1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Has everyone knows by now (who have read my posts) dad does not sleep at night and we have just had three weeks from hell with him.. Don't want to bore anyone with the details but after last night I rang the doctor and told him that I needed emergency respite and explained what had been going on... He decided to come out and assess dad and on telling him that Dad had been having some intermittent shoulder and chest pain he sent us to the hospital.. I've just returned and learned that dad has had a mild heart attack discovered by a blood test as he has a pacemaker.. I feel so bad because I have been losing my patience with him due to lack of sleep... So need a hug please... Also the raid team are going to assess him whilst he is in hospital because his moods are turning to aggression.. I'm just hoping that they will be able to come up with some solution for his sleeplessness.. Feel better now I've got it off my chest.. Exhausted 2015 xx
     
  2. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,739
    I am sending you an instant, warm all enveloping big bear hug xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Take it straight to bed with you along with some lovely thoughts or memories. Get rid of that guilty feeling - I've been reading your posts and I'm full of admiration for you - you've been an absolute star, bloomin marvellous and I don't know how you have coped xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Thank goodness you phoned the Doc and the hospital have picked up a relatively mild problem and you are now going to get the help you so need.

    Get a good night's sleep xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. tatty

    tatty Registered User

    Oct 14, 2015
    61
    Hi sorry you have had such a rotten time but glad your dad is being given the medical care he needs and hopefully you will have some respite now too, if you don't allow the guilt monster to interfere!

    Your difficlties make me realise how lucky we are ... sleep deprivation is a form of torture after all.

    BIG VIRTUAL HuG to you, sleep well.:);)
     
  4. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Thank you so much fizzie xxxx a good night's sleep is much needed I'm so tired I couldn't think straight at the hospital earlier.. Just unwinding with a glass of wine then it's off to bed.. Thanks again xx
     
  5. Emac

    Emac Registered User

    Mar 2, 2013
    174
    No sleep equals no patience so let yourself off the hook. The only thing you are guilty of is not being a doctor, or psychic i.e. no reason to feel guilt at all. :) :) :)
    Big Big hug...and everything fizzie said. Go get some much needed rest now. Your Dad is being looked after xxxxxx
     
  6. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Thanks all feel better for the hugs they were much needed after last night and today xx going to get some sleep now xx goodnight all xx hope everyone's night is peaceful xxxx
     
  7. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,053
    Yorkshire
    My gosh, it never rains but it pours
    your poor dad will get the medical support he needs now
    you've done so well looking after him for such a time without rest - how could you have done more
    so take time to breath and sleep
    best wishes
     
  8. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    A massive bear hug coming over the Internet to you xxx have a good long sleep and please please don't feel guilty at all. It really is a waste of time, it isn't necessary and it really isn't helpful. Nothing could have prevented his heart attack that wasn't already being done. It's just one of those things. As for you not picking it up... Are you a qualified Dr, with access to blood tests? Come on!!! Be kind to yourself and give yourself a pat on the back. You are doing absolutely amazing. I don't think I could cope with the lack of sleep like you have been doing with any sense coming out of my mouth.

    Having said that I'm going to be tired tomorrow. I can't sleep cos my other half is snoring so loud and I could scream with frustration.... Instead I've come on here.

    Enjoy as much as you can that this little break will give you, see if some proper regular respite can be set up while he is in xxx
     
  9. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    ((((((((((((((Huge hugs exhausted)))))))))))))))!!

    As has been said, your Dad is in the right place to get the medical attention he needs and maybe the time away will right his routine a bit. Mine came back from respite sleeping better for a while, although last night he was whistling at 5am. ( Yes, he whistles for me!!!).

    Some sound sleep will make so much difference to the way you feel. Lets hope you can get something regular sorted.

