it is good to see you again and I hope you soon have your home as you want it, with minimal upheaval.
It seems it was a certain 'John Lydgate', way back in the 15th century, who first wrote that 'comparison is odious' and this certainly holds true when we measure ourselves against others and think we are wanting. The problem is that we will look at 'Bill' and say @oh, he is so good at such and such', then we will look at Jane and say 'She is marvellous at so and so' - but we look only at their strengths and compare them with our weaknesses!
Likewise, regretting the past (whilst understandable) is a total waste of time and energy. All we can do is make heartfelt apologies (if needed) and try to do things differently in future.
My OH still doesn't value my precious things. He and son with blithely break, or damage, something that I hold dear with nothing other than a shrug of the shouldersOf course, it is good that they are not madly acquisitive but it does hurt that they don't care. Oh is particularly bad at clearing up if he has dropped something or made a mess - he would likely cause something like the coke stain and not give it a second thought!
As for the X-Ray situation, the hold up seems to be with getting the images read and reported. The lady at the hospital said they are told to keep telling the patients 5-7 days, I guess this means that they don't have to deal with irate patients, the GPs carry the brunt of that!
It looks to be a nice day here, so I think we will go for a short stroll (it has to be short, that is all either of us can manage!) and coffee
Hi @Slugsta and thanks so much for your message! The packers are here, to take away 53 linear metres of books and assorted furniture items so the painters can work, either next week or the week after, fingers proverbially crossed! I’ve been stress eating since the internet stopped working at 8 am and am writing this in the yard holding the phone up. Outages all across Australia apparently! You’d think even Telstra would find that hard to achieve, given the distances involved, but clearly not.
So at that point when the landline went down too, the frozen croissant supply got raided and then I remembered the jar of Nutella in the cupboard, intended to remedy OHs astounding weight loss, not add to mine!!!
You are absolutely right about not making comparisons! I only seem to do it when I am already feeling low, and it’s then that the destructive thought patterns get a hold and have their way with me. I’ll be 70 in a few weeks, high time for this to stop.
I mentioned the packers because I was amused at you saying re OH and son that at least they are not attached to material goods!!! (As they wend their damaging way through the house and your things.). Right now I wouldn’t care if I never saw any of this stuff again, not even the books, and the thought that at some stage it’s all going to reappear and have to be put away again is daunting. Maybe I can bribe them to lose it???
Thanks again for thinking of me. Good luck with everything. Love C.
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@Grahamstown thank you so much for your wise and sensible words. The travel thing seems to be as you say, for everyone, at least in the posts I’ve read on the subject. That is, the change is nice, the new sights and different air, but the difficulties of dealing with the PWD are only exacerbated in unfamiliar surroundings. So it seems to be one of those mixed situations, glass half full or half empty.
My only achievement under the Travel Notes category was that, on boarding plane each way to Sydney, I alerted cabin crew to OH having dementia and needing perhaps extra help. This was a roaring success. I’d read online under travel tips that they are trained to handle PWDs - and they were simply wonderful with OH: kind, thoughtful, cheery - but that they need to know by being advised as you board. As we all know, it is very hard otherwise to tell from a superficial impression whether or not the person has dementia. We all know this from the assurances of friends and relations about how wonderfully our PWD is in fact managing!!!
OH and I have Hong Kong in July and Sydney again in November so I am just going to have to pull myself together, enjoy the loving support of son and his partner, who are coming to HK and who will be in Sydney, of course, as it’s their home - and not mind being told how well OH is doing! Meanwhile I rejoice that your OH while obviously confused and a bigger handful for you, especially with the availability of alcohol at dinner, is tolerating and even enjoying the change. And I admire you so much for being so stalwart in the face of all this, and so philosophical even when you have to forego a special outing. You are a role model for me!
Thanks too for your encouragement re the mini renovations. It’s almost too much. But my own thoughts, plus yours, help me to see that if I don’t do them now, in a few years they’ll be beyond me, and it would be a shame to look back and regret inaction, even if we don’t get much more time in this house.
I think your cruise must be drawing to its close. Wonderful you’ve kept a photographic record - for your own sake, too. It’s hard to focus on one’s own needs, let alone pleasures, when the OH has to have priority. I’d been a bit preoccupied by my own forgetfulness, even though I was pretty sure it was fallout from looking after my OH, until our son was here. I noticed even he after a couple of days’ exposure was starting to make verbal slips and forget what he was saying. So ironically I felt a bit better!
