Alan had pull up pants on and he pulled them down enough to pee.
I am more worried about the devastating effects on me. It feels like all the balls have fallen to the floor again and my mind is in turmoil. I am supposed to work on Monday and as a lot of you know I work from home and I can't possibly think of working from home with pee and pooh (if this happens) all over the place
I am devastated because the implications of each little thing are massive.
I have phoned the care home tonight and asked them to talk to me about respite. The woman was lovely but the Manager wasn't there. By me doing this, it shows that I am not able to cope much longer. I could go through the emergency services tonight but social services are bad enough during the daytime so I don't want to risk a shambles with the emergency lot. I am sending an email to my own social worker tonight so that I can't get out of it.
I have phoned Alan's son who lives alone in Sheffield since he decided to abandon his family, and asked him to pick up his dad in the morning and keep him overnight so that I can get a break because I can't cope. He said he didn't think his place was safe for his dad and I said it would be safe because he would need to be on 24 hour alert just like I am on a permanent basis. He is coming in the morning but he didn't commit to the overnight.
I have had to ring my sister's place to say that I will not be able to see her tomorrow as planned. They were very kind and worried about me.
I can't stop crying tonight. I feel I have completely collapsed as a person.