Hi. I have posted once before but just needed to get this off my mind.
This is in relation to my 58 year old husband. I had concerns about 18 months ago and husband had a private neurologist appointment, followed by an MRI and was given the all clear.
SORRY this is so long.
Concerns:
Memory not really affected. Only had one time a couple of days ago where my husband hadn’t known who I was talking about when I told him something about our ex son in law.
This is in relation to my 58 year old husband. I had concerns about 18 months ago and husband had a private neurologist appointment, followed by an MRI and was given the all clear.
SORRY this is so long.
Concerns:
Memory not really affected. Only had one time a couple of days ago where my husband hadn’t known who I was talking about when I told him something about our ex son in law.
- Seems more mellow than has been most our 35 years together.
- Despite the above though, does not handle a situation well - I.e when our dog had to go to the animal hospital recently, I had to calm him, when I could on our own. He was quite outspoken and exaggerating to me in front of them that he could be there for years and would also cost thousands (was quite expensive though ha). He dotes on our dog by the way as well.
- He lacks empathy. I’ve suffered a recent unexpected and difficult bereavement. He would have always taken me under his wing and looked after me. He has felt quite empty (although try’s if prompted).
- He gets a bit OCD about some things. Walks at certain times and preferred routes. He had been bringing me a coffee and breakfast anytime from 5.30am on a weekend (he gets up early). I did manage to stop this after a few months but he’s still hovering around the bedroom from about 7.30am to see if I am planning a walk with him or should he go alone. I’ve tried to say that we work all week and don’t need to be out so early but he’s anxious to go.
- Watches YouTube for hours - either a handful of people that he like who video walking around towns (he will watch for hours) and obsessively, American news (mainly Fox and pro republican for whatever reason). Not saying that is right or wrong but it’s quite unusual for him and obsessive.
- Practical things:
- He struggles with planning and problem solving now. He has always been good at diy for example - but struggles now if for example there were a cut needed in tiles or wallpaper, he wouldn’t work it out without me (very unlike him over the years).
- Won’t volunteer himself any longer for any help with diy etc with our daughters’ like he would have done over the years.
- I’d recently asked if had given our dog his insulin, he felt like he had and hadn’t. I checked the sharps bin and at the top was a needle, still with the insulin in.
- Biggest impact at the moment:
- He was made redundant last year. Has always been in engineering and a manager for many years. Could not grasp the new role offered so took the redundancy. In a new job now for 4 months, with (we thought) less demands, still in engineering. He is really struggling and making lots of mistakes (to the point of being shouted at on a number of occasions and told today that he isn’t performing as they had hoped). He is making mistakes on things like measuring and inputting dates and data onto the computer. He had to use his phone a few weeks ago (he told me), to add one onto another four digit number. His probation is up in about a month and for the first time ever in his working life, he may be finished for not being ‘good enough’. He has always done so well, I just don’t know what’s happening.
- He says he would be fine at work if it wasn’t for the guy training him, who he says is watching over him and losing it with him. Even this, is not my husband to just take that. He told our daughters’ the other week that he goes to the machine for a Yorkie bar if he gets in trouble - again, not him.
- I have given thought to the idea of depression but I just don’t know. If he has no (or little) responsibility and can be with me, he is so content. He generally is in good spirits if there are no problems or worries.
- This long list may seem obvious and shout out my concern - but this is a few worries compiled together, so looks bad. No one else would even know really. He is quite able to hold a fluent conversation etc. and takes good care of himself.
- I have made an appointment for us both to talk to the doctor again this weekend. I don’t want to put worries in his mind or exaggerate the situation, everything just feels so different and I can’t quite say any one reason why. I feel so bad for him that he is struggling so much and I don’t know how best to help him. Thank you for letting me vent. X