Our magic bitter sweet moments 🥰🥰🥰

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,161
0
Surrey
I wonder at what age young people don’t know about this??? I shall ask some of the young carers at the home 🤣🤣
 

Rachael03

Registered User
Apr 17, 2023
97
0
Well there we go...I assumed reindeer would be dangerous so I've learned something new! I look forward to the portraits when you have chosen one.

The post rings true. It still shocks me how one day can raise so many feelings to the surface but it does..it doesn't help that its hard to ignore one dimensionsal christmas marketing at every corner, making us feel we should be full of joy (in matching pj's lol). Good idea not putting up the decorations...save the hassle of packing them away after 🤪 and can enjoy the ones at the home..Best of both worlds ❤️

I tried christmas crafting with my mum and my 2 older nephews. I was so proud with the salt dough Xmas tree decorations that we qll made but I learned mum doesn't care much for arts and crafts 🙈 I had to bully her into painting her one then she huffed and painted it one colour with no glittery additions, despite my encouraging (she loves glittery things!).

I still might try homemade Xmas cards though. Glutton for punishment?!!
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,531
0
Kent
Hi @Rachael03

You said " It still shocks me how one day can raise so many feelings to the surface but it does."
If you are a full time carer there are v often many more than fours seasons in a day!
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,161
0
Surrey
I chatted to a non carer colleague/ friend today - she asked about Christmas - I wasn’t sure quite how to answer….she’s had her own troubles in life and has made Christmas into a huge comfort hit I think…..bless her, she has faithfully kept extending the hand of friendship so although not a natural friendship I’ve appreciated that she hasn’t dropped me.

Funnily enough @Rachael03 mum has been doing her own painting decorations today. I was a bit jealous, my work client cancelled so I had a dull afternoon at the computer …..doing the waste of time paperwork that the on'y advantage in doing is to keep management happy 🤔🤔

We finally finished Mum’s Christmas cards. The past 2 years I’ve had less enthusiasm but she can just about still write her name so I figured lets do them whilst she can….the sticker cards have been so easy and fun too.

The home here is definitely a hard core one. Apparently a full on fight between 2 lady residents this afternoon 😱😱 Too much Christmas party stimulation me thinks. Carers clearly affected but not horrified ….
 

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jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,499
0
Southampton
I chatted to a non carer colleague/ friend today - she asked about Christmas - I wasn’t sure quite how to answer….she’s had her own troubles in life and has made Christmas into a huge comfort hit I think…..bless her, she has faithfully kept extending the hand of friendship so although not a natural friendship I’ve appreciated that she hasn’t dropped me.

Funnily enough @Rachael03 mum has been doing her own painting decorations today. I was a bit jealous, my work client cancelled so I had a dull afternoon at the computer …..doing the waste of time paperwork that the on'y advantage in doing is to keep management happy 🤔🤔

We finally finished her Christmas cards. The past 2 years I’ve had less enthusiasm but she can just about write her name so I figured lets do them whilst she can….the sticker cards have been so easy and fun too.

The home here is definitely a hard core one. Apparently a full on fight between 2 lady residents this afternoon 😱😱 Too much Christmas party stimulation me thinks. Carers clearly affected but not horrified ….
they are good. i think sometimes it gets a bit pressurized in the home and sometimes it boils over. hopefully they are both fine and the staff dealt with it swiftly.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,049
0
South coast
The home here is definitely a hard core one. Apparently a full on fight between 2 lady residents this afternoon 😱😱 Too much Christmas party stimulation me thinks. Carers clearly affected but not horrified ….
Sounds similar to the one mum was in. There were two ladies there that often seemed to rub each other up the wrong way so that there would be "zimmer frames at noon"....
It was amazing to see how quickly the staff arrived and they seemed to sense when trouble was brewing so that they could head both the ladies away from each other. All the other residents seemed totally oblivious
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,531
0
Kent
Our local "well being" charity holds in person and zoom meetings for carers to take time out, if they can, and sit and have a coffee and a chat. Most of the carers seem to be carers for children (including adult children) with autism, some for Parkinson's sufferers, some for a relative with other mental health issues, etc.

I have only attended the zoom sessions, as the in person ones are scheduled at a non-convenient time for me.

Well, today I went to their gathering in person for Christmas. I met a few of the carers that I've only seen on zoom. One lady carer said that she hadn't at first recognised me, having only seen my upper half on the screen. Quick as flash (if that's the right word) another lady said, well at least he's wearing trousers!

A pleasant cup of tea, mince pies, chat/banter etc and then rush back to see how OH was getting on. I don't like going out for too long when I haven't got someone to be with my OH, Might even try it again as the Dementia Carers charity in my area have scheduled an in person Christmas gathering during next week.
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,161
0
Surrey
I’m glad you got out @Chizz even if for a short period. Sometimes these events are suited to a quick ‘pop in’, grab a mince pie and a smile.

It sounds like thIngs feel a bit more of a strain for you at the moment 😢
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,531
0
Kent
Thanks @sdmhred for asking/observing

It used to be:
Some days are difficult, and some days aren't that good!

But now, many days aren't bad at all, as OH not wandering around "doing" stuff that did need doing, and much more sleeping.
 