Good luck for the return journey and above all WELL DONE!! Wolf howls to you. Love C. xxxxx
Morning everyone,
Spamar, I've never come across the Seal Lullaby before - its beautiful x Thanks to you and Izzy for sharing the words and music xxx I hope you are feeling OK now, sending {{{{{hugs}}}}}
JM - all your days sound so busy to me - I don't know where you get the energy! Glad you managed to fit in some enjoyable tv and a nap xxx
Carolyn, I hope all goes smoothly with the packers, and that your OH doesn't get too stressed xxxxx
I also managed to avoid the 'wedding' Slugsta - no idea what the dress was like, or about anything else - and not bothered either, as its not something that would interest me. No geese at 'The Moss' - which is where son, his GF and I went for a wander yesterday. But we spotted a half grown family of 5 mallards (all girls), a quartet of young moorhens - and a very proud mama duck paddling round with 8 adorable balls of fluff trailing behind her - they can't have been more than a day or two old. We stopped off at the pet shop on the way, to buy suitable food - bread being no longer acceptable - and spent a very pleasant hour or so strolling round the lake, feeding the birds and cooing over the babies. We then had a very chilled rest of the day, sitting in he garden and enjoying the beautiful weather. Bert the tortoise joined us outside, and Seamus - my youngest dog - was completely freaked out by him, just hadn't a clue what to make of him at all. We persuaded the dogs into the house for a short while, so Bert could come out of his travel crate, have a wander and feast on geranium leaves from the garden, and dandelion leaves and fowers picked from the field just outside our back gate - I swear if a tortoise could smile, Bert would have been grining from ear to ear!
Patch seems to be comfortable and yesterday the effects of Fridays anaesthetic had worn off and he was behaving in his usual laid back, happy, placid manner. But he has lost weight due to the recurring tummy upsets and both son and his GF are worried sick, waiting for the biopsy results There is a 'thickening' in his intestine apparently, and what was described to them as a 'small polyp' in his stomach - its that which has been biopsied. He has been put on a special protein free very bland diet - which is also costing a fortune - and is eating well. However, he is also being frequently sick, so there is something obviously still wrong, aside from the identified kidney problems (which the vet have said are down to his age, can be controlled quite easily, and are not causing the bouts of sickness). Son is realistic about Patch's care, and knows that the old boy must not be allowed to suffer - his lovely GF doesn't want to consider the worst, but I know if it comes to it, she will do the right thing by Patch too.
Son didn't go and see Mil, though we had a long chat about her, where I reassured him that she was being well looked after. With hindsight, I can see that he had been upset by seeing her on the last 2 or 3 occasions he has been down, when we talked his relief at not feeling that he should go was obvious and I'm glad I spoke to him and let him know it was OK not to visit her. With the best will in the world, I can't make things any better for Mil now - but I can ease the upset for the kids, by letting them know its OK not to visit if they don't want to.
Got two really heavy and long days scheduled in work this week, plus am owed at least 4 or 5 hours from last week - that being the case, I am only working a half day today, and if tomorrows' trip to Manchester makes for as long a day as I anticipate, it will be a short day on Wednesday as well. It will mean that the admin suffers, but tough! My lovely Friday group raised enough on their sponsored walk last week, to pay for their end of project trip to the zoo this week, plus they raised over £100 for Becky's fund (the young lady from my group who sadly passed away, leaving a baby daughter behind) - I am so proud of them. But the zoo day is going to mean another long day, and once I get back from that, I then have a drumming workshop with another group. I've done a couple of these workshops now, and they are just fantastic, but very intense - I am so looking forward to next weeks long BH weekend, I think I am going to need it !
