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Might well becoming a regular on this forum so thought I would say hi.

Max68

Registered User
Aug 21, 2018
81
Sussex
No they don't at all, in fact I found that the cleaners and HCA's had more empathy and understanding than the medical staff did!! Mum was given drinks in proper cups which mum couldn't even reach let alone drink and one day someone came in and plonked down a chicken coronation sandwich in a vacuum pack on the table despite "soft foods and patient needs help to eat" written on the board!! I think my comment was "Are you sure?!?!" maybe not as polite as that!! What's frightening is as family we can't be at hospitals 24/7 and people with Dementia cannot complain, question, request or inform others what is happening like a patient that can communicate and whilst the same is true in a care home you at least know that they are trained to deal with it.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
2,093
@Max68 Dad has oesophageal cancer and has 2 stents in and yes they gave him sandwiches and roast beef and roast potatoes despite the soft food notice on the board. I questioned this and apparently it was what dad chose. Well that is because he has dementia and no idea that he has cancer or that he should only eat soft food and he shouldn't be given a choice. I don't give him a choice and he eats every scrap that I give him.

He also had 3 falls in hospital, one a week so that was three head scans along with the one that he had on admittance because he had fallen at home due to pneumonia. I told them that he would wander, most likely trying to escape and he did. God knows what 4 scans cost the health service. For a man who has never been ill in his life dad certainly got his money's worth during those 3 weeks.

He has been home for 6 months now and no falls because there is one of us with him all the time and he has also put back on one of the two stone that he lost in three weeks.

A broken bone from a fall is now my worst nightmare. Hospital stays for people with dementia are awful and should be avoided if at all possible. I could not believe how badly it affected dad at the time although he has recovered well he will never be how he was before he was admitted. It is written into dad's care plan that hospital admissions are to be avoided unless absolutely necessary.

Dad has no memory of any of this and would still choose steak and chips given the choice but I don't give him the choice.
 

Max68

Registered User
Aug 21, 2018
81
Sussex
Very good points Duggies Girl, my thoughts with you. When mum originally went into hospital and spent 8 weeks there and suffered a massive Dementia drop we sadly didn't have choice because it was either that or send her home due to the fact it took weeks to get a capacity statement which allowed us to place her in care. This time around I wish after she had the all clear from scans after the falls we had just asked them to send her back to the home but she had the electrolyte imbalance so they wouldn't. Sadly none of us mere mortals are experts so you do what is advised but it's destroyed mum and her quality of life, and we all thought hospitals are where you get better!! If only say a Care Home Nurse was asked to do a talk in a hospital ward once in a while even that would help. I don't know, far more intelligent people than I don't even have the answers!!
 

Rosettastone57

Registered User
Oct 27, 2016
1,371
No they don't at all, in fact I found that the cleaners and HCA's had more empathy and understanding than the medical staff did!! Mum was given drinks in proper cups which mum couldn't even reach let alone drink and one day someone came in and plonked down a chicken coronation sandwich in a vacuum pack on the table despite "soft foods and patient needs help to eat" written on the board!! I think my comment was "Are you sure?!?!" maybe not as polite as that!! What's frightening is as family we can't be at hospitals 24/7 and people with Dementia cannot complain, question, request or inform others what is happening like a patient that can communicate and whilst the same is true in a care home you at least know that they are trained to deal with it.
Sadly this was my experience with my mother-in-law in hospital last year. She needed her food cut up and this often didn't happen. Once in her care home, my husband who had POA health and welfare made decisions that unless it was an emergency, his mother was not to go to hospital. This was made in discussion with the GP for the home,who agreed that mother-in-law had no capacity. Mother-in-law had always refused treatment anyway in the last few years, even when there was a strong possibility of her having bowel cancer. It was agreed to have palliative care. In the end, she had just that and passed away peacefully without the hospital experience.
 

Max68

Registered User
Aug 21, 2018
81
Sussex
Well mum has incredibly rallied big time and all the carers at the home were over the moon that mum had walked with help from her room to the lounge this week and is now using a walker. Her speech has improved and unbelievably her kidneys are improving and she can feed herself. There we were three weeks ago with her at deaths door and being told she wouldn't walk or talk again. Incredibly proud of her, she is one tough old bird, in the nicest sense!!

Obviously fabulous care from all at the home to get her back to this and it's amazing what little things like keeping them hydrated, fed and exercise can do. Pity the hospitals don't take note!!!
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,742
Well mum has incredibly rallied big time and all the carers at the home were over the moon that mum had walked with help from her room to the lounge this week and is now using a walker. Her speech has improved and unbelievably her kidneys are improving and she can feed herself. There we were three weeks ago with her at deaths door and being told she wouldn't walk or talk again. Incredibly proud of her, she is one tough old bird, in the nicest sense!!

Obviously fabulous care from all at the home to get her back to this and it's amazing what little things like keeping them hydrated, fed and exercise can do. Pity the hospitals don't take note!!!
that is good news
Quality of life incredibly important