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sicut animam suam : 'it's just life'

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
Your gift from your colleagues @Palerider shows how highly you are thought of. Well done to you and well done to them.

Yes I am lucky - I work with an amazing small team of practitioners who are also friends. Some wanted to come up and visit including Emma but sadly lockdown put a stop to that. I'll be back with them next week at the coal face
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
2,794
0
That hamper is lovely, @Palerider. Enjoy it and enjoy being back with your friends at work next week.
I loved looking at the photo of you and your sister. I brought the seventies right back.
Look after you, and try to rest up during the rest of your leave.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
Today I finalised my own funeral plan, and I have to say it is a relief to know that it's sorted -I am beginning to understand my gran and mums worry about ensuring it was all sorted. I think this last few weeks has woken me to the reality of what happens with nothing in place, not just finances but the whole thing.

I am struggling more now than the weeks up to the funeral, I guess because the adrenaline is gone and there is nothing more to be done. I am also finding the situation of not being able to visit mum is making me quite emotional and sad on some days.

Oh well, tonight I am finally tidying the boxes in my house and now have a clear back room, now for the front and more boxes 🤪
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
794
0
It's all caught up with you @Palerider , make sure you take things slowly and look after yourself. It has been a lot to deal with, caring for your sister and her wishes, and looking out for your mum too. xx
 

Lone Wolf

Registered User
Sep 20, 2020
126
0
"I am also finding the situation of not being able to visit mum is making me quite emotional and sad on some days."


It is even worse in the knowledge that so many care homes are allowing some form of visiting.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
72,956
0
Kent
This is what happens @Palerider.

It`s as if there is no longer any need for the adrenaline you've been living off the past few months and in addition to being unable to visit your mum you`ve come down with a bump.

Give yourself time to wind down.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
I just want everyone to know that today I laughed -yes I actually laughed, it was of short duration while watching the Hairy Bikers repeats but it was definately a laugh. I'm not great, but feel better that I know I still have the ability to find humour -I was beginning to worry.

I have also ordered more new trousers for mum and new slippers (the care staff wash them repeatedly until they fall apart) and then realised I have sent the new slippers to the wrong address (the old one) -fortunately the Estate Agent was very understanding and will let the new owners know so they can pop them into the office -phew!

Last weekend off, so I am making the most of it with a few new recipes to try......erm with some fizzy Italian wine 🥴
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
1,896
0
Bedford
Lovely to hear that you have managed to laugh again.
I have 3 of their cook books that are well used. You could do a Keith Floyd impression as you cook
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
Today the sun shone and there was blue sky. I felt the warmth on my back and it was a welcome break from the last few weeks of grey skies and rain. I felt a little lifted by it.

Now I am trying to track down the funeral director because my siusters ashes have been released but I don't want my BIL to be overhwlemed with the news as arrangemets have been made for interment in the garden of remembrance with an entry into the book of remembrance -its all arranged but we have agreed some ashes are put to one side as well as my sisters fingerprints and locks of hair that were taken. I don't want him panicking over this even though its what he asked for. There have been some differences since my sister passed and now there are only two out of four wanting something more (understandably as two of her daughters think its all very creepy), so what do we do with the bits left over?

My sister would just laugh and say how typical is that, but we have to be respectful of the dead, so now I am thinking of other ways these things can be used. I think if they are refashioned in a way that is not similar to ashes then my neices will find a way -but I am hoovering up after their dads initial thoughts. I personally never hang on to anything of the dead, but maybe this time round I may have to -perhaps a sign that my sister is not yet done with this life, who knows
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,466
0
meh just thining -perhaps I should keep them until they come to me and ask, whcih I am sure in time they will
I find it all a bit strange, I kind of understand a lock of hair as I kept locks of my sons hair from when he was a baby (blonde and curly) I also have his baby teeth and I don't know why I kept them but maybe it was just a thing we did in those days. I don't expect that he will want them now he is all grown up. I need to get rid of some stuff.

I don't really understand the making ashes into jewellery it seems a bit morbid to me but each to their own and if it makes them happy then why not. I confess that I asked for some of dads ashes to be kept back for me (just a handful) because I want to scatter them at sea because dad was a seaman. This is purely because I want to do it for dad but he won't know so really it is for my benefit, it is just something I want to do. I don't know when I will do it but I will and it will probably make me fill better.

Actually I know that dad would be all for it if I get the chance to scatter a little bit of him in the Caribbean.

Yes @Palerider I think you should just hang on to them until they ask.
 

Palerider

Registered User
Aug 9, 2015
2,437
0
North West
I find it all a bit strange, I kind of understand a lock of hair as I kept locks of my sons hair from when he was a baby (blonde and curly) I also have his baby teeth and I don't know why I kept them but maybe it was just a thing we did in those days. I don't expect that he will want them now he is all grown up. I need to get rid of some stuff.

I don't really understand the making ashes into jewellery it seems a bit morbid to me but each to their own and if it makes them happy then why not. I confess that I asked for some of dads ashes to be kept back for me (just a handful) because I want to scatter them at sea because dad was a seaman. This is purely because I want to do it for dad but he won't know so really it is for my benefit, it is just something I want to do. I don't know when I will do it but I will and it will probably make me fill better.

Actually I know that dad would be all for it if I get the chance to scatter a little bit of him in the Caribbean.

Yes @Palerider I think you should just hang on to them until they ask.
I think if it helps people move on I don't see anything wrong with it -each to their own hey. Anyway its all sorted out today and I won't have to keep anything myself, I've got onto the funeral directors and they are sorting the BILs request out directly with him -phew!
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
1,347
0
High Peak
That's good to hear. We just arranged for mum's ashes to be scattered on Rosebed 3 at the crem - no charge and it's what mum wanted :)

I'm not one for keeping ashes or even having graves to visit, etc. but I do understand that it's important for some people. I do think about my own funeral as I'm planning to do a plan in the near future. I have to say, the Viking thing of setting light to the body in a boat and sending it off to sea still appeals... I'm also drawn to the idea of something elaborate - a long procession with professional mourners and peacocks - definitely peacocks. I could plan it so it used up any money I might have left after my sojourn at the care home....

(Don't tell my kids - hehehe!)