Hope you all get the chance to enjoy the current lovely weather, and reals, even if only for a little while. Take care, everyone xxxxx
Spamar, I've never come across the Seal Lullaby before - its beautiful x Thanks to you and Izzy for sharing the words and music xxx I hope you are feeling OK now, sending {{{{{hugs}}}}}
JM - all your days sound so busy to me - I don't know where you get the energy! Glad you managed to fit in some enjoyable tv and a nap xxx
Carolyn, I hope all goes smoothly with the packers, and that your OH doesn't get too stressed xxxxx
I also managed to avoid the 'wedding' Slugsta - no idea what the dress was like, or about anything else - and not bothered either, as its not something that would interest me. No geese at 'The Moss' - which is where son, his GF and I went for a wander yesterday. But we spotted a half grown family of 5 mallards (all girls), a quartet of young moorhens - and a very proud mama duck paddling round with 8 adorable balls of fluff trailing behind her - they can't have been more than a day or two old. We stopped off at the pet shop on the way, to buy suitable food - bread being no longer acceptable - and spent a very pleasant hour or so strolling round the lake, feeding the birds and cooing over the babies. We then had a very chilled rest of the day, sitting in he garden and enjoying the beautiful weather. Bert the tortoise joined us outside, and Seamus - my youngest dog - was completely freaked out by him, just hadn't a clue what to make of him at all. We persuaded the dogs into the house for a short while, so Bert could come out of his travel crate, have a wander and feast on geranium leaves from the garden, and dandelion leaves and fowers picked from the field just outside our back gate - I swear if a tortoise could smile, Bert would have been grining from ear to ear!
Patch seems to be comfortable and yesterday the effects of Fridays anaesthetic had worn off and he was behaving in his usual laid back, happy, placid manner. But he has lost weight due to the recurring tummy upsets and both son and his GF are worried sick, waiting for the biopsy results
There is a 'thickening' in his intestine apparently, and what was described to them as a 'small polyp' in his stomach - its that which has been biopsied. He has been put on a special protein free very bland diet - which is also costing a fortune - and is eating well. However, he is also being frequently sick, so there is something obviously still wrong, aside from the identified kidney problems (which the vet have said are down to his age, can be controlled quite easily, and are not causing the bouts of sickness). Son is realistic about Patch's care, and knows that the old boy must not be allowed to suffer - his lovely GF doesn't want to consider the worst, but I know if it comes to it, she will do the right thing by Patch too. Son didn't go and see Mil, though we had a long chat about her, where I reassured him that she was being well looked after. With hindsight, I can see that he had been upset by seeing her on the last 2 or 3 occasions he has been down, when we talked his relief at not feeling that he should go was obvious and I'm glad I spoke to him and let him know it was OK not to visit her. With the best will in the world, I can't make things any better for Mil now - but I can ease the upset for the kids, by letting them know its OK not to visit if they don't want to.
Got two really heavy and long days scheduled in work this week, plus am owed at least 4 or 5 hours from last week - that being the case, I am only working a half day today, and if tomorrows' trip to Manchester makes for as long a day as I anticipate, it will be a short day on Wednesday as well. It will mean that the admin suffers, but tough! My lovely Friday group raised enough on their sponsored walk last week, to pay for their end of project trip to the zoo this week, plus they raised over £100 for Becky's fund (the young lady from my group who sadly passed away, leaving a baby daughter behind) - I am so proud of them. But the zoo day is going to mean another long day, and once I get back from that, I then have a drumming workshop with another group. I've done a couple of these workshops now, and they are just fantastic, but very intense - I am so looking forward to next weeks long BH weekend, I think I am going to need it !
Hope you all get the chance to enjoy the current lovely weather, and reals, even if only for a little while. Take care, everyone xxxxx
H
Hello dear @Ann Mac and thank you SO much for your wise words! It is so true what you say, my default position when stressed is always to blame myself, and even friends, never mind therapists, have told me I am inclined (to put it mildly!) to be too hard on myself. As I’ve posted elsewhere today (though even I cannot remember which thread), I’m coming up to seventy in a few weeks (writing those words doesn’t make it seem any the less impossible, as a prospect) and it is time to stop this nonsense forthwith. Fighting words!
Your birds are so beautiful! They are so uplifting to the spirits, even just to look at. We had more of the mad black cockatoos today. I’ll try and upload a photo if I can. Conservationists say it’s because they’re losing their traditional grazing grounds, with suburban redevelopment nearby - and that’s why we’re seeing more of them - but I’m not sure that’s it, as we used always to have them biking around like crazy, whole branches dropping from above (very strong beaks!). Down at the campus, there’s a pine tree they love, and when the nuts are ripe, the ground staff have to fence it off, because the pine cones come hurtling down and can cause concussion.
