1. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Ann, Im glad MIL seems to be improving. I do hope that she gets her medication sorted.

    I have been hesitant to post this and I might be out of order, but now she seems more settled on the ward I am wondering whether you are seeing "hostess mode" when you visit......
  2. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Afternoon all,

    Canary, this is a very valid comment, whether or not it turns out to be the case.

    Grace, I adore tigers too! How lovely to be able to 'shadow' a keeper for a day :) I don't think I would be able to cope with that now but would have loved it a few years ago. I do hope your pain is settling back down to 'usual' levels after your trojan work at MIL's.

    Lovely photo JM :)

    Izzy, thanks for the suggestion. My initial reaction is that it wouldn't work, but I will give it some thought. TBH, I'm trying to avoid having to go in and do this myself every day - but that might not be possible, at least in the short term.

    Hubby is one of 7, the youngest SIL has always been difficult, made things very unpleasant last year when hubby was executing his Mum's estate and is still not speaking to us. I don't consider it a huge loss (as long as we still see our nephew)!

    Ann, I am glad you have had more pleasant visits to MIL. After all the aggression and nastiness, it must be so nice to get back the lady you once knew. I think clomethiazole is the drug I mentioned, it used to be called heminevrin and was used quite a lot, in the olden days :p, for agitation in the elderly as well as alcoholic withdrawal. I'm afraid I don't know why it stopped being used.

    Mum also seems to have lost any sense of needing toilet matters to be private. It is one of the reasons I always 'escort' her when we are out. Not just so that she doesn't get lost but also so that I can stand and hold the door closed!

    I also remember visiting the elderly aunt of our son's ex girl-friend. She was in hospital, just prior to going into residential care due to dementia, and suddenly said 'Oh, have I got any knickers on?' and lifted her skirt right up to check. Hubby didn't hang around for long enough to find out the answer (which was 'no' :( )! It's all part of that social dis-inhibition that dementia brings and, as such, is harder for us than the PWD.

    It's not so nice here today but still dry at least. We had Mum over for tea, she enjoyed her scone with jam and cream. And then enjoyed picking every single crumb from the surrounding area and eating it :rolleyes: At 3.15 I asked whether she was OK to stay for a while or would rather go home (she doesn't like being away from her friend for long), she said she wanted to stay. At 3.18 she asked to be taken home . . . I always have very mixed feelings - part of me is hurt that she wants to be with D rather than me, the other part is relieved that she wants to go back as I find the time passes very slowly when I am with her :eek: She really cannot make, or join in, conversation and I don't know how else to try and fill the time.
  3. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    Hello all --
    Good to catch up a bit with all of you. --Holiday was the best we've ever had -- we went to the South Luangwa Park in Zambia on safari for a few days and I fulfilled my wish to see a leopard in action. (Previously only seen one lolling in a tree.) The guide tracked it from its spore and prints and then he spotted a herd of Impala all alert, with their noses pointed in one direction -- he told us the leopard would be in the thickets they were looking at and suddenly I saw this brutal, sleek shadow under a tree and we set off in pursuit of this magnificent female leopard, about 2 years old. Photo below. Along with one other of the wildlife.
    Then we went to stay by the Zambezi and the lodge seemed to have upgraded us because not only did we have a gorgeous bedroom suite, with sitting area and changing area and huge walk-in rain shower (photo below) but we also had a second bedroom suite (in case OH snored!?) and a sitting/dining suite, a private plunge pool and deck. Oh, and our own personal valet, who seemed to be telepathic. We'd get back from some activity and he'd have drawn a bath for me, or have a glass of champagne at the ready. I wish I could have brought him home.
    Victoria Falls was unforgettable. We saw the lunar rainbow, which was a gossamer, ethereal light show, and the next day went back and walked along the opposite bank under the solar rainbows, getting soaked. I never knew water could make you laugh and cry at the same time but Vic Falls did that to me. We also took the helicopter ride over the falls as we'd come so far it seemed silly to penny-pinch and not do it. :D
    It was so wonderful, with sunrise and sunset cruises, and pampering, that it helped me over the difficult fact that it is the one year anniversary of my father's death.
    See pix below:

    Attached Files:

  4. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    Hi Red,
    What fabulous pix! That leopard looks ready to jump out of the page!
    So glad you had a great time. You needed recovery time!!
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Wow, what a wonderful holiday :D
  6. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    Morning all,

    Red - that sounds absoultely amazing! My dream holiday - really hope you have some more pics to share xxx

    I'm going to be absent for a few days - I had a phone call last night to tell me that My Mum passed away late yesterday afternoon. As most of you know, over the last 2 years, I've had little/no contact with her - she had major issues about me looking after Mil, and was very unpleasant to both me, OH and my kids when Mil moved in with us, mainly because she felt that if I looked after anyone, it should be just her. She caused a lot of upset, not for the first time unfortunately, and at that point, I made the decision that I couldn't and wouldn't put up with the way she behaved - not when it involved her upsetting my children, especially. All 3 of my sisters had broken off contact with her some years before, because of very similar issues with her. I've kept an occasional eye on her, sort of from a distance, through my step dad, but otherwise had no contact. So I feel very 'odd' about the news - mainly sad that our relationship ended up the way it did, but still don't know what other choice I had about breaking off contact the way I did. I wish it could have been different and I regret that it wasn't. My Step Dad is devastated, and I need to be here for him for the next little while, so don't know if I'll have much chance to get on here.

    Take care, everyone xxx
  7. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    I'm sorry to read that news Anne, especially in such difficult circumstances. Sending my condolences.
  8. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    Oh Ann I'm so sorry. Thinking of you all xx
  9. Roses40

    Roses40 Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    A loss is a loss regardless of the circumstances. Please accept my condolances on your Mums passing x
  10. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    Thinking of you at this difficult time xx.
  11. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    Thinking of you, Ann. x
  12. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Ann
  13. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    It`s sad news Ann .

    I know how it is. You did what you could but it would never have been enough. My condolences.
  14. CeliaW

    CeliaW Registered User

    Jan 29, 2009
    I am so sorry Ann. You will be in all our thoughts at such a difficult time. Take care xx
  15. disi

    disi Registered User

    My thoughts are with you at this sad time Ann.
  16. Grace L

    Grace L Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    NW UK
    Sorry to hear your news AnnM. I'm thinking of you and you family xxxx
  17. cragmaid

    cragmaid Registered User

    Oct 18, 2010
    North East England
    So very sorry to hear that your Mum died. Regardless of recent events, she was your Mum. She carried you, gave birth to you, nurtured you, and moulded you into the strong, kind caring person that you are today. You are probably feeling some very mixed emotions now.
    Thinking of you all with sympathy and love....Maureen.x.x.
  18. Delphie

    Delphie Registered User

    Dec 14, 2011
    Oh Ann, what a difficult time for you. You're in my thoughts. D xxx
  19. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    Im so sorry Ann. It must be hard for you with it ending this way.
    Look after yourself.
  20. Tara62

    Tara62 Registered User

    What very sad news, Ann. I'm so sorry.

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