Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

[AliceA]

You are right, Geraldine, it is about acceptance. The Quakers talk of seeing God in everyone you meet.
Often I try to ask myself what is situation teaching me about myself, my strengths and weaknesses.
I think we have to look beyond the obvious.

I still get exhausted though!!!
I was irritated too when I nearly fell over the lower kitchen drawer being left open to save time!!!
Fortunately I was not taking the washing in otherwise I would not have seen it. I did say what would you do if I broke my neck! Probably a waste of breath.

Have you heard of the theory of breathing slowly? I forget the name but in the 1800s (when I was young) a man said we all came in with a supply of oxygen. So we need to breathe slowly so not to run out!

So breath slowly and calmly, everyone.

 

[kindred]

Geraldine,
your final paragraph ... it’s just.... beautiful, it has really touched me.
You truly are one special person. Keith is a very lucky man to have someone so understanding, caring and loving. I feel privileged to share your journey with Keith.
Thank you, with much love, B xx

Oh thank you so much. Thank you, it's so good to have youhere so very good. with great love Geraldinexxx

 

[kindred]

You are right, Geraldine, it is about acceptance. The Quakers talk of seeing God in everyone you meet.
Often I try to ask myself what is situation teaching me about myself, my strengths and weaknesses.
I think we have to look beyond the obvious.

I still get exhausted though!!!
I was irritated too when I nearly fell over the lower kitchen drawer being left open to save time!!!
Fortunately I was not taking the washing in otherwise I would not have seen it. I did say what would you do if I broke my neck! Probably a waste of breath.

Have you heard of the theory of breathing slowly? I forget the name but in the 1800s (when I was young) a man said we all came in with a supply of oxygen. So we need to breathe slowly so not to run out!

So breath slowly and calmly, everyone.

Oh I so love that about the supply of oxygen, thank you. Of course you get exhausted, I think for us exhausted is the new normal. That is so interesting about the Quakers. I tried to join them once but I was convinced they could hear my thoughts in the silene periods!!
with love and so good to hear from you.
I am at work at the moment, come in early, set computers up and then ****** off for a cup of tea at local caff. More anon and thank you with all heart. with love, Geraldinexx

 

[Grannie G]

I don't try to do comparison with how it was once. I try to accept that this is the man as he is now.

we must love what they are not get eroded by regret at what they aren't

Absolutely

 

[Toony Oony]

Hi @kindred @AliceA @Sad Staffs et al
Just the quickest of quick notes to let you know that I am keeping up with what's going on here, but things are a bit hectic at the mo, which is why I am unusually quiet!
Care Home Christmas Fayre on Friday and I am frantically making a few more things for my stall - not helped by the fact that my **!!??!! vertigo refuses to shift. Machining patterned patchwork with vertigo is not advisable ... GP thinks it is ear crystals and is going to do the Epley manoeuvre on me - yikes! However, when I mentioned I'd lost my sense of smell since an awful flu virus in the summer, she has said I have to have a brain scan before she 'manoeuvres me'. Cannot say I am looking forward to having my head in a box, nor seeing what is going on in there!!
In other news, daughter has bought 'an outfit' to cheer up her Nan and the other residents at the CH. When she showed me, I instantly thought of you @kindred - apologies that I lack the ability to make the image smaller!!
Take care and talk soon

XXX

 

[AliceA]

I had a brain scan, they said they could not find anything! Not as bad as I thought. I had a jaw tumour in the bone so they were been careful. Good luck. X

 

[kindred]

Absolutely

Thank you so much, Grannie and so good to hear from you. I am Grannie G to my grandchildren too. with love, Geraldinexx

 

[kindred]

Hi @kindred @AliceA @Sad Staffs et al
Just the quickest of quick notes to let you know that I am keeping up with what's going on here, but things are a bit hectic at the mo, which is why I am unusually quiet!
Care Home Christmas Fayre on Friday and I am frantically making a few more things for my stall - not helped by the fact that my **!!??!! vertigo refuses to shift. Machining patterned patchwork with vertigo is not advisable ... GP thinks it is ear crystals and is going to do the Epley manoeuvre on me - yikes! However, when I mentioned I'd lost my sense of smell since an awful flu virus in the summer, she has said I have to have a brain scan before she 'manoeuvres me'. Cannot say I am looking forward to having my head in a box, nor seeing what is going on in there!!
In other news, daughter has bought 'an outfit' to cheer up her Nan and the other residents at the CH. When she showed me, I instantly thought of you @kindred - apologies that I lack the ability to make the image smaller!!
Take care and talk soon