Thanks too for fellow feeling re Italy. Son does tend to try it on a bit, as though, if he suggests something often enough, eventually I’ll see the wisdom of it. A touch of the dripping tap technique that we’re all familiar with from teenage years! Well now he’s far from that stage, 42 in November dare I say it, and I just have to keep my cool and not weaken. I also want to make clear, when I get the chance, that I have absolutely NO objection to him and his partner taking OH anywhere they want, for as long as they want! I won’t mind, I shall assure him!
I am so sorry re your trials and I do hope Patch recovers. Pets do work their way into our hearts, don’t they. So hard when they get old, even though I know they take no thought for the morrow, and that it’s we who feel the anticipatory grief (and eventually the all-too-real grief).
The packers took three hours. Three people working flat out. I never want to see ANY of the stuff again! I’m pretty determined not to bring it all back in once the painters are done. It’s such a golden opportunity to “move house” without actually doing so, and have a proper clear out. One of the guys, commenting on the dust behind the bookcases, asked How long have you lived here?! When I answered we’d been here since 1980,he said, Oh, that explains it! Once I’d have been so mortified to think he thought nothing had been cleaned in 38 years, now I just let it roll over me.
Lots of love and thanks too for your very welcoming approach to guests on your thread! It is such a safe haven!
C. XXXXX
Morning everyone,
Carolyn, so nice to see you 'here' again. Can I say - and meant in the nicest way - that I think that you are being hard on yourself, hun? Major works and improvements in the home are stressful no matter what - but when you add in caring for a pwd at the same time, it takes it to a whole new level! When we had our extention built, the builders told us it would take about 12 - 14 weeks. And it did - only those weeks were not consecutive weeks, or even days. They might turn up for 5 days one week, then just 2 the next. Or we might not see them for a whole week. Add up the days they were here and working for, and yep - it came to about 12 weeks to get the job done - but those 12 weeks were spread over about 8 months! I remember it driving me crazy with frustration and stress. I have absolutely no idea how I would have coped if I had been looking after Mil 24/7 at the same time! So give yourself a break, my love - you are doing really well under difficult circumstances, please try and remember that xxxx
Oh - and I would have also felt betrayed over the Italy business - sometimes, the most well meaning of people can get it so wrong, not realising the problems that it can cause the carers. I hope your sons mention of the holiday to your OH doesn't cause any repercussions - Mil had an unholy trick of remembering the very things said to her, by others, that we would have preferred her to forget - I hope it doesn't work out like that for you xxxx
70smad, welcome to the parents club for dealing with typical teen tantrums, lol! Isn't it just maddening? One of the harder things when Mil lived here particularly, was trying to balance caring for her with being 'fair' to my youngest. On balance, I too think youngest missed out and I feel guilty about it. At the same time, if I hadn't tried so hard to care for Mil, and keep her here with me, I woud have felt guilty over that. Its a no win situation, isn't it?
Slugsta, my OH is also pretty careless with 'things' that matter to me on occasion. And it does hurt - though after he blithely cut my cherry tree down, the tree I used to hang bird feeders on and which I used as a fab backdrop for a lot of my photographs, and the way I just totally lost it afterwards, he is a little more careful these days. The hospitals way of passing on blame to the GP is very underhand - but sadly, very typical I think, these days
Hiya Amy - lovely to see you too xxxxxx I am pretty OK with telling the kids to stop the visits if they want. If Mil realised, if them not going hurt or upset her, it would be different. But though she occasionally mentions their names, she really doesn't have a clue who they really are, the links she once had to them are now lost for her, so to me, It makes no sense for them to make themselves go see her if it upsets them. It's heartbreakingly sad, but better for them - and makes no difference to Mil xxxx
Another phone call from the home yesterday, another day of extreme agitation, and another episode of her falling and the possibility/probability that she threw herself to the floor. Again, no injury (thank God) but sooner or later she will hurt herself, perhaps badly. UTI still being queried, but she has no temp, no indicators other than behaviour (and even that is not particularly indicative - she can be like this and have no UTI).
Son is here, and Patch - though better - is cleary not well . The xray revealed a 'mass' and a biopsy has been done
We had a lovely afternoon in the back garden, and were very entertained by one of the robins bathing in the garden pond - it was only a few feet away for us, not a bit shy - the robins are getting bolder and bolder about getting close to us!
View attachment 59079
View attachment 59080
Then we headed to the beach early evening, for a fish and chips tea and a wander around. @Spamar we found lots of jelly like lumps on the beach, and I have no idea what they are? Do you know?
