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I'm 14 and need someone hopefully a similar age to talk to.

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,851
0
Merseyside
Oh Izzy I'm so sorry things are so bad at the moment.
Aggression is so hard to deal with as we tread on eggshells to avoid it & make ourselves so tense worrying about it.
 

IzzyA'sMum

Registered User
May 11, 2016
11
0
Well my user name is probably the giveaway.
I expect I'm breaking some terrible internet etiquette by joining in.

IzzyA is a daughter in a million and it is truly horrific that she and her brothers have to endure this awful situation.
Thank you to everyone who has helped her and posted such encouraging comments.
Her Dad is going away for a second week of respite the week after next, and we can't wait. In the meantime, everyone is doing exams and her father continues to make our lives a misery.
I am very worried about IzzyA, who is frequently falling asleep at school and has totally lost her motivation for most things. Her school grades are dropping and she has now walked out of lessons on several occasions, even walking out of a maths exam (her favourite subject in the world) and sleeping through an entire french exam.
It's tough enough to effectively be a single working parent, plus struggling with the behaviour of an irrational toddler in a adult body and the fallout of the effect he has on us.
Yes he hit our youngest son for no reason at all. Yes the Social Worker knows.
Then with his carers/neighbours etc he is sweetness and light and I feel I must be going mad. I'm not. IzzyA'sDad saves his worst behaviour for us, and especiallly me.
Our house is not a happy place to be and it tears me apart.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,642
0
Yorkshire
Hello IzzyA'sMum
lovely to meet you
you and your husband must be very special people to have raised such an eloquent and caring daughter
I'm really glad you feel the responses to IzzyA have been helpful and encouraging; you've set my mind at rest that we were supporting her and not doing any harm

I'm so sorry to read that she is having such a hard time at school - I was hoping that she wasn't posting because she had worked out ways to cope
I guess you are in contact with the school and that the pastoral team there are helping her - it must be so tricky for you all to find a way of helping her to keep on track, yet not put on pressure

And you yourself have so much on your shoulders - have you any support? You sound worn down with all the responsibility.
It really is common for the person with dementia to manage to present well for others and yet behave very differently to those who are the closest, and makes getting help difficult - is there any possibility of some respite care for your husband to give you and your children some time to recuperate? Sometimes it's suggested to use a mobile phone to film some of the behaviours that concern you and aren't seen by others so that those involved in supporting the family can see for themselves - I believe you are a GP and I appreciate that there may be issues around confidentiality, however might this help your case with SWs?

I'm so glad you have posted so that you too can share in the support this forum offers - if you feel you are nudging in on IzzyA's 'territory' just start a new thread of your own, you'll find members will respond with sympathy, understanding and helpful ideas

welcome, and do post again
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,851
0
Merseyside
Well my user name is probably the giveaway.
I expect I'm breaking some terrible internet etiquette by joining in.

IzzyA is a daughter in a million and it is truly horrific that she and her brothers have to endure this awful situation.
Thank you to everyone who has helped her and posted such encouraging comments.
Her Dad is going away for a second week of respite the week after next, and we can't wait. In the meantime, everyone is doing exams and her father continues to make our lives a misery.
I am very worried about IzzyA, who is frequently falling asleep at school and has totally lost her motivation for most things. Her school grades are dropping and she has now walked out of lessons on several occasions, even walking out of a maths exam (her favourite subject in the world) and sleeping through an entire french exam.
It's tough enough to effectively be a single working parent, plus struggling with the behaviour of an irrational toddler in a adult body and the fallout of the effect he has on us.
Yes he hit our youngest son for no reason at all. Yes the Social Worker knows.
Then with his carers/neighbours etc he is sweetness and light and I feel I must be going mad. I'm not. IzzyA'sDad saves his worst behaviour for us, and especiallly me.
Our house is not a happy place to be and it tears me apart.

I thinks it's great you've joined. Izzy is a star.
I'm sorry things are so tough for you all at the moment.
 

IzzyA'sMum

Registered User
May 11, 2016
11
0
Thank you Oxy for your PM.
Apparently I cannot send the reply I have composed until I have posted 10 times.
This is number 2.
 

IzzyA'sMum

Registered User
May 11, 2016
11
0
Thank you Shedrech for your lovely post.

I have found a counsellor for IzzyA, and she's going to talk to her next week. I hope it may help. School are being very supportive and she's only year 10, so the "big" exams aren't until next year.
 

stanleypj

Registered User
Dec 8, 2011
10,712
0
North West
Good to hear that Izzy will have a chance to talk to a counsellor. Good to that the school are supportive and we're only talking about Year 10.

I think those of us who have read Izzy's posts here are very impressed by her maturity and at how articulate she is. I can understand why you think she's one in a million.

I do hope that with support she'll be able to do herself justice in a year's time. As a former teacher I know how kids can overcome these massive personal problems and still do well academically but it certainly isn't easy.

Good luck to you and yours.