Please don't throw me away, breaking my promise

[jugglingmum]

Am completely knackered, must start acting my age or something!

I think this is a silly saying for adults, which means be boring and leaving the fun things in life behind.

For teenagers having temper tantrums, very applicable (I'm told they grow out of them!)

No Corporation Tax for me today, day off, I don't think I had to learn the tax rates when I did my CA exams, we had 'open book' - but only just introduced. Still had to do all the exams in one sitting though, whereas now they can take them one at a time. I started my tax exams, but children came along, and never did get round to taking them.

 

[kindred]

Never, never, never... I don’t know what age you are, but.... we all love you just the way you are. I think that’s a song? One for your repertoire perhaps?
What a fab visit. How lovely that they created a G and K special corner. I hope you took pictures for your memory album.
I want to hear you singing Delilah. It’s in my mind, I’m singing along, just can’t visualise you, but it will come, one day.
I’ve had a bad day, following my high from yesterday. Too much to think about, everything ends up in a fight, verbally thank goodness.
Your post lifts my spirit.
So special Geraldine....
Much love to my friend, Barbara xx

Oh how wonderful to hear from you! It will come one day. I'm 5 foot three, slim, glasses, curlyish grey hair, and wear bright red lipstick and a red rabbit brooch on my white t shirt.
I'm so sorry about your low day today, I know, it's almost as though too much positive energy takes it out of us ... Hearing from you lifts my spirits, sweetheart, thank you so very much. with love and best, Geraldinexxxx

 

[kindred]

I think this is a silly saying for adults, which means be boring and leaving the fun things in life behind.

For teenagers having temper tantrums, very applicable (I'm told they grow out of them!)

No Corporation Tax for me today, day off, I don't think I had to learn the tax rates when I did my CA exams, we had 'open book' - but only just introduced. Still had to do all the exams in one sitting though, whereas now they can take them one at a time. I started my tax exams, but children came along, and never did get round to taking them.

Oh yes, same with Keith, all in one sitting. He did manage his tax exams, thought about an MBA but then we agreed life too short ... He ended up working for the MoD on sole contractors for planes etc. Lovely that you are a chartered too! My goodness I wonder what the tax rates are like now, must be a huge undertaking just to understand them?So so good to hear from you, thank you. with love, Geraldinexx

 

[kindred]

So as I go in today, I hear one of the residents shout:
I DON'T WANT TO ROLL OUT THE BLOODY BARREL ... I WANT TO GO HOME ...
OK, so it may be that kind of morning.
I've taken in my lovely squirrel puppet and he goes down well as I say hello to everyone. Keith is talkative and big smile and I tell him he is my lovely blue eyed boy and he cries and put my arm around him and he smiles again.
Later, one of the visitors asks me how long since I had a proper conversation with Keith and so I say, oh well a couple of years and they get into pity, which sucks, and then one of the nurses comes along and says they all love me and how much I help.
You know, we all know, you have to be so careful with specific questions, they can hurt hurt hurt.
AND THEN what should come on the tv with the sound right down low but with subtitles is that wonderful, gritty and bleak film with Burt Lancaster and Jeanne Moreau - THE TRAIN. Now, how do I manage watching that at the same time as spending my usual time with individuals.
Fortunately the subtitles help. Do you remember this film guys, about the Nazi theft of art from paris - true story.
Afterwards I do a concert and people clap and sing along and that is so lovely. Then before i go I do a special concert just for Keith and as I leave he shouts behind me, IT WON'T HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY!!
Nice day sweethearts, Thank you so much for being here with me. See you again please on Monday.
with love and best, Geraldinexxxx

 

[karaokePete]

That was a nice read Geraldine. I'm glad your day went well.

 

[kindred]

That was a nice read Geraldine. I'm glad your day went well.

Thank you! Interestingly enough, the day started in a horrible way. First of all, I encountered one of my neighbours all but crawling down the road in flimsy clothes and it is very cold here. I got her back indoors and it is evident that she is developing dementia. Yet she seemed fine a few weeks ago when we were talking about community transport. And then another of my friends came to have a cup of tea in local caff and it is evident that her dementia is increasing ... And then on my way to see Keith, another neighbour who has a vintage morris has had her bumper completely mangled by someone, hit and run, pushing past her in a van. So a morning of distress and was so very glad to get to the less chaotic and loving atmosphere of Keith's home! Thank you so much for being with me, Karaoke Pete. Gxxx

 

[karaokePete]

Jeepers, I'm glad things got better Geraldine!

 

[karaokePete]

It's funny how things can turn on a sixpence.

Last night we were at karaoke and that selfish streak that can become evident with dementia was rearing it's ugly head with my wife and threatening to turn the night into a nightmare.

I suggested going to bar near our apartment that we haven't been to in years and we were welcomed like long lost friends. A couple of songs later and everything was smelling of roses again. I even called my wife up to the mike and had her sing a chorus of my favourite Greek song with me. She has heard it so often that she was able to sing along, even though she doesn't know what it means. Instead of a nightmare, we had a lovely end to the night.