View attachment 59081
Very strange looking!
It was lovely there - warm and relaxing, lots of cormorants, and we also saw a seagull catching (and managing to eat) the most enormous crab! And believe me, the crab put up a fight! I haven't been able to make the time to check all the shots yet, but looking on the camera, I have a couple where the crab is raising up on its rear legs, claws snapping at the seagulls head as it the bird tries to grab hold of it! A bit grusome I know - but sometimes, nature is like that, I guess.
This morning, son, his GF and I are off to nearby Moss Valley, to admire the ducklings, and baby coots and moorhens. Then a family roast, this afternoon, before they have to head back home. Still - a flying visit is better than none at all!
Hope you are all getting the same gorgeous weather as I am, and are having a lovely weekend - love to all, as always xxxxx
Hello dear @Ann Mac and thank you SO much for your wise words! It is so true what you say, my default position when stressed is always to blame myself, and even friends, never mind therapists, have told me I am inclined (to put it mildly!) to be too hard on myself. As I’ve posted elsewhere today (though even I cannot remember which thread), I’m coming up to seventy in a few weeks (writing those words doesn’t make it seem any the less impossible, as a prospect) and it is time to stop this nonsense forthwith. Fighting words!
Your birds are so beautiful! They are so uplifting to the spirits, even just to look at. We had more of the mad black cockatoos today. I’ll try and upload a photo if I can. Conservationists say it’s because they’re losing their traditional grazing grounds, with suburban redevelopment nearby - and that’s why we’re seeing more of them - but I’m not sure that’s it, as we used always to have them biking around like crazy, whole branches dropping from above (very strong beaks!). Down at the campus, there’s a pine tree they love, and when the nuts are ripe, the ground staff have to fence it off, because the pine cones come hurtling down and can cause concussion.
Thanks too for fellow feeling re Italy. Son does tend to try it on a bit, as though, if he suggests something often enough, eventually I’ll see the wisdom of it. A touch of the dripping tap technique that we’re all familiar with from teenage years! Well now he’s far from that stage, 42 in November dare I say it, and I just have to keep my cool and not weaken. I also want to make clear, when I get the chance, that I have absolutely NO objection to him and his partner taking OH anywhere they want, for as long as they want! I won’t mind, I shall assure him!
I am so sorry re your trials and I do hope Patch recovers. Pets do work their way into our hearts, don’t they. So hard when they get old, even though I know they take no thought for the morrow, and that it’s we who feel the anticipatory grief (and eventually the all-too-real grief).
The packers took three hours. Three people working flat out. I never want to see ANY of the stuff again! I’m pretty determined not to bring it all back in once the painters are done. It’s such a golden opportunity to “move house” without actually doing so, and have a proper clear out. One of the guys, commenting on the dust behind the bookcases, asked How long have you lived here?! When I answered we’d been here since 1980,he said, Oh, that explains it! Once I’d have been so mortified to think he thought nothing had been cleaned in 38 years, now I just let it roll over me.
Lots of love and thanks too for your very welcoming approach to guests on your thread! It is such a safe haven!
C. XXXXX
Morning all,
Does anyone dust behind bookshelves?? We don't have many books these days, OH uses his kindle a lot and re regularly take 'proper' books to charity shops (or give them to friends), so that keeps the number down - almost into single figures.
Carolyn, it is fascinating to hear about your native wildlife. So different from ours in appearance but sharing many behavioural traits I think you are 100% right to take this opportunity to decide what you do, and do not, want back when the work on the house is finished. We had to be pretty brutal when we moved here last year as we lost so much storage space.
Spamar, thank you for that poem, and for the musical setting. Like you, I wasn't sure if it was talking about sleep or death, it could answer for both.
Ann, I am glad that you were able to talk with your son about visiting MIL, or not as the case may be. If it distresses the 'kids' and doesn't help MIL in any way, it seems to be the best course of action/inaction.
It is in the nature of women in general, and mothers in particular, to see ourselves as lacking when we look back. However, if we did the best we could, with what we had available*, at the time then we have nothing for which to reproach ourselves.
I am so glad that Patch is doing well - and how lovely that Bert gets to travel with his family Skycat remains well but we know that could change at any time. I am trying to simply enjoy every day with her and not worry about tomorrow (but that has always been hard for me ).