    Lots of love Heidi xx
     
  10. tryingmybest

    tryingmybest Registered User

    May 22, 2015
    619
    Female
    Oh my darling here is the biggest hug in the world for you. I wish I could give it to you in person. You are my inspiration as I am only 9 months into my journey yet you have been caring for your Dad for years. You are just wonderful to have coped for so long and you've always done your very best for your Dad so dont feel bad. Instead, make the most of this time for yourself. Catch up on much needed sleep (stay in all day if you want to) and be kind to yourself. Dad is being looked after and this is your time to have a little break. I hope they will be able to help Dad and get some sort of sleep pattern reinstated in some way and when he returns you will be refreshed and able to cope once more. I have sleep apnea and have to wear a special mask and use a machine to help with my breathing so that together with getting up for Mum all the time leaves me feeling very poorly so I do know how lack of sleep has been making you feel. Once again huge hugs to you. Xxxxxx
     
  11. Louby65

    Louby65 Registered User

    Mar 26, 2014
    620
    Scotland
    Aww exhausted2015, you most certainly deserve a great big hug which is winging its way towards you ({}) . Don't be so hard on yourself , as I know only too well , what sleep deprivation feels like. The important thing is your dad got the attention he needed and will feel better for it and hopefully , by the time he is ready to come home, you will have recharged your batteries ready for the next episode. I wish a healthy , happy and peaceful 2016 to you and your family . Xx
     
  12. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    What wonderful people you are

    I'm overwhelmed by everyone's kind words of support and praise, I don't consider myself remarkable in anyway I just get on with it, but the last few weeks have brought me to my knees with lack of sleep and dads incontinence.. Dad is still in hospital tonight so can have another nights rest.. But am wide awake at the moment, had a nice quiet evening tonight watched the new year in and my birthday also but can't seem to wind down... Anyway to get back to the thread thanks again all you wonderful people your support is very much appreciated and I wish you all a peaceful new year xxxx
     
  13. Frankieisblue

    Frankieisblue Registered User

    Dec 19, 2015
    58
    Massive hug

    Coming your way from Cardiff
     
  14. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Happy New Year exhausted2015. You may not think that you are remarkable, but you truly are. Hope you are feeling well rested and calm in the knowledge that your Dad is being looked after.

    Lots of love Heidi xx
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,567
    Female
    South coast
    Oh my goodness exhausted. I have just found this thread.
    At least you now know why your dad was being so difficult, that he is getting the treatment he needs and you can have a bit of a break.
    I do hope you are asleep now.
     
  16. Mrsbusy

    Mrsbusy Registered User

    Aug 15, 2015
    356
    Belated Happy birthday wishes, have a virtual hug and a virtual bunch of flowers and a large drink!
     
  17. Spikey53

    Spikey53 Registered User

    Dec 29, 2015
    3
    Sending you a lovely big hug

    I have just read your post and I do hope you have been able to have some rest, you are wonderful and what you are doing for your dad is amazing, you deserve some respite and support and I hope it comes. Big hug xx

     
  18. exhausted 2015

    exhausted 2015 Registered User

    Jul 5, 2015
    624
    Female
    stoke on trent
    Update on Dad

    Hello all been to see Dad again today and he is doing OK ...nurse said test's have shown He's a little dehydrated so they may put a drip in tomorrow xx they have also commented on his inability to sleep at night xx but he is doing well and did manage to wish me an Happy birthday after being reminded by my sister I gave him a kiss and thanked him ..on leaving the nurse advised me to get some sleep whilst I can so I'm guessing they have had a little insight.. So going to bed now ..goodnight all and many thanks again for all the hugs and kind word's of support.. I hope that 2016 will be peaceful for us all ...exhausted 2015 xxx
     
  19. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    Glad he is ok and being looked after well. Also glad the nurse has the insight to send to off to rest xxxx
     
  20. copsham

    copsham Registered User

    Oct 11, 2012
    592
    Oxfordshire
    Hello Exhausted 2015
    Your thread bought tears to my eyes. Sleep deprivation is the worst . Hard to deal with and can be so persistent. Hope the decsion making turns out positve for you. You sound so caring for your Dad!

    Belated happy birthday and hope 2016 gives you a little respite and lots of hugs.
     

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