Hi All, Just a quick update, well I don't like to jinx things but ......since the care review when I spoke about not asking mum about things, just getting on and making microwave meals etc ..... mum has for the last fortnight been accepting these, and carers also making sandwiches on the days when she's been at day care for a hot meal at lunch too. Long may it last!! Also had the conversation with my sister and said I felt I can't come up more frequently than am already doing , so if she needs more support (and I understand that she does and am am fully supportive of this), that it will mean buying in extra care to release her. Now that mum is accepting more help, this would be an option. I have left it with my sister to decide what she'd like to happen and will take it from there, but she does accept that I can't offer more help than I'm already doing on my monthly visits and taking mum to all medical appointments, doing "bulky " shopping, paperwork, repairs etc. So feeling more positive at the moment ...... just hope I haven't spoken too soon and it all goes pear shaped!