When my OH was first diagnosed about four and a half years ago, he said to me, on the way home, please don't throw me away ... we are 72 and have been together since we were 18. He is the love of my life. I promised him I would never do that, never, he would never have to go in a home. We would stay together forever. Fast forward to this year, and four years of intensive caring as OH deteriorated oh so rapidly. I was broken and making myself carry on by writing 100 lines each night, I must endure. I am sole carer. Then the train crash, terrible fall, a and e and admission to hospital and the social worker writing the best interest statement that his needs were best met in residential care. I know this is right, I have watched three medical people move him, needs three, whereas I had been managing on my own. OH is tall and I am tiny. I have had to make another promise, I will be with you. We are still together. I spend up to three hours every day in his nursing home. I would like to tell you what it is like, you may find it reassuring. Yesterday when I went there after work (I still work two days a week as a mental health professional), he knew it was me and put his arms out for me and we had a hug. This has not happened in weeks before the accident. He is relaxed and happy for the first time. I think he was lonely with just me, even though I was trying to be an entertainer, well you know all that ... The staff greet me by telling me what he has been doing in the day, what kind of a night. They know and appreciate him so well, he is a gentle and positive presence even though he does talk nonsense all day!! I wonder how he will be when I go in today. And I am keeping my new promise, I am with him. That means the world to me, I have not failed completely. Thank you all, this is a wonderful forum.