XXX
View attachment 60156

Oh this is amazing!!!! I do hope the brain scan goes well sweetheart, so good tohear from you. with love Gxx

 

[Sad Staffs]

Hi @kindred @AliceA @Sad Staffs et al
Just the quickest of quick notes to let you know that I am keeping up with what's going on here, but things are a bit hectic at the mo, which is why I am unusually quiet!
Care Home Christmas Fayre on Friday and I am frantically making a few more things for my stall - not helped by the fact that my **!!??!! vertigo refuses to shift. Machining patterned patchwork with vertigo is not advisable ... GP thinks it is ear crystals and is going to do the Epley manoeuvre on me - yikes! However, when I mentioned I'd lost my sense of smell since an awful flu virus in the summer, she has said I have to have a brain scan before she 'manoeuvres me'. Cannot say I am looking forward to having my head in a box, nor seeing what is going on in there!!
In other news, daughter has bought 'an outfit' to cheer up her Nan and the other residents at the CH. When she showed me, I instantly thought of you @kindred - apologies that I lack the ability to make the image smaller!!
Take care and talk soon

XXX
View attachment 60156

Please make sure you keep us up to date with how you get on. I’ve never heard of ear crystals! Loads of wax, but no crystals.
Good luck with the Christmas Fabre, hope it goes well and you raise loads of money.
When I had a brain scan I was working in a hospital laboratory. The staff put my picture on the notice board with the clinical report attached and they had written ‘insufficient specimen’!
Don’t forget to let us know how you are.
Take care, love B xx

 

[kindred]

Wow, so many events, so much going on and a potential new profession for me ...
Go in to hear one of the activity nurses singing puppet on a string, followed by a resident discussion of who on earth sang that. (??Sandie Shaw??). Then they tell me that Doug the Pug has been found - we have had a desperate and mysterious disappearance of Doug, the favourite (soft toy) dog of one of the residents and I expect Doug was swiped by one of the others ... So all is restored.
It's poetry morning, I read poetry to Keith and he falls asleep.
Sometime after this we have a seminar on the healing power of garlic and who does and who does not flirt.
One of the residents asks who would do a four in a bed and this is followed by a silence and open mouthed stares from the workmen who are rewiring a small area of the nurses station. Discover she meant the song there were two in a bed and the little one said move over ...
Then it changes gear and I am sitting with one of the residents. She is from a military family and tells me that she went with her brother to Ypres and how all the villagers came out at eight o'clock to hear the last post and how overwhelmingly moving it was. And she was crying and I am crying and other visitors are crying ...
I write this in the memory book I am writing for her.
Keith is bright and responsive today, we do have small conversations of sorts and he says thank you for so much to me.
As I prepare to leave, find myself singing those were the days. Another visitor with whom I am firm friends says she envies me my voice and there is something in the way she says it that makes me stop and ask her would she like to sing? She says she has never been able to and I explain to her it is all in the breathing and the pauses and would she like me to teach her? She would, so I take my coat off and make a start.
Singing close to her, looking at each other, she is able to deepen her voice, slow it and give it volume. We will continue next time we are both in. It felt so good!
Lovely visit, lots of conspiratorial giggling with Keith.
Thanks guys, thank you. with love and best, Geraldinexx

 

[Sad Staffs]

Wow, so many events, so much going on and a potential new profession for me ...
Go in to hear one of the activity nurses singing puppet on a string, followed by a resident discussion of who on earth sang that. (??Sandie Shaw??). Then they tell me that Doug the Pug has been found - we have had a desperate and mysterious disappearance of Doug, the favourite (soft toy) dog of one of the residents and I expect Doug was swiped by one of the others ... So all is restored.
It's poetry morning, I read poetry to Keith and he falls asleep.
Sometime after this we have a seminar on the healing power of garlic and who does and who does not flirt.
One of the residents asks who would do a four in a bed and this is followed by a silence and open mouthed stares from the workmen who are rewiring a small area of the nurses station. Discover she meant the song there were two in a bed and the little one said move over ...
Then it changes gear and I am sitting with one of the residents. She is from a military family and tells me that she went with her brother to Ypres and how all the villagers came out at eight o'clock to hear the last post and how overwhelmingly moving it was. And she was crying and I am crying and other visitors are crying ...
I write this in the memory book I am writing for her.
Keith is bright and responsive today, we do have small conversations of sorts and he says thank you for so much to me.
As I prepare to leave, find myself singing those were the days. Another visitor with whom I am firm friends says she envies me my voice and there is something in the way she says it that makes me stop and ask her would she like to sing? She says she has never been able to and I explain to her it is all in the breathing and the pauses and would she like me to teach her? She would, so I take my coat off and make a start.
Singing close to her, looking at each other, she is able to deepen her voice, slow it and give it volume. We will continue next time we are both in. It felt so good!
Lovely visit, lots of conspiratorial giggling with Keith.
Thanks guys, thank you. with love and best, Geraldinexx