 

[kindred]

It's funny how things can turn on a sixpence.

Last night we were at karaoke and that selfish streak that can become evident with dementia was rearing it's ugly head with my wife and threatening to turn the night into a nightmare.

I suggested going to bar near our apartment that we haven't been to in years and we were welcomed like long lost friends. A couple of songs later and everything was smelling of roses again. I even called my wife up to the mike and had her sing a chorus of my favourite Greek song with me. She has heard it so often that she was able to sing along, even though she doesn't know what it means. Instead of a nightmare, we had a lovely end to the night.

Oh this is so so right. It really can spin on a sixpence and so often, times we dread or feel apprehensive about become so happy, like this. Being behind the mike is a powerful feeling isn't it. I am wondering if there is such a thing as a portable mike not attached to a cable. I could certainly use this though do have a well projecting voice.
I loved to hear about your welcome at that bar, too.
Life does have magic, even under our circumstances. Thank you with all heart. Geraldinex

 

[Sad Staffs]

So as I go in today, I hear one of the residents shout:
I DON'T WANT TO ROLL OUT THE BLOODY BARREL ... I WANT TO GO HOME ...
OK, so it may be that kind of morning.
I've taken in my lovely squirrel puppet and he goes down well as I say hello to everyone. Keith is talkative and big smile and I tell him he is my lovely blue eyed boy and he cries and put my arm around him and he smiles again.
Later, one of the visitors asks me how long since I had a proper conversation with Keith and so I say, oh well a couple of years and they get into pity, which sucks, and then one of the nurses comes along and says they all love me and how much I help.
You know, we all know, you have to be so careful with specific questions, they can hurt hurt hurt.
AND THEN what should come on the tv with the sound right down low but with subtitles is that wonderful, gritty and bleak film with Burt Lancaster and Jeanne Moreau - THE TRAIN. Now, how do I manage watching that at the same time as spending my usual time with individuals.
Fortunately the subtitles help. Do you remember this film guys, about the Nazi theft of art from paris - true story.
Afterwards I do a concert and people clap and sing along and that is so lovely. Then before i go I do a special concert just for Keith and as I leave he shouts behind me, IT WON'T HAPPEN IMMEDIATELY!!
Nice day sweethearts, Thank you so much for being here with me. See you again please on Monday.
with love and best, Geraldinexxxx

Another lovely, interesting, touching, heartwarming, amusing, thought provoking, post. And my comments don’t do your posts justice. Thank you so much Geraldine, love Barbara xx

 

[kindred]

Another lovely, interesting, touching, heartwarming, amusing, thought provoking, post. And my comments don’t do your posts justice. Thank you so much Geraldine, love Barbara xx

Bless you sweetheart. Your encouragement is golden, believe me. with love, Geraldinexxx

 

[kindred]

Well today as I arrive after work there is a seminar taking place in the Resident Lounge. This time it is on Bonnie and Clyde. In one of the pauses, I burst into the song ... and from the area where Keith is, I can hear him sort of La la la ing it with me!
After tea and cake, we continue with this and somehow it becomes a yodeling session ...
Then I sing All through the Night as we have two Welsh Residents and my goodness that got some singalongs. I must get the words to this.
Nurses tell me Keith has been very happy this morning and how well he is. He certainly looks it. My goodness, I think as I walk home, Keith and I have never been so well loved as we are in this nursing home. My goodness.
More soon guys, keep warm, bloomin cold down this neck of the woods.
Geraldine with love, xxxxx

 

[AliceA]

So comforting to hear. Xxx

 

[Sad Staffs]

Well today as I arrive after work there is a seminar taking place in the Resident Lounge. This time it is on Bonnie and Clyde. In one of the pauses, I burst into the song ... and from the area where Keith is, I can hear him sort of La la la ing it with me!
After tea and cake, we continue with this and somehow it becomes a yodeling session ...
Then I sing All through the Night as we have two Welsh Residents and my goodness that got some singalongs. I must get the words to this.
Nurses tell me Keith has been very happy this morning and how well he is. He certainly looks it. My goodness, I think as I walk home, Keith and I have never been so well loved as we are in this nursing home. My goodness.
More soon guys, keep warm, bloomin cold down this neck of the woods.
Geraldine with love, xxxxx

Lovely post Geraldine.... I need to read some warm happy words at the moment.
If my husband was in Keith’s care home I would be the size of a barrage balloon with all that tea and cake.
It is heart warming to know that Keith is in an excellent pleasant and happy home with such kind staff, and that you feel it is like one big family.
Feeling well loved.... how good is that.
Love B xx

 

[kindred]

So comforting to hear. Xxx

Thank you so much Alice, I do so appreciate your posts. with love Geraldinexxx

 

[kindred]

Lovely post Geraldine.... I need to read some warm happy words at the moment.
If my husband was in Keith’s care home I would be the size of a barrage balloon with all that tea and cake.
It is heart warming to know that Keith is in an excellent pleasant and happy home with such kind staff, and that you feel it is like one big family.
Feeling well loved.... how good is that.
Love B xx

