Morning everyone,
I'm so sorry I haven't been around for ages - I have just been so busy, with work and family and house, that I have honestly not had time to breath lately!
So sad to read about Sky Cat, Slugsta - I hope that both you and she are enjoying the cuddles and affection, I agree that's the very kindest way forward xxxxxx
I completely understand feeling like it might be easier for your Mum when she is 'less aware', too
Mil is now completely oblivious when she has a toilet accident - the bed being wet doesn't bother her at all, she doesn't question it or get upset by it, and its the same if she has an accident during the day. When I think of her fury, confusion and upset, when that happened when she lived with us, this loss of awareness is so much kinder to her - its a small comfort in the midst of this horrible illness xxx
Spamar, that appointment sounds like it was not good. I really hope that the physio and changes to meds help to keep you more pain-free than you have been lately, hun x So sorry that the Cornwall trip is off for you - such a shame after you had found out about the deal with the coaches - can you not go a few days/a week or two later?
JM - you have my sympathy - that must have been one hell of a strop
Its eased for me here, dau and I are getting on well and I don't have much grief from her when its just me and her, but OH and dau do tend to clash a lot at the moment, and I get a bit (OK - a lot) fed up of being 'piggy in the middle'. It was the same when oldest girl was at this age, and I don't think its eased off till oldest went to uni! Dau has a tendency to take offence at anything OH says (even when he really hasn't said anything at all wrong) and say something rude - and unfortunately, OH has always been a 'reacter' rather than a 'responder' (in other words, he reacts with anger at her cheek, rather than giving a measured response!) and that makes it worse. To be fair though, having been the target of dau's teen tantrums during the run up to the exams, and during them, I think I turned into a bit of a reacter myself - there were a few occasions when I went out of my way to do something nice for dau (as you did for yours by doing her hair) and she then had a melt down aimed at me, I completely lost the plot and the fall out was horrible. As OH has said, its not that he expects effusive thanks from dau when he plays taxi driver and puts his own plans on hold to run her here, there and everywhere, for example - but then, he doesn't expect to get a mouthful of abuse either! You just have to weather this stage, it does end - though that is a lot easier said than done!
2jays - hope your daughter enjoyed her hug
I feel like I haven't stopped for the last week or so here! The flat roof over dau's bedroom needed replacing, it has to be done every 10 years or so and it was overdue. We had replaced the one at the front of the house, about 2 years ago, but getting the other done kept getting 'put off', as these things do. OH wasn't impressed with the job done by 'professionals' last time, so decided to do it himself - and there is no doubt that he not only did a much better job, but that it also saved us a small fortune (about £1000, in total!) - but, as these jobs do, it created mess and inconvenience and a lot of time was spent trying to keep on top of the chaos.
On top of that, work was frantic, and I had son's graduation in the middle of it all. Monday morning saw me out with one of my groups, 'bracken bashing' with a local wildlife charity at a Nature reserve - that was fab, the group loved it, it was a beautiful day and we all had a really good time
Then it was drop the gang off, back to mine with one of them, a quick wash and change and something to eat, then the two of us went off to Birmingham for a gathering of fellow staff and young disabled people from all over the UK - we do these sessions about 3 times a year, its a chance for the young people to give us feedback on what we have done, and to plan with them what we are doing next - its actually a really informative, interesting and enjoyable event. We have an informal chat over a meal at the hotel the day we arrive, then the next day is spent on interactive sessions where the young people have a chance to let us know what we have done well, what we have done not so well - and where we can do better. I love the fact that the organisation I work for listens to the people we support and actually acts on what they say!
We got home around 6.30 on Tuesday night, then Wednesday it was son's graduation, so an early start as we had to be there for 9a.m.. That was a fab day - I am so, so proud of him
He is still very shell-shocked by having acheived a first, bless him - he still can't quite believe it
The ceremony was really nice, the Chancellor of the uni had a very laid back and humerous approach, and it was clear that the students really liked her - time and again we watched students go up and rather than a handshake, it was a hug - one young lady got half way down the red carpet and 'dabbed' at the chancellor - who didn't bat an eyelid, just 'dabbed' right back
And if the students wanted, when they went up to collect there degree, she would stop, they would point out their family in the audience and she would pose with the student whilst proud parents took a photograph. Afterwards, we went back to son and his GF's house, where I met a new member of the family - my first Granddog, lol. They have given a home to a little fellow called Patch - he is 11, but in really good health, used to being in a busy family where the owners work (though son and his GF work shifts that rarely clash, so Patch is never along for more than a couple of hours) and he is adorable. Son and GF very deliberately wanted an older dog that they could give a happy few years to, and Patch seems to have settled incredibly well. So, after a time spent fussing a cooing over the little fellow, we then all went out for a really gorgeous celebratory meal, before OH, dau and I headed home.
Thursday was another day at a Nature reserve, 'bracken bashing' and cutting back hedgerows in the morning, and a wildlife walk in the afternoon. Another really nice, but really tiring day - my group absolutely loved it, and it looks like we'll have quite a bit of stuff to do with with this wildlife charity over the next few months - much to the groups delight, lol. Back home for 4, quick wash and change and OH and I went to visit Mil.
We walked in to find her obviously being 'difficult' with a member of staff, but as soon as she saw OH, beaming smile, and whatever was upsetting her was forgotten. It wasn't a bad visit, but you could feel she was 'bubbling' under the surface - a few snappy responses and a slight aggression there
At one point she threatened to 'choke' me if I 'repeated a word' of what she was about to say, before she went on to a completely banal confabulation about some woman who had insisted that Mil was called something different (thats the gist of it, hard to follow her, tbh). I noticed that even with OH there, she didn't seem to know my name - usually she knows me when he is around too - and at one point she asked OH where his 'Mum had gone, with those two bags?'. A lot of expecting to me to supply the names of people she started to talk about and definite edging towards being cross when I couldn't put a name to
'that chap you met at the hop last week - he had a bandage'! He was just one of many characters she came up with during a series of confabulations, that often trailed off into confusion as she couldn't follow the tale she was telling herself. Leaving was OK-ish - a bit of wanting to come with us, but not too bad. Most of the residents seemed a bit antsy to be honest, though I guess that it was just that time of day?
Friday - a conference call with work to start the day, then off out early to pick up shopping and some more holiday euro's. OH and I sneaked in a breakfast/brunch out , which was really nice. Whilst eating, I told OH that I was a bit cheesed off that on arriving home on Tuesday night, I'd ended up having to cook a meal for the family. I know he had been finishing off the roof, and was tired - but so was I. He agreed it was really unfair and when we got home, both he and dau got stuck in and between us we pitched in and did all the housework - first time in nearly 2 weeks that the house has looked like a home and not a bombsite!. Later, we all sorted the evening meal together, before collapsing in front of the TV - mainly to doze off in my case, lol!
Today, we are off to Coventry to visit oldest and her BF, before they head off to Italy on Tuesday. Tomorrow I'm hoping for a zoo day, with a visit in to see Mil on the way home. Next week, Manchester on Monday, then two days in South Wales fror the Royal Welsh Show with work - I am supposed to be organising another day at the Nature reserve for Thursday, but I think I'm going to bail on that one, to put in some time with admin - I'll rearrange for the week after! Though I think I have 2 or 3 meetings that week too!
Its 18 days, 7 hours and around 17 minutes till we fly off on holiday to Rhodes - not that I'm counting or anything
Much love to you all, as always xxxx
