Hi all. Just an update. It's all become a bit of a nightmare. In recent months mum's memory and thought processes were getting worse. One by one the washing machine, dryer, dishwasher and finally the cooker became too difficult to use and self neglect was starting to occur. Mum was still there, you could have a conversation, but it became more and more repetitive.
As she lives on her own we had got her help in as well as me going in regularly but I was concerned that quite simply she should not be living on her own. Mum wanted to though, that's always been the problem. Occupational Health were meant to call me - they didn't - so I rang them. "Oh it's been sorted" they told me. "What do you mean?" I replied. "We rang your mum asked her a few questions and she said she was fine and didn't need any help so we have crossed her off the list" they said. Staggering!!! I then rang several times the Doctor and Memory Clinic asking for mum to be re-referred as she had deteriorated but both insisted nothing more was worth doing until a year since her first tests in October - Staggering!!!
This takes us to Wednesday 1st May. I rang mum around midday to see if she was ok. She wasn't, she has a bad stomach and the runs. I went over and saw something a son/daughter should never see, their mum with no clothes on the bottom half, confused and defecating on the floor as she walked. I rang 999 immediately. The Paramedics were wonderful and took mum to hospital where she spent 8 hours on a trolley in a corridor. A female friend who came with me (a retired Radiographer) had to take mum to the toilet on a commode several times because no nurses seemed interested.
Over the next week and a half it's been a nightmare. To start with they got her in their own words "medically fit" and were going to discharge her. We argued that she is not fit to live on her own and requested a mental capacity statement which would allow us to place her somewhere at the very least some respite to recover (if possible). Then she had two (yes two) falls in hospital and started to deteriorate and lost all strength and mobility and was diagnosed with low blood pressure. They tried sorting that and she was then diagnosed with Delirium. All this time we had no idea what was going on so I got PALS involved and they finally got the Doctor to talk to us and mum was also allocated a Social Worker. The "plan" was to get her medically fit and then into rehab but no beds were available,. They finally agreed that a mental capacity statement was a good idea!!!!!! She then became drowsy and they sent her for a CT scan for which we still haven't received the results, but there again we still haven't found out what was the cause of the original infection! Then she catches a UTI which along with the delirium has left her incoherent, confused, bedridden, - not mum ----- Can be caused by dehydration and yet we said several times to the nurses that mum had become too weak to feed or water herself and they needed to be more observant and proactive. Mind you I guess if I'd been more observant and proactive months ago,,,,, all if's and but's and hindsight.
So no mental capacity statement can be done until mum has come off the antibiotics for the UTI. Delirium can take an age to recover from for someone with Dementia if ever so I am not positive about her recovery to a similar state to what she was prior to admission. The lovely Care Home we had pencilled in as a possibility won't take anyone with delirium so now a nursing home becomes a reality but to do all that we need the mental capacity statement.
Sadly a retired GP I know says this unfortunately is the common routine with dementia. The patient doesn't want to leave home, is deemed with capacity by the authorities and it takes a fall or infection which places them in hospital for something to be finally done!
I've never seen a deterioration like it. It's like mums state of health has just fallen off a cliff in under two weeks, it really is shocking. Dad died at 59 of heart attack and mum is 83 and as she is now and I really can't say who was dealt the better set of cards. I hate myself for saying this but in many ways I am just hoping something quick and painless would take mum but at the same time she doesn't seem in any physical pain and seems unaware of what is going on. But it seems almost cruel to treat someone with physical infection just so they go on longer with mental deterioration. Horrible disease, absolutely horrible.
My sympathies and understanding everyone going through the dementia journey.