Thank you B, thank you so much. It is such a loving, zany and accepting place. Thank you with all heart for responding. With love, Geraldinexxx

 

[kindred]

In I go nice and early and great stuff, it's a trivia day again - funny questions about trivial things! Keith looks marvellous, all his youthful good looks minus hair. Hair was lovely, dark brown and shiny. He makes a really good transfer to the chair this morning so that is such a relief, I feed him a big breakfast including baked beans and sing Toreador as I do this. Don't ask!
At some point I find myself in the middle of the trivia quiz playing the part of a chameleon and demonstrating how the tongue of the chameleon draws up butterflies. Great applause so am obliged to repeat this Oscar Winning performance.
Have written down the words to All Through the Night, so sing that and residents seem pleased. After lunch, we send for the chef to give him a huge round of applause because lunch was so lovely and hardly any food sent back ...
As I leave, Keith asks me Are you ready to go to bed?
Yes, I say, of course. And he says bless you.
Nice visit.
Off tomorrow as do longer day at work but back Thursday and can't wait!
Christmas decorations going up now!
with love and thank you so much, Geraldinexx Please guys, never imagine that my heart is not broken in so many ways but Keith and I always planned a retirement of spending our time together, talking, laughing and being like we did as students together at Uni. We didn't envisage it would be in a nursing home, but we are still doing what we planned ...xxxx

 

[AliceA]

In I go nice and early and great stuff, it's a trivia day again - funny questions about trivial things! Keith looks marvellous, all his youthful good looks minus hair. Hair was lovely, dark brown and shiny. He makes a really good transfer to the chair this morning so that is such a relief, I feed him a big breakfast including baked beans and sing Toreador as I do this. Don't ask!
At some point I find myself in the middle of the trivia quiz playing the part of a chameleon and demonstrating how the tongue of the chameleon draws up butterflies. Great applause so am obliged to repeat this Oscar Winning performance.
Have written down the words to All Through the Night, so sing that and residents seem pleased. After lunch, we send for the chef to give him a huge round of applause because lunch was so lovely and hardly any food sent back ...
As I leave, Keith asks me Are you ready to go to bed?
Yes, I say, of course. And he says bless you.
Nice visit.
Off tomorrow as do longer day at work but back Thursday and can't wait!
Christmas decorations going up now!
with love and thank you so much, Geraldinexx Please guys, never imagine that my heart is not broken in so many ways but Keith and I always planned a retirement of spending our time together, talking, laughing and being like we did as students together at Uni. We didn't envisage it would be in a nursing home, but we are still doing what we planned ...xxxx

Your positive view is a tonic, hope you take a big swig yourself ! Xxx

 

[kindred]

Your positive view is a tonic, hope you take a big swig yourself ! Xxx

Your positive view is a tonic, hope you take a big swig yourself ! Xxx

Oh thank you. You said about a positive view. Something I can do possibly more easily than most is accept Keith as he is now. This is how he is and I don't try to do comparison with how it was once. I try to accept that this is the man as he is now. This, I am sure, comes from trying to find some mothering from a poor mum who was paralysed and could not ever hug me, so I would hug her of course, trying to find something from hard situations. Also I have taught children with profound handicaps and it's no use wishing they were normal, we must love what they are not get eroded by regret at what they aren't. If you see what I mean. So so good to hear from you. With love and best, Geraldinexx

 

[Sad Staffs]

In I go nice and early and great stuff, it's a trivia day again - funny questions about trivial things! Keith looks marvellous, all his youthful good looks minus hair. Hair was lovely, dark brown and shiny. He makes a really good transfer to the chair this morning so that is such a relief, I feed him a big breakfast including baked beans and sing Toreador as I do this. Don't ask!
At some point I find myself in the middle of the trivia quiz playing the part of a chameleon and demonstrating how the tongue of the chameleon draws up butterflies. Great applause so am obliged to repeat this Oscar Winning performance.
Have written down the words to All Through the Night, so sing that and residents seem pleased. After lunch, we send for the chef to give him a huge round of applause because lunch was so lovely and hardly any food sent back ...
As I leave, Keith asks me Are you ready to go to bed?
Yes, I say, of course. And he says bless you.
Nice visit.
Off tomorrow as do longer day at work but back Thursday and can't wait!
Christmas decorations going up now!
with love and thank you so much, Geraldinexx Please guys, never imagine that my heart is not broken in so many ways but Keith and I always planned a retirement of spending our time together, talking, laughing and being like we did as students together at Uni. We didn't envisage it would be in a nursing home, but we are still doing what we planned ...xxxx

Geraldine,
your final paragraph ... it’s just.... beautiful, it has really touched me.
You truly are one special person. Keith is a very lucky man to have someone so understanding, caring and loving. I feel privileged to share your journey with Keith.
Thank you, with much love, B xx