Rachael03

Registered User
Apr 17, 2023
97
0
Hi @Rachael03

You said " It still shocks me how one day can raise so many feelings to the surface but it does."
If you are a full time carer there are v often many more than fours seasons in a day!
Ah @Chizz That is a good metaphor to describe the rollercoaster of full time carer strain to someone (like me) who isn't in that boat!

i'm sure it must be tiring going through the daily highs and lows. Well done for going to the carers catch up, im aure not easy ans some anxiety leaving your OH alone too..I'm not a mince pie fan myself so I'd have been searching for chocolate or biscuits 😊
 

sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,161
0
Surrey
So we had a successful day yesterday for mum’s 84th birthday 🥳 The home made a fuss and her floor had a lovely cake and she had balloons etc. I took in a salmon dinner in my slow cooker and we relaxed with my sister in the evening.

it made me reflect on the past few years - her last ’normal’ birthday was 2019 when oblivious to covid developing we had a lovely family meal in a Thai restaurant. Mum at this stage having to leave notes everywhere but we assumed that was normal…

2020 - I escaped from Tier 4 just in time to join mum and dad in tier 2 for an afternoon tea in a deserted hotel. dad bless him was very confused why he wasn’t allowed a beer when he wasn’t havjng ‘substantial meals’…..work questioned me as to my travel date 😡😡 whilst all the time Boris was partying! Mum not able to learn anything new and increasingly struggling with complex tasks…but we were all preoccupied with keeping dad safe from covid…

2021 - I brought mum out of her respite stay a few days early to escape omicron…..we all new a diagnosis was on its way…..but lovely to have her home with me encamped as carer


2022- mum started her birthday with a lapse in consciousness 😢😢 we now know this was her adrenal Insuffeciency….glad I was able to keep her out of hospital and we enjoyed an afternoon tea at home later in the day…..mum beginning to struggle with conversation…

And now…..

a Happy Birthday to mum who makes the most of her difficult situation….which makes caring so much easier…
 

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jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,499
0
Southampton
So we had a successful day yesterday for mum’s 84th birthday 🥳 The home made a fuss and her floor had a lovely cake and she had balloons etc. I took in a salmon dinner in my slow cooker and we relaxed with my sister in the evening.

it made me reflect on the past few years - her last ’normal’ birthday was 2019 when oblivious to covid developing we had a lovely family meal in a Thai restaurant. Mum at this stage having to leave notes everywhere but we assumed that was normal…

2020 - I escaped from Tier 4 just in time to join mum and dad in tier 2 for an afternoon tea in a deserted hotel. dad bless him was very confused why he wasn’t allowed a beer when he wasn’t havjng ‘substantial meals’…..work questioned me as to my travel date 😡😡 whilst all the time Boris was partying! Mum not able to learn anything new and increasingly struggling with complex tasks…but we were all preoccupied with keeping dad safe from covid…

2021 - I brought mum out of her respite stay a few days early to escape omicron…..we all new a diagnosis was on its way…..but lovely to have her home with me encamped as carer


2022- mum started her birthday with a lapse in consciousness 😢😢 we now know this was her adrenal Insuffeciency….glad I was able to keep her out of hospital and we enjoyed an afternoon tea at home later in the day…..mum beginning to struggle with conversation…

And now…..

a Happy Birthday to mum who makes the most of her difficult situation….which makes caring so much easier…
happy birthday to your mum.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,257
0
Nottinghamshire
Looking back over past birthdays really shows how dementia progresses. I did that with my mum and her birthdays on my thread and could really see the changes.
It sounds like you all had a really good time.
 
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sdmhred

Registered User
Jan 26, 2022
2,161
0
Surrey
Funny old day today. my sil sent A message re Christmas food. Nothing wrong with it at all, but set me off and I had a small cry…..overdue I think. Realised I have been sticking my head in the sand about Christmas. I don’t think I want to bother with it this year. I am quite happy to sit and have a pasta bake or something with mum 🙈🙈🤣🤣 I Have absolutely no energy today or desire to spend ages helping to prepare a Christmas dinner etc etc….my brother has hired an Airbnb for us to stay in….the same last year which worked out ok but Im just not up for it…..next year maybe I will take off somewhere…….
 

Chizz

Registered User
Jan 10, 2023
3,531
0
Kent
Funny old day today. my sil sent A message re Christmas food. Nothing wrong with it at all, but set me off and I had a small cry…..overdue I think. Realised I have been sticking my head in the sand about Christmas. I don’t think I want to bother with it this year. I am quite happy to sit and have a pasta bake or something with mum 🙈🙈🤣🤣 I Have absolutely no energy today or desire to spend ages helping to prepare a Christmas dinner etc etc….my brother has hired an Airbnb for us to stay in….the same last year which worked out ok but Im just not up for it…..next year maybe I will take off somewhere…….
In my humble opinion @sdmhred you should try to do whatever you can + mum as long as you can - sorry I know there is no "should" and it's rude of me to even suggest what anybody else might consider. Sorry

In my book, for my OH and her deterioration, the 5 family birthdays in January is as far ahead as I can think, let alone next Christmas (2024) - so far away, it's not yet on my horizon - and for all I know my OH might not see next Christmas.