Hi all I’m new to the group. Feeling a bit lost at the moment. Lost my step dad to cancer and at the same time mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It’s been a difficult couple of years since and mum is now in a care home after becoming a safety risk living at home on her own. I’ve struggled with my emotions and have a deep sadness and level of guilt. I see mum once a week and she is doing well, although the care home seems to be problematic and u in have involved cqc due to serious medication errors. Basic care seems to be a luxury. I’m longing for the past and struggling to accept the reality of the situation. I’m grieving my previous relationship with my mum and feel pretty low. I guess it’s life and I need to adjust to a new reality. I just hope I’m prepared for what’s to come. Thanks for listening.
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- Thread starter David3
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- alzheimer's disease
Welcome @David3 . You have come to the right place for help and support.
You`ve suffered an enormous loss with both parents and it is no wonder you are struggling to come to terms with it.
However why on earth do you feel guilty?
None of this is your fault and if you are unable to meet your mother`s needs, which happens to most of us when we have family members with dementia, you have tried to find the best care for her.
I understand your concerns about the care home your mother is in but as long as CQC is involved the problems would be resolved.
It might help you to contact the Dementia support line and see what they advise re the care home.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
You`ve suffered an enormous loss with both parents and it is no wonder you are struggling to come to terms with it.
However why on earth do you feel guilty?
None of this is your fault and if you are unable to meet your mother`s needs, which happens to most of us when we have family members with dementia, you have tried to find the best care for her.
I understand your concerns about the care home your mother is in but as long as CQC is involved the problems would be resolved.
It might help you to contact the Dementia support line and see what they advise re the care home.
Dementia Support Line
If you need dementia support, we’re here for you. Get personalised information, support and advice by calling us on 0333 150 3456.
www.alzheimers.org.uk
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Hello @David3 and welcome to this friendly and supportive forum from me too. There is a lot of shared experience of dementia to be found here.
I am so sorry to read of the loss of your step Dad and your Mum's Alzheimer's diagnosis. You have certainly had it tough recently, and no wonder you are feeling as you do.
Truly, truly, you have nothing to feel guilty about with your Mum being in a care home setting now. I had to make the same decision for my Mum some years ago, because she too was unsafe to live at home on her own. It's such a hard decision to have to make, but it's like Mum's needs were the most important to keep her safe, So please please, don't feel guilty.
If you have the cqc involved, then they will resolve issues regarding medication etc.
Of course, it's hard, yes it is getting used to a new reality, as you described it. But you are doing the right thing, and visit as often as you wish to. Take care
I am so sorry to read of the loss of your step Dad and your Mum's Alzheimer's diagnosis. You have certainly had it tough recently, and no wonder you are feeling as you do.
Truly, truly, you have nothing to feel guilty about with your Mum being in a care home setting now. I had to make the same decision for my Mum some years ago, because she too was unsafe to live at home on her own. It's such a hard decision to have to make, but it's like Mum's needs were the most important to keep her safe, So please please, don't feel guilty.
If you have the cqc involved, then they will resolve issues regarding medication etc.
Of course, it's hard, yes it is getting used to a new reality, as you described it. But you are doing the right thing, and visit as often as you wish to. Take care
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