1. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Not really exhausted, just don't feel like doing much especially house work. I have some friends coming for the weekend so need to get ready for that, but for today I will just rest up and try to get mum to take a nap so she does not fall asleep around 7pm tonight. Have just brought her in from the garden and given her a bowl of soup with a crumpet.
     
  2. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Now I am exhausted! could not get mum to take a nap for more than 10 minutes and that was around 5. Distribution, destruction been the order of the day, nothing is safe from being moved, folded or just plain pulled apart. and very strange questions that come out of nowhere with no connection whatsoever to anything we are doing and of course all I could do was nod my head. I did make, with help from a friend, a very good activity board, but unfortunately this has just ended up in her wardrobe.

    She is now sitting on the sofa with dog beside her, but she is not still, trying to straighten a cushion, but what she is actually doing is pulling it apart. Roll on bedtime, hopefully she will be tired enough to go to bed and stay there for the night.
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Don't know if this is the worse time I have ever had with mum. No patience whatsoever with her today, to say she has been clingy is an understatement. She will not leave me alone and as usual I cannot get her to stay in bed. Called in the sitter this afternoon just for a break from her for an hour and when I got back sitter told me it was not great, mum just talked all the time about how I was beating her and the dog! told me she felt awful listening to how my mum was talking about me.

    All week. it has been impossible to care for her properly, been unable to wash her successfully even dress her, for the last week she has refused to take off pj's so day clothes have been put on top. Has not eaten or just picked at the meals I have prepared and when we have been out she just wants to go home, makes inappropriate remarks about people we meet and of course the children - innocent little things, but not to my mum!

    Oh dear god, next week had better improve, do not have my sitter for the next 3 weeks, she is going on holiday with her grandchildren. This weekend I have family and a few friends over night on Saturday - mixed blessings as this could go either way, over stimulate her and bring out the beast again, or tire her out completely.

    Watch this space.
     
  4. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Beginning to think that it might be the anti depressant taken at night that is giving mum a kind of energy burst, instead of the desired side effect of making her feel sleepy. This thought pattern has not come out of the blue as it did happen a few years ago. So as from tomorrow I am going to give mum the anti depressant in the afternoon.

    Had to give mum another sleeping pill last night, she just would not stay in her bed and having guests staying, well camping in my garden, It made things very difficult and I just could not relax enough to enjoy their company.
     
  5. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    Just reading your last few posts Tin and you really are having a time of it. I take it you've considered a Uti? I know what your mum is doing is quite classic for her, but it sounds like she is a lot more manic in her actions to me, maybe something is brewing. I hope moving the timing of your mum's antidepressant helps. What does your GP think about the timing?

    The other thing I'm thinking about is respite. I know you will be reluctant, but it truly sounds like you need some down time to recharge your batteries. A few hours whilst your carer is with your mum may not be enough just now to even partially allow you to gather breath and of course for the next few weeks you don't have a sitter. Maybe now is the time to bite the bullet. You cannot keep running on empty and it sounds to me very much like you are perilously close to empty now. You know what they say, you have to take care of yourself otherwise you cannot care for someone else. I know I've got that quote wrong, but you know the jist of it. X
     
  6. cuppatea

    cuppatea Registered User

    Oct 28, 2016
    394
    South Wales
    Sad to hear that your visit from friends was disrupted. I'm sure you longed to spend time with them while they were with you. Good luck for the night, hope all is peaceful for you both.
     
  7. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Hi Lavender,

    Got sister here tomorrow so she will take care of mum for whole day and then July/Aug weekend, got a clued in friend coming for weekend and I am going to stay in neighbours house while they are away, so I will be very close by if any problems. It is the first time I have done this and if it works then I shall be booking friend and paying her for the odd weekend.

    No infections, checked regularly by me and every month I ask gp to test a sample, in fact I am due to take one in tomorrow, that is if I can get a sample.

    The timing of the anti depressant is not new to us, when she first started taking them we had more success in the afternoons.
     
  8. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    Fingers crossed the timing of the antidepressant helps. I don't know how you are coping!

    Glad you have plans for respite. Please forgive my bluntness (or rudeness), but I honestly think you need a break. Not getting proper breaks is definitely where I went wrong with caring for mum, respecting her wishes not to have help and ignoring my sheer exhaustion didn't help either of us. x
     
  9. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    I am just baffled by this bedtime routine that she is in. Telling me she wants to go to bed, comments about how tired she is, yawning and saying Oh dear, can barely stand or walk to the bedroom without my help and yet just a minute or even seconds and she is wide awake, out of bed announcing her presence and there is no rhyme or reason for it. Whether she has had an active day or not today and yesterday she has been entertained, out in the fresh air, lunch at our local pub with friends. Usual pattern tonight and now she is sitting on sofa I gave her a sleeping pill about half hour ago. Giving her the full 3.75mg - half of this used to work really well [as gp instructed] but it was only given as and when needed. Now we are looking at the full whack and almost every night, I don't know! after such a short time, are they now becoming ineffective! Talking to gp tomorrow, booked this call last week.
     
  10. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    How did you get on with the GP today Tin? Hope it was positive.
     
  11. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Oh you know, told her about the bedtime activity - wanted to know how active I keep her during the day. answered that one. Told me that I could continue to give sleeping pill half if possible, but full one if needed. Did not or would not commit to giving me more than 14 at a time, about to fill repeat prescription tomorrow. She did say that was worried how quickly these pills seem to become ineffective for mum, but that it was not unusual so is going to look into this and come up with another plan. Also said that it was alright to give mum her mirtazapine earlier in the day and I did with no sign of sleepness, so proved that one.

