1. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Been a strain today, lots of rubbish talk - what's that, want this, where are you - all day long and suddenly tonight another thing from the past has revisited, clear and precise mum suddenly announces that she has been here too long and it is time to go home. Knows exactly where her old home is, flashes of insight!

    So as she has been a little difficult tonight I have given her half a sleeping pill, just sitting here waiting for it to take effect, although I am a bit worried because she did not want to take it and after doing so I checked in her mouth, but really worried that while my back was turned she took it out! And she is still talking!!
     
  2. HillyBilly

    HillyBilly Registered User

    Dec 21, 2015
    1,948
    Ireland
    Sorry to hear you might be in for "one of those" nights Tin. Can you set the aromatherapy oil thingy to full blast with lavender?! x
     
  3. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    Hope she's in the land of nod before long Tin so you can have a bit of me time before turning in yourself. X
     
  4. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Afraid not Lavender every 10 minutes she keeps getting out of bed, making it and coming into me. Already given her the other half of sleeping pill - no effect except maybe making her more confused, also been to toilet a few times. So who knows how tonight will go. Had an idea that things would not be great that's why I gave her the sleeping pill earlier. Obsessed about the dog around tea time, endless chatter and unable to sit down for more than a few minutes. Not really got a busy day tomorrow but I do not want to be up half the night with her.

    Just been to check on her, she is at least calmer still in bed not asleep yet you should see the scene, she is on the very edge of the bed, with one leg almost out, not completely covered with duvet and her head is very close to bedside cabinet - one slight move and bang, another bruise. Looks like for the last half hour in bed she has been very restless. Hopefully by 11 pm she will be fast asleep, one thing for sure, not going to wake her at midnight to use the commode. Think on this occasion I would rather deal with a wet bed.
     
  5. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    A big supportive (((hug))) is winging it's way to you, you richly deserve it tonight and a medal. X
     
  6. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Aww thank you Lavender, Mum is now asleep, so I am off to bed, for some reason I feel very tired tonight!!!!!!
     
  7. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Tin, I follow your thread but rarely feel I can contribute. I hope you both got rest after yesterday's marathon.

    I second Lavender's medal presentation. Your mum is truly blessed in you. X
     
  8. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Thanks Molly, day time is fine and can keep her busy or distracted, but most of the time I just let her get on with whatever it is that is comforting her and I can even take a nap, but the night, wow that is something else, a completely different person that I do not recognise and seems to be hell bent on creating havoc.

    I am pleased that the gp has given the go ahead to increase the sleeping pills, it seems that this will be the only answer, she needs her sleep as well and I would rather this was at the right time. Up all night means she regularly falls asleep during the day and then of course the knock on is more sleepless nights.
     
  9. MollyD

    MollyD Registered User

    Mar 27, 2016
    1,696
    Ireland
    Tin, hopefully the increased subscription gives both of you a night's sleep.x
     
  10. Marnie63

    Marnie63 Registered User

    Dec 26, 2015
    1,590
    Hampshire
    How is it going with the nice smells Tin? Are you able to put the diffuser near mum and her not notice, or does it cause a problem (as most things do of course!).

    I've taken the noisy/cheap one upstairs and blast lavender aromas into my bedroom for an hour or so before I retire. It may not be helping mum much, but I like it! I will probably buy another one from NY and use in the lounge for an hour or so before I put mum to bed. The cheap and noisy one drives me mad in the lounge, makes a whirring noise.

    Slightly off tack, but I once went to one of those Centre Parcs Spas with a friend. She organised it. I didn't think I would like it, but it was a really nice place and they had a room which was very steamy, and very 'aromatic'. I had the remains of a cold/cough at the time and the lovely vapours did wonders for clearing the tubes and made me feel so much better.

    I noticed that NY do a vast selection of oils, so will try a few new ones - I saw they do a few Chamomile ones!

    I hope you are getting a bit more peace at night. Sleeping pills may be the solution for a while, but hopefully your mum may move into another phase soon, as my mum did, where she sleeps better, or is at least more settled at night.
     
  11. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Short answer - don't know, but the smell is amazing. I have Lavender, Chamomile and Jasmine.
     
  12. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,271
    Female
    South coast
    I dont know whether it would work with PWDs, but when the children were young and didnt want to go to bed I used to used cedarwood and lavender oils in the vaporiser about an hour before bed-time. Cedarwood is quite soporific. If you have a vaporiser already it might be worth a try.
     
  13. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Will try Cedarwood, but I have discovered tonight that mum seems frightened. She has been up and down in and out of her bedroom a lot, 10 minutes ago I took her back and as we were entering her bedroom she said she did not like it in there and almost refused to enter the room, been up again once since then. There is low light in there, a kind of warm glow. She is on the edge of falling asleep, but something is stopping her.

