I am at breakdown today
- Thread starter Helen33
- Start date
At breakdown
Dear Helen
I've just read your earlier message and how I relate to it. It reminds me of a recent stand up row with my husband who argued about a new watch strap that I had fitted for him because I thought he would find it easier to manage. He said he wanted to kill me and I said I wished he was dead. How on earth do we cope with such situations when there is no end in sight?
Dear Helen
I've just read your earlier message and how I relate to it. It reminds me of a recent stand up row with my husband who argued about a new watch strap that I had fitted for him because I thought he would find it easier to manage. He said he wanted to kill me and I said I wished he was dead. How on earth do we cope with such situations when there is no end in sight?
Hi Dancer, there are two ways I cope. One way is to let it pass rather than dwell on it and the other is to see it as a sign that something needs to change. My feelings and behaviour are like a thermometer which tell me what is acceptable and what is not.
ALAN HAS JUST ABOUT FULLY RECOVERED ALL HIS LOST ABILITIES
This morning Alan got up, washed, shaved, dressed himself in clean pyjamas, ate his breakfast, came downstairs on his own and has been out of bed all day
He is now continent again. The only new thing is that he was showing pain where the problem is in his lung and so I rang the GP. She was astounded at this sudden turn and pleased. She said he could take ibuprofen for a few days. He is having an x-ray tomorrow morning. The Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) came and took a whole loads of jobs off me. She said she will do the ringing round and sort out assessments
She said I could call her if I was ever stuck and needed a prescription or something important The Social Worker rang me because the CPN had contacted her and she will arrange for someone to bath Alan once a weekThe District Nurse came and that was good and she told me I could call her if ever the need arose in the future.
I had a brainwave last night
I thought about future respite and meeting Alan's particular needs. I thought I would make an appointment to speak to the Manager of the care home and ask whether she would be willing for Alan to have respite there but with his own Crossroads sitters during the daytime hours!! He needs one to one care in order for him to be assisted to do the things that he can and without this assistance he cannot function. I really do feel that he has a right to have his needs met. I asked the Social Worker whether my thinking was off the planet and she said "no I think it is a good idea because Alan has a right to have his needs met". So when I get some space and time I will talk to the Manager of the care home, then I will talk to Crossroads and then I will get back to the Social Worker and put a case together. This means that should I feel on the verge of collapse something is pre-organised to meet Alan's particular needs rather than him being placed somewhere inadequate for him. Please keep your fingers crossed.
Love
![everything%20crossed[1].jpg](/data/attachments/6/6044-dac365a4f2781de22ed7b2b7c697b1df.jpg)
Excellent Helen, I hope you achieve exactly that which sounds sensible and an excellent idea to me. Carers Link in my area have asked all carers to make a contingency plan which is then registered with Social Services, you may have read me writing about this before. I feel so much happier knowing I have a plan of action should anything happen to me which would make me unable to care for my husband either short term or long term.
You sound like you are getting there again, well done. Take care.
You sound like you are getting there again, well done. Take care.
Alan has kept me up all night He has been whistling and talking and I felt like I was being tortured!! It is so hard to know the reality of our situation as the picture keeps moving from one situation to another so quickly. I am absolutely shattered AGAIN
I've got to take him to the hospital for an x-ray this morning and the way I feel I could just leave him there.
Love
He has been whistling and talking and I felt like I was being tortured!! It is so hard to know the reality of our situation as the picture keeps moving from one situation to another so quickly. I am absolutely shattered AGAINI've got to take him to the hospital for an x-ray this morning and the way I feel I could just leave him there.
Love
I don't know Sylvia and I don't care. If he falls asleep I will not be able to get him ready for the hospital and so I will cancel it. I am too tired to bother. I have never had a night like it and the feelings that accompanied it were not very pleasant
helen hope Alan amd you are asleep now, take youe wonder womam pants off and chill for a while, thinking of you love pam, Sylvia what are you doing up at this time too, is Dirhen restless
I have never had a night like it and the feelings that accompanied it were not very pleasant
Oh dear Helen - sounds like you are experiencing the same as me -it is absolutely awful having interrupted sleep and I know what you mean about the feelings!!
I took your advice last night and stopped the Amtriptylene - David only woke at 4 am and peed straight into the toilet
- Yippee!! - then again at 6 am. HOWEVER, I was awake from 2 am wondering what had happened to him.........I do hope your day improves
Love
