Hello exhausted , Heidi , nae sporran and shedrech . I am so very sorry your dad isn't so well exhausted . In my job I have to ask many times about DNACPR ( do not attempt cardio pulmonary resuscitation ) as opposed to DNR ( do not resuscitate ) . The 'title ' was changed a few years ago to reflect this . The difference between the two is that the DNACPR means that you will treat the person up to the point that their heart stops and they have no output . They can still be treated with fluids , antibiotics etc . So if this is what you want , then you can make your wishes clear . However , I do agree that it a very stressful decision to make and one that cannot be taken lightly . My own mum took not well in 2014 and I was asked the same question . I told the doctors I did not want cardio pulmonary resuscitation but agreed to a treatment plan of oxygen and medication which was successful and my mum recovered. However I need to say that although this decision was right for my mum , it may not be right for your dad , exhausted . It's an awful situation to be in and I don't envy you but please be rest assured that you will make the right decision , whatever it is . Heidi and shedrech are right in that you will do what's best for your dad . I hope you and your mum are doing ok Heidi , also shedrech and your dad and of course rob and your OH. Everything okay with my mum and I . Keep us posted to allow us to support each other . Best wishes everyone and look after yourselves too . Lou X
In need of a virtual hug
- Thread starter exhausted 2015
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Hello Lou its good to hear from you and I hope all is OK with you and your mum ..not sure if I have understood your explanation of DNR as it was not put to me by the doctor in so much detail they did explain that it could be aggressive and brain damage could occur but I am at ease with my decision now dad is too frail to take much more even if he is a trooper ..we are now facing the prospect that he may have prostate cancer because the bleeding is not stopping he went for a scan yesterday but the prostate was obstructed by blood clots so they were unable to examine it ..I've been told that the urologst will not do any invasive examination's with a camera given dads age and frail condition.. So now we wait and see if the bleeding stops ...thanks to you and all my tp friends(yourself,Heidi,rob and shedrech) for following me on this emotional journey .I've only been a member since July last year but the support has been tremendous ..thank you all xxxxx
Aww exhausted , your name fits you because you must be emotionally and physically exhausted , coping with the highs and lows of you and your dads journey . It's so sad that not only do our loved ones have to be stripped of their personality and dignity but have to endure such physical sickness too, it's just not fair . You know we are here for you , only a few clicks away on a computer . Take care , sending you and your dad a big hug . Best wishes to you and our TP friends . Keep in touch everyone . Lou X
Oh Exhausted
What a terrible time you and your Dad are going through. Every day brings fresh challenges and you are having to watch and take such difficult decisions. I do feel for you both. Respect to you for having taken such a hard decision on his behalf, but you have made it thinking about your dear Dad and what is best for him, not for you. He is in a safe place and they are keeping him pain free but your emotional pain must be off the scale. You are a truly strong and devoted daughter who is in the hardest position imaginable. I know it's quick to say, but please make sure that you look after yourself too. You need to keep your strength up in whatever way you can. We are all thinking of you and your Dad and sending you virtual hugs and comfort in these awful days.
((((((((((((((Lots of love)))))))))))))
Heidi
Best wishes to all and their loved ones. Dad and I have had a good few days and all is well. Xx
What a terrible time you and your Dad are going through. Every day brings fresh challenges and you are having to watch and take such difficult decisions. I do feel for you both. Respect to you for having taken such a hard decision on his behalf, but you have made it thinking about your dear Dad and what is best for him, not for you. He is in a safe place and they are keeping him pain free but your emotional pain must be off the scale. You are a truly strong and devoted daughter who is in the hardest position imaginable. I know it's quick to say, but please make sure that you look after yourself too. You need to keep your strength up in whatever way you can. We are all thinking of you and your Dad and sending you virtual hugs and comfort in these awful days.
((((((((((((((Lots of love)))))))))))))
Heidi
Best wishes to all and their loved ones. Dad and I have had a good few days and all is well. Xx
Not much to add to what Lou and Heidi said, Exhausted. Just sending you all my best wishes and wanted to say how sorry I am to hear your dad is not getting any better.