What a fab visit today.
Yes, it was bare footed Sandie Shaw. She was in my hay day, or should it be hey day?! Even though I was a fan, I never realised that her name was sandy shore. All these years and I never cottoned on!
Lovely visit with Keith who seemed to be in fine form for you.
And you even spent time giving a singing lesson to one of the residents.
What a treasure you are.
I live part of my day with you visiting Keith in the care home. Hope you don’t mind....
With love, B xx

 

[kindred]

What a fab visit today.
Yes, it was bare footed Sandie Shaw. She was in my hay day, or should it be hey day?! Even though I was a fan, I never realised that her name was sandy shore. All these years and I never cottoned on!
Lovely visit with Keith who seemed to be in fine form for you.
And you even spent time giving a singing lesson to one of the residents.
What a treasure you are.
I live part of my day with you visiting Keith in the care home. Hope you don’t mind....
With love, B xx

Oh thank you my darling and listen, the scales have this instant fallen from my eyes, i NEVER realised it was Sandy Shore ... (Shaw) either ... never cottoned on. Dear oh dear.
I love you being with me when I go to see Keith, just love it. It was one of the visitors I was teaching singing to. Us visitors are a kind of club, you get so close to them so quickly. She has been coming about four times a week to be with her husband, too. She joins in like I do.
And you are with us, darling, you are with us. with love and best, Geraldinexxxx

 

[kindred]

Did not start well. Low energy all round except for the several residents who were really shouting dislike at each other ...
Had a large, strong mug of tea and went around seeing if anyone wanted to sing with me. No takers. So I sang the thank you very much song to those who were awake, thanking them for something lovely about them. Bit more energy. Neither of the activity nurses was in, so bound to be less energy.
I always feel I have to make up for this somehow, but realise this is irrational. Have always told self in life, do not exchange one hell for another ...
Keith wheeled in and looking so lovely in a blue and white shirt. He brings a burst of positivity to us all, singing and drumming. As soon as he realises it is me he gives a beautiful smile and tells me I must remember that they are guilty of gross negligence ...
We sit close to each other and it reminds me of when we were students and every afternoon we would sit close, eating poached eggs on toast (I had one, K had three) while it got dark outside. We both wore student scarves because students did in those days of course.
I adapted those were the days to sing with him about this:
Once upon a time there was a cafe,
Where we used to spend an hour or two,
We'd have poached eggs and tea
and talk about the future we would see ...

It's still a work in progress, guys.
Resident seminar takes place on Bohemian Rhapsody, and then on pudding nightmares ...
I was stroking Keith's arm and he said, how lovely, it's all so lovely today. And he gave me his beautiful blue eyed boy loving smile. He is such a gorgeous man: I am so lucky.
Thanks guys, off to my little church group now. With love and best, Geraldinexxxx

 

[Sad Staffs]

Did not start well. Low energy all round except for the several residents who were really shouting dislike at each other ...
Had a large, strong mug of tea and went around seeing if anyone wanted to sing with me. No takers. So I sang the thank you very much song to those who were awake, thanking them for something lovely about them. Bit more energy. Neither of the activity nurses was in, so bound to be less energy.
I always feel I have to make up for this somehow, but realise this is irrational. Have always told self in life, do not exchange one hell for another ...
Keith wheeled in and looking so lovely in a blue and white shirt. He brings a burst of positivity to us all, singing and drumming. As soon as he realises it is me he gives a beautiful smile and tells me I must remember that they are guilty of gross negligence ...
We sit close to each other and it reminds me of when we were students and every afternoon we would sit close, eating poached eggs on toast (I had one, K had three) while it got dark outside. We both wore student scarves because students did in those days of course.
I adapted those were the days to sing with him about this:
Once upon a time there was a cafe,
Where we used to spend an hour or two,
We'd have poached eggs and tea
and talk about the future we would see ...

