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Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Tin, Jul 16, 2014.
Wow she's inventive. Will she go hunting for them?
Doubt it, needs a ladder to get up there. I have left a few very big ones out. don't think she could push these into the toilet, but will be interesting to see if she will try!
Just had one of those full circle things. As a teenager, to get away from parents I would spend a lot of time in my bedroom playing my records, doing my homework etc and late at night listening to my small radio under the blankets, just realised that at 63 I am doing almost the same thing! This time to get away from the sundowning. Had very little if any this last week, but today mum is anxious about getting the dog into the car, so I am sitting it out in my bedroom - unfortunately no record player!
Tonight its a lot of back and forth every minute or so putting mum back to bed, still doing it! she keeps coming into my bedroom announcing her arrival and in and out of other rooms. A run of bad nights and sleep aids have not helped. Think tomorrow I will be buying more door locks, got to. She has no idea what she is doing, of course to me with no sleep yet tonight, it looks like she is doing this on purpose, all this wandering is accompanied by a lot of chatter. There is no anxiety, just a lot of chatter and emptying drawers So new door handles with working key locks tomorrow and then get someone to fit them, at least then I will be able to stop her entering my room. 1.30 a.m and she is still moving around chatting, all bright and sparky, its like she has had a few drinks. Don't think I'll be seeing my bed any time soon, so going to sit here and watch rubbish on t.v nothing else I can do, cannot give her another sleeping pill and I am definitely past the times when I would start ironing or laundry at this early hour. Going to try one more time to put her back to bed, wish me luck.
Finally got to sleep around 3.30a.m, but mum woke me around 6. Did the usual change pads, cup of tea and a few biscuits, I went back to bed for further hour. Mum's room is a bit of a mess a lot of clothes on the floor, unmade bed and I cannot find my slippers! She must have slipped into my room while I was sleeping and took them. In an hour or so will get my act together and go tidy her room.
It is what it is! That's the TRUTH!
Just always remember your own truth, your own heart....your mum knows that...she just can't comprehend his! She is so so confident with you that she feels able to say or do anything...safe in your love for her! Be proud you know in your heart that your heart is true....
Thank you Lemondrop, these days my mum is not as obsessive about my brother as she used to be, but it is still there. When he visits, which is usually every month, she only has to see him and for a little while after he leaves she talks about him, wanting to know when he will be back, but it does not last long. The thing that has lasted though is that my brother drives a white car and every white one we see she thinks is his and tries to get into it! Parked next to one last week and as we were returning to our car so was the owner getting into his white car, poor mum thought it was my brother and could not understand why he drove off leaving her with me.
The joys of being the one that cares! It does weigh you down from week/day/hour/ min....time and time again...But...EMPATHY....not many have that special gift!
Mum wants what she has already got!
At moment wearing a nice warm jumper and trousers - She wants to go shop for a nice warm jumper and trousers.
Nice cup of tea - she already has one in her hands.
Her speech pattern is so bad and so mixed up now, but can still work out most of what she is saying/asking. Even with the above I know that she really means already has instead of want.
She slept for 9-10 hours last night which probably means she will not sleep so well tonight. Really beneficial when she gets a good night's sleep, pleasant and content the next day.
I wonder is she trying to express enjoying her cup of tea and liking her jumper and getting the words wrong. Speaking of wrong I hope you are wrong and that she sleeps really well tonight. x
Well that's the way I see it, 'liking' instead of 'wanting' Hope I am wrong about the sleep pattern tonight, although she has had a nap this afternoon. While sleeping I noticed she has huge bags under her eyes!! She is a little anxious at the moment, pestering the dog so I have locked the garden gate and letting her wander to and from.
Searching hard for my slippers, where has she put them! If not in the house then will have to look around the garden. Did find my old mobile phone though, she had pt it inside a cushion cover, only found it because I thought it was time to remove and wash!