Glad your dad is doing ok Heidi and hope you and your mum are ok Lou.
Look after yourself Exhausted.
Glad your dad is doing ok Heidi and hope you and your mum are ok Lou.
Look after yourself Exhausted.
Hi Exhausted
Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and your Dad. I hope he's comfortable and that you are managing to cope.
Lots of love and hugs
Heidi
Hi Rob, Louby and Shedrech
I hope you and yours are all well. Dad is fine and enjoyed a roast dinner from the chapel yesterday. I have followed advice on here and found out that his intestinal problems are down to lactose intolerance. Hallelujah!!
All the best, Heidi x
Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and your Dad. I hope he's comfortable and that you are managing to cope.
Lots of love and hugs
Heidi
Hi Rob, Louby and Shedrech
I hope you and yours are all well. Dad is fine and enjoyed a roast dinner from the chapel yesterday. I have followed advice on here and found out that his intestinal problems are down to lactose intolerance. Hallelujah!!
All the best, Heidi x
That's a relief for you Heidi, and a nice lunch.
We are well, hoping to get out for a new pair of those shoes designed for swollen feet, though it is probably a phantom pain due to dementia. Still, the drive out to Street to the factory shop is lovely.
Morning Lou. Morning Shedrech. Hope all is well.
Morning Exhausted, don't reply if you don't have the energy but still thinking of you and your dad. Rob
Morning Exhausted.
Sending you (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) on another hard day. Xx
Morning Rob
I hope you found the right shoes and enjoyed your trip out. If you didn't find any suitable ones, try cosy feet online.
Have a good day.
All the best, Heidi
Sending you (((((((((((hugs))))))))))) on another hard day. Xx
Morning Rob
I hope you found the right shoes and enjoyed your trip out. If you didn't find any suitable ones, try cosy feet online.
Have a good day.
All the best, Heidi
Morning Heidi, that was the one tried at the shop. Someone else has now suggested Hotter which is either a short trip round the City centre trying to find a parking place or a wee trip to Gloucester to the garden centre. Hope your dad is better now he is getting his lactose free diet.
Morning Exhausted, another wee online hug and best wishes to you and your dad. Rob
Hi everyone
I am so touched that you think of me and dad when I only pop in here once in a while - thank you
dad's OK but does have a cold which unsettles him - and I'm trying to make myself paint the back bedroom but I'm so lazy I'm doing it very slowly
exhausted 2015 - often think of you and your dad - I can only send you warm thoughts and best wishes - hardly seems enough, but I'm glad you do feel supported by all of us
nae sporran - I love Hotters, so comfortable - also Padders and the wide fitting brand of M & S - all are long lasting too
hvml - a shame about the lactose intolerance but so glad you found out what it was
Louby65 - really useful to have your detailed explanation re 'DNR'
I hope you're all getting some of the sunshine that's here today - it always cheers me
best wishes to all
I am so touched that you think of me and dad when I only pop in here once in a while - thank you
dad's OK but does have a cold which unsettles him - and I'm trying to make myself paint the back bedroom but I'm so lazy I'm doing it very slowly
exhausted 2015 - often think of you and your dad - I can only send you warm thoughts and best wishes - hardly seems enough, but I'm glad you do feel supported by all of us
nae sporran - I love Hotters, so comfortable - also Padders and the wide fitting brand of M & S - all are long lasting too
hvml - a shame about the lactose intolerance but so glad you found out what it was
Louby65 - really useful to have your detailed explanation re 'DNR'
I hope you're all getting some of the sunshine that's here today - it always cheers me
best wishes to all
Hello exhausted , rob , Heidi and shedrech . Hope things are ok with each of you ?
Exhausted , how's your dad doing - I hope he's feeling a bit better.
Heidi , I hope your dad enjoyed his roast dinner , it's been ages since I've had a roast dinner . My mum and I used to enjoy a Sunday roast chicken dinner but unfortunately over the past year she has found swallowing chicken difficult , even cut up , which has resulted in a few tense moments and a Heimlich manoeuvre a few times !!! But I do miss those dinners .
