Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by kindred, Apr 17, 2018.

  1. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    You are such a good woman, sweetheart. Gxxx
     
  2. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,142
    Not sure about good, just walking the treadmill! A xxx
     
  3. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    OK. In I go and the chef walks past me with a turkey on his head. A toy one of course, but life sized and convincing.
    Christmas has certainly arrived.
    I had just spent a tedious morning with the bank fraud department sorting out and making me safe after an inept offline attempt to get a bank card from Keith who supposedly phoned to request one ... That would be a neat trick.
    As I sit down, Keith asks me if I use persil? So I agree I do. (where did that one come from???).
    Nice happy atmosphere today, lots of visitors and carols being sung. (Do you remember carol singers folks? We used to get the salvation army come round).
    As I leave, Blue eyed boy whispers to me that some people are capable of ANYTHING!!!
    Thanks guys, all good and chaotic.
    love and best, Geraldinexx
     
  4. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,142
    Sorry about your morning, it is worrying we have to be on our guard even in our own home. Xxx
     
  5. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    Thank you. Interestingly enough, it had the effect of flagging up a mistake by the bank. When registered POA for Keith he had capacity, now he does not and the bank should have asked me when I went to register POA with them in March, because it adds an additional layer of safety So anyway, he apologised and then, having been there 90 minutes doing this wrenching and worryin staff, I asked if I could use their toilet and he went all prim and said there were no public toilets in the bank and pointed me to the coffee shop. Limit to kindness then. Gxx
     
  6. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,142
    Quite shameful!
     
  7. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    Yes and distressing. In Bristol we now have no public toilets. A simple act of kindness is all it takes ...
    Thanks, Alice. Geraldinexxx
     
  8. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    I have obviously led a sheltered life because I did not realise there was a rude version of Jingle Bells which involves someone losing their willie on the M1.
    On a more serious note, I have been holding back from telling you that I thought my blue eyed boy was drifting away from me. But today, oh my goodness today. Keith leaned close to me and said
    Are you all right?
    I said I am, sweetheart, especially when I am here with you.
    He said, Good, thank you.
    Back in the day in the times of the dreadful carer at home struggle, he once said to me, Why am I doing this to you? I wouldn't do this to you. I was on all fours cleaning up a desperately horrible mess and in tears so could say nothing at the time. Later, I explained it was that his head was a bit damaged following bumping it so many times. (Being tall, Keith has spent a lifetime bumping his head in doorways).

    He stretched out his hand and held mine. But oh his legs are so thin now.
    Just with him, I did a film themes session, Great Escape, James Bond, Dr Zhivago, and then the snowman. Keith was able to hum most of them, especially the snowman. I so wish I could explain to him that in the latest version, the snowman has a snowwoman because this used to worry Keith so much, that he was all alone.
    Before I left, I said, how lovely to be with you precious boy and Keith replied, It's what we do isn't it.
    Yes, my blue eyed boy, it's what we do. Who needs Christmas?
    Thanks guys, thank you. with love, Geraldinexxxxx
     
  9. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,142
    Your words touched me so much, these glimpses of what is really there at the root that enduring Love.
    How things were and still are even when buried deep under the layers of this illness in its many forms.
    This week or two is quite poignant isn't it. Xxx
     
  10. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    Oh sweetheart, yes, very poignant and thank you so much for beautiful words. Enduring love, what a wonderful expression. Gxx
     
  11. Sad Staffs

    Sad Staffs Registered User

    Jun 26, 2018
    676
    Female
    Oh my goodness Geraldine, you have made me cry again. Such wonderful touching posts, that always touch my heart.
    I wish I had your strength and courage, and your perspective on life.
    You are who I aspire to, when things get worse for us.
    I’m sending much love to you, and to your gorgeous blue eyed boy, B xx
     
  12. Grahamstown

    Grahamstown Registered User

    Jan 12, 2018
    1,194
    East of England
    Dear G - yes it’s that sweetness, the thin hands, the thin legs, the confusion that tugs at your heartstrings, all to be carried in your heart and only really understood by fellow people looking after their sick family. Hope you have another happy day with your dear husband.
     
  13. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    Oh my darling, so good to hear from you, what lovely words, lovely. More anon, and thank you with all heart. Great love, Geraldinexxx
     
  14. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    Yes that sweetness, thank God for that sweetness. With all love, Gx
     
  15. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    OK guys, it all got me beat today, am flippin exhausted. More anon. Too much Christmas I think ...love and best, Gxxxxx
     
  16. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    Have not gone in derelection of duty! Have got bad throat, cannot sing!! also am really bushed. But life continues at Keith's home. Unreasonably large parcels are arriving, usually flowers which leave mountains of packaging ... I could wish for small, simple bunches of snowdrops in shoeboxes, but there ...
    Nurses really bushed too, sometimes everyone is just in silence or asleep AND WE HAVE NOT HAD CHRISTMAS DAY YET. Perhaps this is a plan so we can literally sleep through next week.
    Keith happy and he can sing even if I can't. As I left he asks me if the Ministry of Defence has gone into liquidation yet .. now there's one I don't know!!
    More anon, thanks guys and hope you are bearing up better than I am!!
    love and best, Gxxxx
     
  17. AliceA

    AliceA Registered User

    May 27, 2016
    2,142
    Wishing you better soon, take advantage of the rest and self care. Lots of love, A xxx
     
  18. Mudgee Joy

    Mudgee Joy Registered User

    Dec 26, 2017
    643
    Female
    New South Wales Australia
    Thanks everyone above - it is lovely to know that love is still there in others too - there is a nice song - American - Gretchen Peters - do listen if you can - it makes me tear up..

    “when you are old and tired and grey,
    and wear your overcoat on sunny days, when your brave tales have all been told - I’ll love you still, when you are old.

    You’ll still be the same to me,
    the comfort and the mystery,
    I’ll be old too you see and
    I’ll need someone to comfort me!

    When you are old and pale and gaunt,
    and a gentle hand is all you want,
    I will give you mine to hold ,
    I’ll be here when you are old.
     
  19. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    2,126
    Oh how lovely, thank you. ... the comfort and the mystery. with love, Geraldinexxx
     
  20. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,957
    Female
    Dundee
    I thought you might like the link to the song -



    I was interested to read that it is based on a poem by WB Yeats -

     

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