To give your mum her full due she is very inventive! X
Restless and maybe a little manic mother today. Started off the day having a moan about things- she loves a good old moan and then slipped into a loop of - what's that, where are you, where is the dog, I'm Hungry. Also been fiddling and moving a few things around, found visiting dog's basket on the dining table. Reading aloud all the tv programme credits.
Bought a 'Cabin Hook' today for my bedroom door. Not really keen on fitting this, but no choice, have to keep her out of my bedroom in middle of the night, last night she started wandering about 1.30 a.m first with a need to go to toilet and then afraid that was it. She did stay in her bedroom and I managed to sleep through some of it, but a bad case of indigestion kept me awake for a long time.
Why do falls happen out of sight! Found mum down on the lawn this morning, she was trying to pick up dog poo!!?? No damage, just a bit shocked, me not her. So to take my mind off how bad it could have been, I cleared out my attic, well sort off. Got a nice little pile for the tip - two video players that have been up there for over 10 years, think it is safe to say I will not be using either of them again. A load of clothes that are way to small for me and hats, so many hats and I don't suit hats, but weddings seem to demand them, mum is now walking around the house with 2 on her head.
I have a large attic that is boarded and perfect for day to day storing, but I can't do that because it is a loft ladder and really heavy to operate. Am now thinking that I should get a staircase fitted, but then it would not stop there because I would need something to stop mum going up it!
Mum has had two falls this weekend, one in the garden and last night in her bedroom. Out of the blue she is picking bits up from the floor or moving the rugs around - lining them all up to look like one big carpet and of course she is toppling over, last night she hit her face on small bedside cabinet, bit of a bruise coming out. Not sure how I can stop her from bending down though. Also trying to pick up the odd leaf from the lawn, so I have decided that she can no longer wander around the garden on her own.
After sort out in the attic decided to do the same in mum's bedroom, yesterday from top to bottom I cleaned, retrieved a load of stuff from under her bed, tidied wardrobe and chest of drawers, polished every bit of wood in there. Fortunately did not find any used pads! Unfortunately did find a few half eaten biscuits - don't know how she got these passed me! Put a small armchair in there for her night time wandering, she will not get back into her bed once she has made it so maybe she will sit down.
Up this morning to find mum wearing lots of clothes and wandering around with a pile. went into her bedroom to find her version of tidying - a mess! Beginning to think that mum should not have a chest of drawers, or anything with drawers because all she does is empty them. We are already at a minimum for clothes and these days there is no separation of Winter and Summer, wears same warm clothes all year round.
It's sad because the room looked lovely yesterday. at least we have a clean floor, skirting boards and walls!
Well done on all that cleaning and tidying Tin, sorry it didn't last more than a day but at least, as you say, it is all clean underneath the mess.
I have to ask................did you find your slippers???!!!
Yes I did, On top of the wood pile in the garden! Straight into the bin they were soaking wet.
Not been a great day, out for two hours late morning, but she was not happy, so we came home still not happy. Spent a lot of time moaning about this and that, critical of people on the tv and trying to get me to want what she wants and that is to get in the car. Hard to see all this as Dementia because she was like this before!
hard to see all this as Dementia because she was like this before!
Well I suppose that can be seen as a positive - her personality is still there..... infuriating and exhausting though it is sometimes.
And I'm sorry they were ruined but I'm so glad you finally found your slippers, so frustrating when something seemingly vanishes into thin air and yet you know it must be somewhere..... and of course the worry of where exactly they've been put, are they causing havoc.... at least the woodpile was a 'safe' place in terms of further problems.
Definitely a safe place Essie in an area that I would not normally visit until September, but because of Dementia I knew I had to search every inch of the garden just to satisfy myself and knowing they were probably in the garden, my intention was to throw them anyway, so I could have just forgotten them, but I had to know. Some personality traits still in place, she has always looked to other people to entertain her and just loved getting people embroiled in a bit of gossip and conspiracy.
Sitting quietly [thank you, thank you] at moment watching tv, but can see she is getting tired so hoping that when bedtime comes she will go peacefully and stay there. Hate the first half hour, will she won't she stay in bed!?!