I'm 14 and need someone hopefully a similar age to talk to.

Discussion in 'Younger people with dementia and their carers' started by SophieAnn, Apr 21, 2015.

  1. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    60,133
    Female
    Dundee
    Izzy it's part if their job to listen to you.
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,267
    Yorkshire
    Hi again IzzyA
    You are being very thoughtful about your teacher
    however Izzy is right - when I was a teacher I hoped a student with any concerns would be able to come talk to me and was very happy to listen and help whenever I could - my own life was a totally separate thing, set aside when I entered through the school gate each day, certainly not to be put before the concerns of my students - during school hours, I was there to teach, tutor and mentor (yes I needed to have a break for food and such, but that's not what you mean) - that's what you happily take on when you become a teacher, it is an important part of your work
    I would actually have been upset if I thought a student who had started to talk to me didn't keep up the conversation because s/he thought I didn't want her bothering me - I'd much rather be 'bothered' by you than worry that you were bottling things up again
    - so do talk to the teacher, please
    maybe try a compromise - agree a weekly meet to catch up on how things are going, with the promise that you'll pop in to see him at any other time if something crops up

    You must be really looking forward to half term break, bet it's been a busy half term so far!
     
  3. CynthsDaugh

    CynthsDaugh Registered User

    May 5, 2015
    140
    Salford, Lancashire
    Hi IzzyA,

    I would also say don't be worried about taking up your teachers time or 'bothering' them. I'm sure any teacher would rather know what is going on with you, and support you any way they can.

    When I was a teenager (& I'm not saying how long ago that was!), I was going through a rough time although for different reasons to your own. My teachers did try talking to me but similar to you I thought 'don't want to burden you', 'it's my situation to deal with', 'you just WON'T understand' etc.

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing, and now as an adult I wish I had talked to them as I'm fairly sure just letting them know the things I was going through would have helped and they would have been very supportive. I also think frequently trying to say 'everything is OK' was quite hard work in itself.

    You say you'd find it difficult to talk to a counsellor you don't know about your personal life. They are trained to hear the sort of things you need to say, from people they have never met before, and should be able to help you to talk about it. Their job is to help - please let them.

    Anyway sending you virtual hugs, hope you have a good half term.

    Sally
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,540
    Merseyside
    Hi Izzy :)

    Hope you're ok & that your week hasn't been too bad.
    When do you go away?
     
  5. IzzyA

    IzzyA Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    36
    It's been okay thanks. We're going for half term (24th to 31st).
    I'm getting used to Dad at the next stage of the illness and I've started getting my homework done before I leave school so that it doesn't matter how Dad is behaving in the evenings.
    But I'm still not sleeping. I'm just unfunctionably tired a fair amount of the time. It goes up and down and sometimes I feel fine. Tuesday I had such a low down I just sat in my teachers classroom and cried. Sometimes I'm physically exhausted, sometimes mentally but everything feels worse when I'm tired...
     
  6. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,540
    Merseyside
    That's great about doing your homework in school. It takes the pressure of you.

    Re the sleep maybe going away will press the reset button & enable you to sleep properly.
     
  7. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,540
    Merseyside
    I hope you have fab holiday Izzy.
     
  8. IzzyA

    IzzyA Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    36
    I did! Thank you!

    It was a good break and I caught up on sleep. It also served to remind me that I can achieve anything and face anything when I've had enough sleep.

    Now with a week of school behind me and sleep pattern out of the window yet again I am remembering that I can face anything!

    I still felt rubbish at school a couple of days last week but I was able to take positive steps. I emersed myself in my friends who all now know about Dad and I still went to the classroom but not just to cry.

    I do my homework in there afterschool everyday I can to take off the pressure and I even grabbed a 20 minute snooze on Friday breaktime.

    This feels like a positive step despite continued screaming and shouting and increased agitation from Dad at home...
     
  9. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    8,267
    Yorkshire
    Really good to hear from you, IzzyA.
    A lovely positive post - what strides you have made.
    You seem to have some special friends, not a surprise considering how special you are.
    Glad you had a good break and that you are working out a routine for your school days.
    Keep us in the picture once in a while :)
     
  10. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,540
    Merseyside
    Hi Izzy

    I'm so glad you had a good holiday & that you are managing your school situation so well.
    You've made so much progress.
     
  11. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,708
    North West
    I agree with the others Izzy. You are coping with this in a very mature way.
     
  12. IzzyA

    IzzyA Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    36
    #92 IzzyA, Nov 9, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2015
    ...Thanks to everyone on TP and my teacher. Xx
     
  13. chellebowen

    chellebowen Registered User

    Nov 12, 2015
    6
    Essex
    Hi there,

    My mum passed away last month (about 3 weeks ago) and I now want to help in anyway I can to others which have gone or going through what I did.

    I am 28 and my mum was 56 when she passed. I was 14/15 when this all happened and I have had to care and deal with all the ups and downs from this illness.

    I have quickly had a look on the thread and its so nice to see so much positive feedback as we are all not alone as I know sometimes it feels like that.

    I am not sure if anyone has any questions or help they want to ask and if I can help in anyway I will :):)

    Michelle xx
     
  14. JasWil

    JasWil Registered User

    Nov 16, 2015
    2
    My granddaughter is 13 and has been a carer for my daughter for a few years now. Her school has a carer group at school and a place near us also has a young carer group for school age children. Hopefully your school can put you in touch with young carers in your area.
     
  15. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,540
    Merseyside
    Hi Izzy how are things?
     
  16. IzzyA

    IzzyA Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    36
    Variable.

    I've pretty much sorted my sleep and Dad had a few weeks that were better. He still shouts a lot though and with no obvious trigger.

    He can be a real monster and even when he isn't he's irritating and irritable. Sometimes I genuinely struggle to even like him. This upsets me because I love him and I know it's not his fault.

    The worst thing is when he gets very angry and then cries. He's my Dad - he's supposed to be invincible. Seeing him like this breaks me.

    A knee injury means I'm feeling quite cooped up in the house. I usually run most days which allows me to get some fresh air and clear my head without Dad making stupid noises in the next room as he is now.

    In general I'm good though! Getting enough sleep really helps. Everything seems worse when one is perpetually tired...!
     
  17. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,540
    Merseyside
    I totally understand your feelings about not liking your dad. I struggle with that myself.

    I hope your knee gets better quickly.
     
  18. IzzyA

    IzzyA Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    36
    Thanks.

    Maybe it's not my Dad I don't like, simply the stranger he has become...
     
  19. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,540
    Merseyside
    I know. I'm sorry for wording it badly.
     
  20. IzzyA

    IzzyA Registered User

    Sep 17, 2015
    36

    Don't worry. I worded it like that too. And I have to remind myself it's not Dad.
     

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