    So here I am watching for any signs of sleep from mum while she is seating on the sofa, nothing yet and she has been up since 6 a.m. For me this is the worse time, doing her bit to annoy the dog and taking this night time pill has become very difficult for her, instead of swallowing she keeps bringing it forward to the tip of her tongue, so new problem and I forgot to ask the gp if this one could be crushed!! will ask at pharmacy tomorrow.
     
  12. Lavender45

    Lavender45 Registered User

    Jun 7, 2015
    1,598
    Liverpool
    Only giving 14 tablets at a time seems unreasonable when it means extra trips to the surgery. You've already proved many times over that you will use them as sparingly as possible.

    Hope the chemist confirms its OK to crush the tablets making that a bit easier and that sleep overcomes your mum this side of midnight. X
     
  13. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    I know, 14 is ridiculous and I have stretched these out over a 2 month period. we do have some wiggle room, if the 3.75 become useless then there is higher. I will keep pushing, I would like to be able to give her 5 a week and none at the weekend. She has gone to bed and now sleeping.

    It has been almost 4 years of continuous and changing night time activity, with some breaks from it every couple of weeks . Night nurse, Bachs night rescue and even the Lavender, all kinds of Lavender pampering no longer help. Bowl of rice pudding just before bedtime used to help. I think I have tried everything out there. Zopiclone seems to be it, for now anyway. I am presently experiencing a wonderful peaceful night and I want more, and importantly mum gets good quality sleep, because I have noticed that when she is tired she becomes very repetitive, wandering more, and moving things around more and terrible sundowning. so definitely going to keep pushing gp give me more Zopiclone!!!!!!!
     
  14. caqqufa

    caqqufa Registered User

    Jun 4, 2016
    142
    I had found melatonin tablets that would give us some hours of sleep.
     
  15. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    I have looked at this in the past, but never tried, am very cautious of buying anything that may interfere with anit depressants, so will bring this one up with the gp. Thanks
     
  16. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Hope I don't jinx this by posting! Tonight is the first night in a week that I have put mum to bed without any sleeping medication. So far so good, but it has only been 10 minutes and usually by now she has been up and down a few times so still time. These days if I can get mum to sleep straight away then good chance she will stay asleep, unlike in the past when every hour she was up and down through the night. I have put electric blanket back on the bed and set it high for about an hour before going to bed. I have bought some Nytol liquid sleep aid, only tried it once, but not great results, had to give her half a sleeping pill the same night. However it does seem to ease any anxiety she has during the day so not a total waste of money. Of course all this could just be the calm 'after' the storm, that strange thing called plateauing.
     
  17. Marnie63

    Marnie63 Registered User

    Dec 26, 2015
    1,586
    Hampshire
    That's some good news Tin. I think what you're doing is what I have been doing - just trying out different things to see what may work. I hope you did get a good night! I shudder when I even think back to what the sleep deprivation did to me. It surely must be one of the best ways to inflict torture on a person.

    I hope you're still enjoying the aromatherapy. I got some pine oil the other day, which is great, and I mix up ylang ylang and patchouli, which is heavenly. The diffuser is now in my bedroom, but am about to order another one for downstairs and will use the Lavender in the evening to try to induce more calm in mum.

    How old is your mum Tin? Mine is 91 now, but still seems to have a lot of stamina. When all this kicked off nearly two years ago she went for several months without proper sleep, at home and in hospital. I still wonder how she had the physical strength to get through that, but she did. Hope I have some of those genes!
     
  18. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Snap! My mum is 83. Like yours, she was home alone for a while and was not sleeping through the night.

    She slept till 6.30 am, unfortunately I did not sleep so well, the rain kept me awake and then one of the cats brought in a mouse - alive - so spent an hour trying to catch it and put back outside. Think by 2.30 I was asleep. Did go back to bed after I give mum a cup of tea and biscuits, slept till 9.30 and let mum just potter around the house. When she wanders in the morning, it is so different from the evening, no confusion, no pestering the dog or emptying drawers and moving things around, just pottering.

    There has been a change since I increased Mirtazapine to 30mg and now taking in the afternoon, seems to have cut down her obsession with to and from the garden gate and some of the furniture moving has stopped. All in All less obsessive behaviour.

    So last night no sleep aid worked, but think tonight I will have to look at the medicine cabinet, try and find a suitable cocktail, will start with all the smells and then a bath. Hopefully by 10pm she will be asleep.
     
  19. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Given mum Nytol tonight, but not sure it will work. so far been up twice to change incontinence pants, both pairs completely wet. went to bed at 9.45. Not great last night, sat in hallway waiting for a taxi till around midnight, so who knows, tonight may be the same, can hear her moving around in there but so far not come in to me.

    Over the last week or so I have noticed that mum is having problems taking her pills, not a swallowing thing just that she keeps bringing the pills forward to the tip of her tongue and hardly taking any liquid to wash them back and down. Been a bit forgetful here because I was planning to ask the chemist if these pills can be crushed. Definitely on my list of things to do tomorrow and that list is growing, need to get a new pair of winter boots and warmer clothes for her, especially tops with press stud fasteners, button holes becoming really difficult and she pulls the buttons off. zips no good either breaks them with continual up and down nonsense and when they are broken she pulls at the seams holding the zips. So big shopping day tomorrow, fingers crossed we both have a good nights sleep, but I am not ready to go to bed yet.
     
  20. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    Over the years mum has fluffed, moved and generally played with chair cushions, they go from sofa to dining chairs, table, windowsills, piled on top of the dog, my writing desk and airing cupboard, I have even found one in the fridge! Today I am bagging a lot of these up and putting in the attic because I found 2 stuffed down the toilet then she put the lid down and flushed! I have learnt that once she adds a new place for these, it becomes a part of her routine . Feather cushions down the toilet is one of those steps too far for me!
     

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