Mother with dementia

[mountainriver]

I work as a social worker and live at home with my older Sister who has severe anxiety and my mother who has dementia. I'm doing everything I can for my mum taking her to appointments as my sister is unable to drive. I work long hours and my sister is only working 3 days. I'm in my late 50s and she is in her early 60s (never married and no relationship for 30 yrs). She has practically controlled my life since moving in, blanks me if I stay out with my partner and starts arguments and then blames me for the atmosphere at home. I'm exhausted, Mom is late 80s and her dementia is progressing and I'm making her comfortable and happy and enjoying the time left with her. But all I want to do is decompress for half an hour after work but I walk into the house and my sisters moods are unbearable she also like most older siblingsis in charge of her finances. Is anyone here have a controlling sibling who thinks they are doing everything when in fact they are not. I love my treating mom to nights away when I can but if my sister comes it will be ruined with her controlling behaviour. Any help appreciated

 

[Bunpoots]

Hello @mountainriver welcome to the forum.

This sounds like a very challenging situation for you. I have met people like your older sister and they are very difficult to deal with. I’ve found the best way is to try to avoid the person, not easy when you’re living with them!

I’m sorry not to have any practical suggestions about how to deal with your sister but do feel free to share your frustrations with us on the forum. Perhaps someone else will have found something which helps..