Rob - I bought my mum some shoes from the cosy feet company which have been great . So comfy and a good choice .
Shedrech , I hope your dad is ok and feeling better from his cold . Hope your nearly finished painting . It's always rewarding when it's finished. Over the years I've done my own painting and decorating , which isn't perfect but quite satisfying .
Unfortunately in my neck of the woods the weather is bad again but I noticed the daffodils starting to break through , which gives me hope that winter is nearing the end . I'm sure I'm not alone but I absolutely hate the winter cause I worry about it snowing and I can't get home to look after my mum or the ice making her fall .
Take care of yourself everyone and hope our families stay safe and healthy. Lou X
Exhausted , how's your dad doing - I hope he's feeling a bit better.
Heidi , I hope your dad enjoyed his roast dinner , it's been ages since I've had a roast dinner . My mum and I used to enjoy a Sunday roast chicken dinner but unfortunately over the past year she has found swallowing chicken difficult , even cut up , which has resulted in a few tense moments and a Heimlich manoeuvre a few times !!! But I do miss those dinners .
Rob - I bought my mum some shoes from the cosy feet company which have been great . So comfy and a good choice .
Shedrech , I hope your dad is ok and feeling better from his cold . Hope your nearly finished painting . It's always rewarding when it's finished. Over the years I've done my own painting and decorating , which isn't perfect but quite satisfying .
Unfortunately in my neck of the woods the weather is bad again but I noticed the daffodils starting to break through , which gives me hope that winter is nearing the end . I'm sure I'm not alone but I absolutely hate the winter cause I worry about it snowing and I can't get home to look after my mum or the ice making her fall .
Take care of yourself everyone and hope our families stay safe and healthy. Lou X
Sorry its so late ..I have read everyone's posts and pleased to read that everyone is OK and hope that you all have enjoyed the sunshine today ...hope your dads cold gets better soon shedrech and rob hope oh is OK and hope you will find some suitable footwear soon it must be enjoyable getting out even if it is just looking for suitable shoes ...Heidi hope that you are well and pleased to hear you have got your dads problem sorted out ..hope that he enjoyed his lunch ...and Lou I hope that you are well and your mum too ,if you don't mind I would like to pick your medical brains about dad sometime,.I am almost back to being reasonably well again ...dad is still in hospital and there is still significant blood in his catheter ...so I am still watching and waiting when I went yesterday he was in pain as his catheter had been changed ..I sat and comforted him ..I haven't been able to go today ..waiting for my new washing machine to be delivered.. My sister has been and says he's OK but she doesn't ask any questions.. I'm concerned also that he cannot maintain his oxygen levels and is constantly on oxygen ...sorry I'm rambling now ...goodnight all going to try to sleep now xxxx
Hi Exhausted.
I hope all is going as well as it can and that you are ok. Keep your strength up.
Hi Rob. I hope you find just the right shoes and enjoy being out and about on the hunt. It is good news about the lactose intolerance! I told the doctor and he couldn't understand why it hadn't been thought of before!!
Hi Shedrech. Sorry to hear about your Dad 's cold. Mine has a chest infection and we are waiting on antibiotics. He is very wheezy first thing, but settles down once he is up.
Hi Louby. Have you managed to look into a trip away for you and Mum when the weather improves?
Have a good day all.
Take care, Heidi xx
I hope all is going as well as it can and that you are ok. Keep your strength up.
Hi Rob. I hope you find just the right shoes and enjoy being out and about on the hunt. It is good news about the lactose intolerance! I told the doctor and he couldn't understand why it hadn't been thought of before!!
Hi Shedrech. Sorry to hear about your Dad 's cold. Mine has a chest infection and we are waiting on antibiotics. He is very wheezy first thing, but settles down once he is up.
Hi Louby. Have you managed to look into a trip away for you and Mum when the weather improves?
Have a good day all.