    Recently, because her room needs decorating I was thinking of getting my small room done first and put mum in there while her room is being done. Problem with my small room is that it is very small with a small single bed and mum does spread herself out in her bed, if she does this in a smaller bed I am thinking that she may fall out on a regular basis. It does look like I have no choice and will have to bring this plan forward very soon.

    I don't think this is the problem every night, but tonight she was genuinely frightened.
     
  14. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Shelf pessary fitted this morning, may be a bit premature, but I think this one is working. So now time to move on to next problem to be fixed on my very long list. Have to do something with mum's bedroom, maybe moving some of furniture around might help, change the light mood and the curtains, never ends, but I do not want mum to be frightened to go into her own room. The Lava lamp I got a few years ago worked well, but light bulb got broken and I cannot find a replacement, think this may be something I will have to search online and buy a small stock. Over the last few months she has become much more fixated on me, if I am in the bathroom she is calling out for me and asking where I am. I cannot move from room to room without her behind me.
     
  15. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    In the middle of her usual fixations and to fill the gaps, mum has not stopped moaning, does not like this, hates that, don't want that or that. Also she has become quite rude about my friends when they have left our house. Slowly beginning to think that life may be better if we avoid other people altogether!

    Sister told me of another example of mum's rudeness towards people and the beginnings of her dementia. She used to drive her elderly neighbour to the supermarket and on one of these occasions when she called to pick her up, neighbour said she did not want to go. Mum was livid and apparently telling my sister that that was it, not going to help her neighbour out in the future. My sister discovered a few weeks later that it was 3 a.m when mum did this and of course was in total denial and continued to refuse to help her neighbour.

    So we are not having a great day, forgotten when we last had a good one. Have increased anti depressant from 15 to 30 mg, so far making no difference to her dark moods.
     
  16. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    Sorry it's a bad day. Hope the increased antidepressant does kick in to lighten the moods.

    Don't give up on seeing people. In lots of respects our mums seem similar. Mine hated me having any social life and ruthlessly carried on until I gave up seeing them on the basis it was too much trouble.

    Mum maintained a tiny social life of her own, a church bingo once a month and a 2 hour pensioners group once a week, but it wasn't really enough freedom to let me see friends behind her back as it were.

    I know l'm preaching to the converted, but dementia is selfish and ruthless and bitter and twisted and rules with a rod of iron. I think it's a bit like bindweed allow it a foothold by compromising and letting your world shrink for it and it smothers everything.
     
  17. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Hi Lavender, I will not let mum's dementia ruin what little social life I have. You are so right though, bindweed is it. It does sometimes feel like a battle, but even when she gets her own way, she is not happy, so I will continue to do what I feel is right for me. So far she has managed to hold back her comments when my friends are with me, in fact she is the sweet, little old lady just talking and smiling when they are with us, but when they are gone - well she lets it all out and her language is as clear as a bell.

    I have this map of the brain showing all its workings and responsibilities and as she looses functions I cross them off with black felt tip pen, the black areas are growing!
     
  18. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Has anyone else come to this conclusion? after almost a year of taking mum to the toilet when she requests it, or taking her every 2 hours - with no success, except my mum taking all her clothes off when all I want to do is help her take your trousers down. I have decided to put my trust in the incontinence products and just check every now and then. Yesterday I counted how many times we visited the bathroom -a lot and each time completely dry and as usual mum insisting on taking all her clothes off and then insisting on my help to dress her again. So, so tiring.
     
  19. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Had a terrible night with mum and so far not a great day. Because I could see some anxiety brewing over the dog I decided to give mum half a sleeping pill around 9pm and then I just waited for it to begin to take effect. Around 9.45 she was sleeping in the armchair so I moved her to her bed and within a minute she was up announcing her arrival in the sitting room, tried a few times to get her back to bed but no success.By midnight she was showing fear and concern about her bedroom and at some point she had filled two plastic bags with things, then sat in the hallway waiting for me to take her home. So I had to go through that ridiculous show of pretending to telephone and book a taxi, then told her to wait in the hall and it would be here soon. She sat and paced around our small hall for about 45 minutes, eventually I managed to get her back into bed, but not without a bit of a struggle. So around 1.30 I got into my own bed,got something like 5 hours of broken sleep and then mum was up at 6. I got up and made sure she was clean had a drink and a few biscuits then I went back to bed. got up around 8, walked into the dining room to find all the chairs lined up against the wall, turned the lights on in sitting room to find cutlery spread out on chairs and sofa, forgot to close the kitchen gate!! So far today she is just completely lost in her own world, just doing very strange things, she must be tired too. Out for a short time this morning needed to do a supermarket shop, but that is it. I will let her wander the garden for a bit, but at some point this afternoon I will bring her in and lock the door.
     
  20. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    394
    South Wales
    Oh my goodness!! poor you, you must both be exhausted. Sending virtual hugs and hope for a more peaceful afternoon/ evening/ night
     

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