It's still a work in progress, guys.
Resident seminar takes place on Bohemian Rhapsody, and then on pudding nightmares ...
I was stroking Keith's arm and he said, how lovely, it's all so lovely today. And he gave me his beautiful blue eyed boy loving smile. He is such a gorgeous man: I am so lucky.
Thanks guys, off to my little church group now. With love and best, Geraldinexxxx

You have to be the most positive person I have ever known, except perhaps Theresa May!
I’m sure that you don’t always feel positive and there are sad and dark times, but your posts are uplifting for all of us on here.
I’ve said it before, but you are such a treasure.
I mean it Geraldine... I’m not just saying this for flattery or something to waffle on about.
The way you talk about Keith, your blue eyed boy and his loving smile. It warms my heart....
Have a lovely weekend, with much love, Barbara xx

 

[kindred]

You have to be the most positive person I have ever known, except perhaps Theresa May!
I’m sure that you don’t always feel positive and there are sad and dark times, but your posts are uplifting for all of us on here.
I’ve said it before, but you are such a treasure.
I mean it Geraldine... I’m not just saying this for flattery or something to waffle on about.
The way you talk about Keith, your blue eyed boy and his loving smile. It warms my heart....
Have a lovely weekend, with much love, Barbara xx

Oh bless you my sweetheart, thank you so very much, thank you. I believe there are alternative realities in life, so choose one that works. Mine is simply that I am a 72 year old woman doing useful and loving work. That works for me. Thank you so much and thinking of you. with love and best, Geraldinexxx

 

[Toony Oony]

Hi @kindred
Sounds as if you had a good visit with the lovely Keith - mmmm ... I adore poached eggs on toast. Brings back happy memories as before Mum got poorly she always made that for my lunch when I visited her, as she knew how much I enjoyed it.

The gold nugget from your post was 'do not exchange one hell for another' - I will carry that one with me ...

Thought you might like to know how the Christmas Fair went yesterday? We had 7 stalls in the Cinema (mine included) and Tombola and cakes in the Foyer. It was not a fund raiser as such, more a 'Festive Shop Experience' for the residents and relatives. They all enjoyed looking, touching and feeling my handicrafts - and as I priced my things really cheap, I did a roaring trade in patchwork cushions in Christmas fabrics with pom pom trim, lavender bags, hanging embroidered hearts, small fabric bags, Christmas button flower baskets and Christmas owls! I know all the residents by name and they know me, it was a hard job not to just say 'Here, just take it' to those who did not have funds to buy (I may yet find a way!!) It looked lovely in there, and just like a proper Fair but on a mini scale. As I was packing up, the Home Manager said he wanted the 6 Christmas cushions that remained for the CH. Nice! Mum came down and sat with me behind the stall, and my daughter joined us - as 3 generations we caused quite a stir, and of course we told everyone how we are 'only girls of only girls' way back into our family history.

It was great fun, and as usual, some of the residents' comments were hilarious! Fired with success the CH are planning a summer fair on a bigger scale ...... I will have to start making some more stuff!

Enjoy your weekend everyone
XX

 

[kindred]

Hi @kindred
Sounds as if you had a good visit with the lovely Keith - mmmm ... I adore poached eggs on toast. Brings back happy memories as before Mum got poorly she always made that for my lunch when I visited her, as she knew how much I enjoyed it.

The gold nugget from your post was 'do not exchange one hell for another' - I will carry that one with me ...

Thought you might like to know how the Christmas Fair went yesterday? We had 7 stalls in the Cinema (mine included) and Tombola and cakes in the Foyer. It was not a fund raiser as such, more a 'Festive Shop Experience' for the residents and relatives. They all enjoyed looking, touching and feeling my handicrafts - and as I priced my things really cheap, I did a roaring trade in patchwork cushions in Christmas fabrics with pom pom trim, lavender bags, hanging embroidered hearts, small fabric bags, Christmas button flower baskets and Christmas owls! I know all the residents by name and they know me, it was a hard job not to just say 'Here, just take it' to those who did not have funds to buy (I may yet find a way!!) It looked lovely in there, and just like a proper Fair but on a mini scale. As I was packing up, the Home Manager said he wanted the 6 Christmas cushions that remained for the CH. Nice! Mum came down and sat with me behind the stall, and my daughter joined us - as 3 generations we caused quite a stir, and of course we told everyone how we are 'only girls of only girls' way back into our family history.

It was great fun, and as usual, some of the residents' comments were hilarious! Fired with success the CH are planning a summer fair on a bigger scale ...... I will have to start making some more stuff!

