When my late wife wanted to 'go home' I was lucky as I knew her from the age of 18. Her childhood home was my very first introduction to family life. Though her family were poor in a material sense, 'her home' had the most rich warm, loving and welcome atmosphere.
Those fond memories remained with me throughout our 52 years of marriage. So when she wanted to 'go home' I took her hand and we set off. All the while we chatted about the 'square'; an area of terraced houses of two up two down, the school she attended, the 'beck' were she played chucking stones. Unaware and unnoticed I changed the conversation and direction as she tired and made our way home.
Once she took off on foot to make her way home to Co. Durham! When I was notified that she was walking along the edge of the highway, I went after her in our car. With the window wound down: "Where are you making for?" I asked. "Home" came the reply.
"Where's home?" Her reply astounded me, she reeled off the full address including the number of the house. The whole area had been demolished some thirty years earlier!
I offered her a lift home and as we drive around we chatted of happy time when she first met her husband. Of course I was not her husband in her eyes, he was a much younger man. Strange as it may seem I now miss those special caring days, and have very few regrets of going it alone and managing AD in my own way.
'Going home' was just one of the pieces of the jigsaw I learned to fit into the bigger picture. I was one very lucky person to have shared the whole journey with her. The problem now is I wish to share our story in the hope it will benefit others.
Am I wasting my time?
I still dont know what to say to my wife when she asks where is my husband \ and she wants to go home.
I have been speaking the truth saying I am your husband and this is your home and this is only making things worse it just goes on and on \ and then she walks out of the house and comes back this happens many times.
l would like to hear how other people deal with this please.
l dont have any family who l can talk to about this, Iam very glad that lve found this web site to help me.
Aspire
When my late wife wanted to 'go home' I was lucky as I knew her from the age of 18. Her childhood home was my very first introduction to family life. Though her family were poor in a material sense, 'her home' had the most rich warm, loving and welcome atmosphere.
Those fond memories remained with me throughout our 52 years of marriage. So when she wanted to 'go home' I took her hand and we set off. All the while we chatted about the 'square'; an area of terraced houses of two up two down, the school she attended, the 'beck' were she played chucking stones. Unaware and unnoticed I changed the conversation and direction as she tired and made our way home.
Once she took off on foot to make her way home to Co. Durham! When I was notified that she was walking along the edge of the highway, I went after her in our car. With the window wound down: "Where are you making for?" I asked. "Home" came the reply.
"Where's home?" Her reply astounded me, she reeled off the full address including the number of the house. The whole area had been demolished some thirty years earlier!
I offered her a lift home and as we drive around we chatted of happy time when she first met her husband. Of course I was not her husband in her eyes, he was a much younger man. Strange as it may seem I now miss those special caring days, and have very few regrets of going it alone and managing AD in my own way.
'Going home' was just one of the pieces of the jigsaw I learned to fit into the bigger picture. I was one very lucky person to have shared the whole journey with her. The problem now is I wish to share our story in the hope it will benefit others.
Am I wasting my time?
My advice to you is to go with the flow. She will have no idea what is going on from my own experience of things and wherever possible distraction is the best form. I would use music and laughter wherever possible or go out for a drive. Its best not to argue as such as she just won't understand whats happening. I know how frustrating it is when the person you love is slipping away from you, right in front of your eyes. I can honestly say its the hardest thing I have had to deal with in all my life. Be as patient as you can be and when it gets to much then take time out (even if for 5 mins) take a deep breath and try again. I wish I could do more to help you. Hope this advice might be of use. Sending love and best wishes. Tish xI still dont know what to say to my wife when she asks where is my husband \ and she wants to go home.
I have been speaking the truth saying I am your husband and this is your home and this is only making things worse it just goes on and on \ and then she walks out of the house and comes back this happens many times.
l would like to hear how other people deal with this please.
l dont have any family who l can talk to about this, Iam very glad that lve found this web site to help me.
Aspire
Hijohnno my husband crys alot as he doesn't know where his wife is however l say l am your wife l am with you all the time but nothing will convince him that l am his wife, he also is always showing me our wedding photo, I saying thats my wife, l think he can only see me as a young person now l am 68. It is so upsetting and it is very hard to come to terms with it we just have to try to stay strong. Hope this is of some help to you pamann
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Had similiar thing with my FIL, kept telling MIL he was leaving to go back to the other woman, very upsetting, but when we spoke to him at length we suddenly realised the other woman, was the MIL he used to know and their first home, took us an age to make her realise what he was meaning. Think we need to remember that loved ones are remembering things as they used to be.I still dont know what to say to my wife when she asks where is my husband \ and she wants to go home.
I have been speaking the truth saying I am your husband and this is your home and this is only making things worse it just goes on and on \ and then she walks out of the house and comes back this happens many times.
l would like to hear how other people deal with this please.
l dont have any family who l can talk to about this, Iam very glad that lve found this web site to help me.
Aspire
I still dont know what to say to my wife when she asks where is my husband \ and she wants to go home.
I have been speaking the truth saying I am your husband and this is your home and this is only making things worse it just goes on and on \ and then she walks out of the house and comes back this happens many times.
l would like to hear how other people deal with this please.
l dont have any family who l can talk to about this, Iam very glad that lve found this web site to help me.
Aspire
I still dont know what to say to my wife when she asks where is my husband \ and she wants to go home.
I have been speaking the truth saying I am your husband and this is your home and this is only making things worse it just goes on and on \ and then she walks out of the house and comes back this happens many times.
l would like to hear how other people deal with this please.
l dont have any family who l can talk to about this, Iam very glad that lve found this web site to help me.
Aspire
I still dont know what to say to my wife when she asks where is my husband \ and she wants to go home.
I have been speaking the truth saying I am your husband and this is your home and this is only making things worse it just goes on and on \ and then she walks out of the house and comes back this happens many times.
l would like to hear how other people deal with this please.
l dont have any family who l can talk to about this, Iam very glad that lve found this web site to help me.
Aspire