Take care, Heidi xx
Good to hear your are almost back to fitness again Exhausted. I was going to suggest you try a bit of Reiki to unwind, it left me a bit spaced out but more relaxed for a week or two. Sorry about your dad and his constant battles though. Best wishes for better days to you, your dad and your sister. Rob
Evening Exhausted
I so feel for you and your Dad and the pain you are both going through in your different ways. I know from seeing my own Dad in pain with his ankle that it's so hard. I'm glad to hear that you are in better health now. It must have been so difficult to deal with everything at once. My monthly weekend away has come around again, so I will be offline for a couple of days. I get up extra early and leave the house at 6 am, so it's exciting from the word go. I'm going to make spicy cabbage soup for oh and maybe even some bread to go with it - with a bread mix, if I can find one. It will be great to see him and the cats.
I'd like to wish a positive weekend to all and hope that your Dad pain eases and he can be made more comfortable.
Keep your spirits up.
Lots of love and hugs, Heidi xx
I so feel for you and your Dad and the pain you are both going through in your different ways. I know from seeing my own Dad in pain with his ankle that it's so hard. I'm glad to hear that you are in better health now. It must have been so difficult to deal with everything at once. My monthly weekend away has come around again, so I will be offline for a couple of days. I get up extra early and leave the house at 6 am, so it's exciting from the word go. I'm going to make spicy cabbage soup for oh and maybe even some bread to go with it - with a bread mix, if I can find one. It will be great to see him and the cats.
I'd like to wish a positive weekend to all and hope that your Dad pain eases and he can be made more comfortable.
Keep your spirits up.
Lots of love and hugs, Heidi xx
Have a lovely weekend Heidi you deserve it xx I will update you after the weekend xx have fun xx goodnight all xxx
Thanks Exhausted. I'm just having my early morning cuppa and getting ready. I hope all goes better for you.
Xx
Xx
Hi exhausted , how are you and your dad ? I hope he is showing some signs of improvement and that you are managing okay ? I remember when my mum wasn't well a couple of years ago and feeling the emotional strain of trying to keep it all together while trying to be practical and dealing with the everyday needs. My mum wasn't so good today , very agitated and is still a bit restless . I went out with a friend for a meal tonight but having came home she has been up and down . Fingers crossed she sleeps . I've been so tired this week , busy at work and have had a few interrupted nights sleeps with my mum getting up . I know she can't help it but it really is draining at times . Has your dad still got blood in his urine ? Hope his oxygen levels have improved ? I hope your taking care of yourself .
Rob - how are you and your OH ? Did you manage to get suitable shoes?
Hope the both of you are well?
Heidi - that's great that you are having a very well deserved break . Hope you have a lovely time . Hope your dad is ok?
Shedrech - how are you and your dad ? Hope he's over his cold ?
Take care everyone and keep posting so that we can help support each other . Best wishes, Lou X
Rob - how are you and your OH ? Did you manage to get suitable shoes?
Hope the both of you are well?
Heidi - that's great that you are having a very well deserved break . Hope you have a lovely time . Hope your dad is ok?
Shedrech - how are you and your dad ? Hope he's over his cold ?
Take care everyone and keep posting so that we can help support each other . Best wishes, Lou X
Morning Lou. That's not good news. Can you nip off to bed for a couple of hours while your mum sleeps in the afternoon, that works for me whenever I get the chance.
We did not try again for shoes yet. The problem is that she forgets which foot was hurting and which shoes were most comfortable, then goes a few days without hurting in the old shoes, so never quite sure what we are buying. Sorry, it's such a little thing.
Morning Exhausted. I hope your weekend is going better than previous weeks and you and your dad can get some respite.
Morning Heidi. Let us know how your weekend away in the city went.
Best wishes all. Rob
We did not try again for shoes yet. The problem is that she forgets which foot was hurting and which shoes were most comfortable, then goes a few days without hurting in the old shoes, so never quite sure what we are buying. Sorry, it's such a little thing.
Morning Exhausted. I hope your weekend is going better than previous weeks and you and your dad can get some respite.
Morning Heidi. Let us know how your weekend away in the city went.
Best wishes all. Rob