It is another lovely day here, what a joy to leave off the boots, socks and jumpers! I bought a(nother) pair of shoes from Pavers on Friday, they will go nicely with today's skirt and top
(((hugs))) to all
* Money, time, patience, whatever
Does anyone dust behind bookshelves??
We don't have many books these days, OH uses his kindle a lot and re regularly take 'proper' books to charity shops (or give them to friends), so that keeps the number down - almost into single figures.Carolyn, it is fascinating to hear about your native wildlife. So different from ours in appearance but sharing many behavioural traits
I think you are 100% right to take this opportunity to decide what you do, and do not, want back when the work on the house is finished. We had to be pretty brutal when we moved here last year as we lost so much storage space.Spamar, thank you for that poem, and for the musical setting. Like you, I wasn't sure if it was talking about sleep or death, it could answer for both.
Ann, I am glad that you were able to talk with your son about visiting MIL, or not as the case may be. If it distresses the 'kids' and doesn't help MIL in any way, it seems to be the best course of action/inaction.
It is in the nature of women in general, and mothers in particular, to see ourselves as lacking when we look back. However, if we did the best we could, with what we had available*, at the time then we have nothing for which to reproach ourselves.
I am so glad that Patch is doing well - and how lovely that Bert gets to travel with his family
Skycat remains well but we know that could change at any time. I am trying to simply enjoy every day with her and not worry about tomorrow (but that has always been hard for me ).It is another lovely day here, what a joy to leave off the boots, socks and jumpers! I bought a(nother) pair of shoes from Pavers on Friday, they will go nicely with today's skirt and top
(((hugs))) to all
* Money, time, patience, whatever
Oh hi @Slugsta this is so reassuring what you say. Can you tell me more nitty gritty about pretty brutal? How much overall do you reckon you cut down by; and do you regret any of the losses? Thanks re wildlife am emboldened to try and post photo! Watch this space! And I bought a pair of Nike sneakers with son’s encouragement, so much for cutting back on stuff!!!Morning all,
Does anyone dust behind bookshelves??
Carolyn, it is fascinating to hear about your native wildlife. So different from ours in appearance but sharing many behavioural traits
Spamar, thank you for that poem, and for the musical setting. Like you, I wasn't sure if it was talking about sleep or death, it could answer for both.
Ann, I am glad that you were able to talk with your son about visiting MIL, or not as the case may be. If it distresses the 'kids' and doesn't help MIL in any way, it seems to be the best course of action/inaction.
It is in the nature of women in general, and mothers in particular, to see ourselves as lacking when we look back. However, if we did the best we could, with what we had available*, at the time then we have nothing for which to reproach ourselves.
I am so glad that Patch is doing well - and how lovely that Bert gets to travel with his family
It is another lovely day here, what a joy to leave off the boots, socks and jumpers! I bought a(nother) pair of shoes from Pavers on Friday, they will go nicely with today's skirt and top
(((hugs))) to all
* Money, time, patience, whatever
Yes. Well. After all that, I looked on here, couldn't find my photo: WHERE IS IT??? Wrongly posted on one of @Grahamstown's threads, is the answer to that! So I'm going to try again - while the world holds its breath. It is typical of these ratbags that they would spread all over TP! I wish I could send the sound they make: the subtle blurs of four parrots in this photo (I haven't got @ Ann Mac 's skill with focusing!!!) give NO indication of the major impact they make, screaming their heads off while tearing at the autumn nuts and large seed pods. The brilliant blue sky is absolutely typical of Perth in the autumn. Not a cloud anywhere from horizon to horizon. And blessedly cold nights, even though the days can still be in the high twenties Celsius.
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I think I fail on the cutting back, but score highly on the dust! I’m contemplating getting a new bed, heaven only knows what’s underneath it! It’s a low one, with drawers underneath.
Last time the living room was decorated ( painted) it took me a fortnight to pack the books and 4 weeks to unpack - dust each one, decide whether to keep, if keep, whereabouts on the shelves! Needless to say, I have lots of books!
Otherwise I do a little bit at a time, and try not to keep things like flower containers that s9mdone has given me, but full of flowers. Being in bed has sorted at least three plants which didn’t get watered. Only my Aloe vera has survived! It’s so useful I wouldn’t want to kill that one. It’s at least 15 years old!