Enjoy your weekend everyone
XX

Oh that sounds absolutely wonderful, generous, high spirited and fun, fun fun. I love it so much. Well done for your handicrafts. Oh those cushions sound just wonderfuol. I love it so so much. Well done, brilliant to hear. And a summer fair to come. Wondrous. Thank you so very much. with love, Geraldinexx

 

[AliceA]

Did not start well. Low energy all round except for the several residents who were really shouting dislike at each other ...
Had a large, strong mug of tea and went around seeing if anyone wanted to sing with me. No takers. So I sang the thank you very much song to those who were awake, thanking them for something lovely about them. Bit more energy. Neither of the activity nurses was in, so bound to be less energy.
I always feel I have to make up for this somehow, but realise this is irrational. Have always told self in life, do not exchange one hell for another ...
Keith wheeled in and looking so lovely in a blue and white shirt. He brings a burst of positivity to us all, singing and drumming. As soon as he realises it is me he gives a beautiful smile and tells me I must remember that they are guilty of gross negligence ...
We sit close to each other and it reminds me of when we were students and every afternoon we would sit close, eating poached eggs on toast (I had one, K had three) while it got dark outside. We both wore student scarves because students did in those days of course.
I adapted those were the days to sing with him about this:
Once upon a time there was a cafe,
Where we used to spend an hour or two,
We'd have poached eggs and tea
and talk about the future we would see ...

It's still a work in progress, guys.
Resident seminar takes place on Bohemian Rhapsody, and then on pudding nightmares ...
I was stroking Keith's arm and he said, how lovely, it's all so lovely today. And he gave me his beautiful blue eyed boy loving smile. He is such a gorgeous man: I am so lucky.
Thanks guys, off to my little church group now. With love and best, Geraldinexxxx

Xxx

 

[AliceA]

Hi @kindred
Sounds as if you had a good visit with the lovely Keith - mmmm ... I adore poached eggs on toast. Brings back happy memories as before Mum got poorly she always made that for my lunch when I visited her, as she knew how much I enjoyed it.

The gold nugget from your post was 'do not exchange one hell for another' - I will carry that one with me ...

Thought you might like to know how the Christmas Fair went yesterday? We had 7 stalls in the Cinema (mine included) and Tombola and cakes in the Foyer. It was not a fund raiser as such, more a 'Festive Shop Experience' for the residents and relatives. They all enjoyed looking, touching and feeling my handicrafts - and as I priced my things really cheap, I did a roaring trade in patchwork cushions in Christmas fabrics with pom pom trim, lavender bags, hanging embroidered hearts, small fabric bags, Christmas button flower baskets and Christmas owls! I know all the residents by name and they know me, it was a hard job not to just say 'Here, just take it' to those who did not have funds to buy (I may yet find a way!!) It looked lovely in there, and just like a proper Fair but on a mini scale. As I was packing up, the Home Manager said he wanted the 6 Christmas cushions that remained for the CH. Nice! Mum came down and sat with me behind the stall, and my daughter joined us - as 3 generations we caused quite a stir, and of course we told everyone how we are 'only girls of only girls' way back into our family history.

It was great fun, and as usual, some of the residents' comments were hilarious! Fired with success the CH are planning a summer fair on a bigger scale ...... I will have to start making some more stuff!

Enjoy your weekend everyone
XX

Well done, how lovely that you were all involved. Xxx

 

[kindred]

So there I was at home, waiting for my son to come down and we would visit K together when the phone rang. It was Keith's home to say he had just had a fall, he'd tried to get up and fell and banged his head ... So I stuck a notice on the front door to my son saying where I was and why and got there as fast as I could ...
There's a lump but not terrible, although during the afternoon it certainly got more purple. The nurse was on hand all the time putting stuff on it. Keith himself was very happy, he'd managed to stand up, even if he did take a fall. In fact, he's been trying to stand up all week and has been feeling so full of high spirits. Trouble is, this is when accidents happen.
Once, when he was at home, I came home from work, he came down the stairs, put his arms out and shouted SHE'S HOME!! and he fell down the rest of the stairs ...
Son caught up with us and we had good time with Keith who was chattering away. I did my usual Saturday concert for the residents. Now I'm home and my heart is still beating wildly. In fact one of the nurses said I must not react in that way if I can avoid it otherwise I'll be the one with the heart attack and the accident! Wise words, folks.
love and best, back on Monday. Thank you so much. Geraldinexxxx