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I feel exactly the same, I don’t have a life any more, I just don’t exist. 46 years of marriage to end like this, sad, alone, exhausted and terrified of what is going to happen tomorrow and the day after........Im afraid that dementia destroys so many bonds. Im still at home with OH, but I no longer feel like a wife. We used to be soulmates, but now Im just a carer/housekeeper/general dogsbody and all he can see are his own needs wants and comforts. Every day is groundhog day.
I hope you can work everything out, I value your input on here
Thanks everyone. Well thats it, my sister is gone. I had thought it would have been our mum as she is so frail now, but it all turned out different and unexpected. All so quick and unstoppable. We had a humanist service, which though short was fitting for my sister. I'm taking the next week off and plan to return to work at the end of the month.
Its just me and mum now
You dont have to do anything about the ashes until you are ready.
The funeral directors kept mums ashes for a year until I could sort something out.
Be kind to yourself and wishing you strength. Hopefully you can take some time for yourself soon.
I hope you won’t end up having to apply for probate for your sister as it’s sounds like your BIL will struggle.