Glad people have liked Seal Lullaby!
Last time the living room was decorated ( painted) it took me a fortnight to pack the books and 4 weeks to unpack - dust each one, decide whether to keep, if keep, whereabouts on the shelves! Needless to say, I have lots of books!
Otherwise I do a little bit at a time, and try not to keep things like flower containers that s9mdone has given me, but full of flowers. Being in bed has sorted at least three plants which didn’t get watered. Only my Aloe vera has survived! It’s so useful I wouldn’t want to kill that one. It’s at least 15 years old!
Glad people have liked Seal Lullaby!
Fear not, I saw it, one half in my church as I was doing coffee for our charity coffee morning, and the other half at my OH's nursing home. It was so pretty all of it.
Excellent @kindred you have not failed me. I thought the stylistic coherence of Meghan’s glorious dress - the transparency of the veil was amazing! - and that of the ten little children and their outfits, pulled the whole spectacle together. The little girls’ dresses even had pockets; and their special shoes were inscribed on the soles with their initials and the date of the wedding. Imagine such keepsakes!
Oh thank goodness I feel better now.
Love to all, am filled with milk of human kindness at last,
C. XXX
Yes as to dust, you are truly my friend. As to books, I’ve cut back the available shelving by one quarter, at least I mean that on Wednesday a *handyman* (first time OH can’t do it: another milestone sadly reached) will remove one quarter of the total of now empty shelves. My strategy is that, if I haven’t got the shelf space, I will simply have to cull. Again.
Luckily, from a guilt monster point of view, we have a big annual Save the Children book sale on campus, that raises hundreds of thousands each year. It’s in July or August so I am timing this planned cull very well. Now all I have to do is to prevent OH from attending it and buying a fresh lot back again! Unfortunately on a table in his corridor at work there is a spot for people to put books they don’t want, so he’s bringing home at least one a day ... and, I have to confess, two new ones (not even castoffs) arrived in the post for me today. Ah well. So it goes.
Carolyn, thanks for the photo
Last year we moved from a 3 bedroom house, with loft, garage, shed and 3 big cupboards, to a 2 bedroom flat with no loft, no garage, no shed and only 1 decent cupboard We had to add extra units in the kitchen and have wardrobes/storage built into both bedrooms.
I kept one file of things from son's schooldays and have 2 boxes of Mum's things - although I do need to cull these still further but don't feel ready yet (she died in November).
I have regretted a couple of things, mainly clothes. I rashly got rid of a black cardigan that I need to replace and I cannot find my blue velvet dress, so assume I must have parted with it. Other than that, I haven't missed anything - other than Mum's address books which were not deliberately dumped but didn't seem to make the move (and resulted in a few people not being informed of her demise)
Opinions of The Dress vary here. I think it was OK, my friend thinks it was terminally dull. I just wonder how they were allowed to marry in church and why it was considered suitable for her to wear white!
Last year we moved from a 3 bedroom house, with loft, garage, shed and 3 big cupboards, to a 2 bedroom flat with no loft, no garage, no shed and only 1 decent cupboard
We had to add extra units in the kitchen and have wardrobes/storage built into both bedrooms.I kept one file of things from son's schooldays and have 2 boxes of Mum's things - although I do need to cull these still further but don't feel ready yet (she died in November).
I have regretted a couple of things, mainly clothes. I rashly got rid of a black cardigan that I need to replace and I cannot find my blue velvet dress, so assume I must have parted with it. Other than that, I haven't missed anything - other than Mum's address books which were not deliberately dumped but didn't seem to make the move (and resulted in a few people not being informed of her demise)
Opinions of The Dress vary here. I think it was OK, my friend thinks it was terminally dull. I just wonder how they were allowed to marry in church and why it was considered suitable for her to wear white!
I watched the wedding even! After it was over, they showed it again! I'd switch channels to see it from another viewpoint. I loved the little boy's face behind Meghan as she entered the church. Was he thrilled with the trumpets?!? He was so excited!
My two older boys are similar in age to William and Harry. In fact, I remember driving pregnant wanting Son #2 to be born and heard on the radio about Harry. Mine came the next week though.
i also smocked one of Prince William's outfits that I have to show them he wore (ithe prince is wearing it on the cover of a magazine from the 80's) to prove that real men/babies wore things like that! They all had a portrait taken in that outfit.
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