House Advice part 2

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nita

Registered User
Dec 30, 2011
2,657
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Essex
@MaNaAk - I think that would be a bit of a "busman's holiday" for @Ineedhelp as she already works in a centre helping people with their problems, even though it's not a charity.

It's a shame her niece hasn't thought of her being on her own but young people tend to be a bit self-centred and she wants to be with her boyfriend (?) and friends. I hope she is sharing in the household costs and that @Ineedhelp is not having to bear it all.

If it weren't for my brother, I too would be on my own at Christmas as you find that people you know want to be with their own families at that time. I personally think it is all overrated even if you have got family to share it with. They often fall out at this time of forced jollity.

If you can just get through the day - perhaps watch a boxset and buy yourself some nice things to eat, laze about and just enjoy the time off. The day will soon be over and you'll find people are not in such a good mood afterwards and are worried about all the money they've spent.

One other thought - does Christmas mean anything to you spiritually - you could go to a church service - maybe you know people there? That after all is the real meaning of Christmas - sorry if that sounds a bit preachy.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,554
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Southampton
just remember christmas is just one day. definitely overrated even with a family. my nan used to like to spend the day on her own doing what she wanted to do when she wanted to do it. freedom
 

sdmhred

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Jan 26, 2022
2,171
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Surrey
During covid when I was on my own I pretended ‘special days’ were just ordinary days. It worked well. I just carried on as usual..
 

Ineedhelp

Registered User
Apr 10, 2023
395
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@MaNaAk - I think that would be a bit of a "busman's holiday" for @Ineedhelp as she already works in a centre helping people with their problems, even though it's not a charity.

It's a shame her niece hasn't thought of her being on her own but young people tend to be a bit self-centred and she wants to be with her boyfriend (?) and friends. I hope she is sharing in the household costs and that @Ineedhelp is not having to bear it all.

If it weren't for my brother, I too would be on my own at Christmas as you find that people you know want to be with their own families at that time. I personally think it is all overrated even if you have got family to share it with. They often fall out at this time of forced jollity.

If you can just get through the day - perhaps watch a boxset and buy yourself some nice things to eat, laze about and just enjoy the time off. The day will soon be over and you'll find people are not in such a good mood afterwards and are worried about all the money they've spent.

One other thought - does Christmas mean anything to you spiritually - you could go to a church service - maybe you know people there? That after all is the real meaning of Christmas - sorry if that sounds a bit preachy.
Yes. I was brought Catholic and I went back to church since my mum passed in April. Thanks
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,879
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Essex
I totally get with what you are saying
I've got two friends coming round something which I've been doing since dad passed away otherwise I would also be on my own. Xmas 2016 was just dad and I both of us missed my brothers and Xmas 2017 dad's Alzheimer's was progressing to severe and I remember being in tears at one point because neither brother was there to help with anything and dad was asking about going 'home'. I found myself saying to dad "It's Xmas Day! It's Xmas Day" but that said after lunch I actually got dad out for a stroll and on Boxing Day I seem to remember that we stopped in a coffee shop.

MaNaAk
 

Ineedhelp

Registered User
Apr 10, 2023
395
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Hi All,

Recent news to update you with the house is under offer, but the terrible twins their solicitor has informed my solicitor that the cost of their court action has to be absorbed by the estate. I am going to take my solicitors advice on this, but I want to contest this. The house is under offer.
Like everybody on this site, I am just coping day to day, not feeling very festive. I have wrapped up my niece's stuff, present for my good friend and my uncle. I got minor things for other relatives and buy a couple of things for myself. Debating whethere to just get a takeaway or cook.
I went out with my work team for a Christmas lunch, it was lovely and the company was great, but just feeling a bit low
 

Knitandpurl

Registered User
Aug 9, 2021
782
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Lincolnshire
Agree with you , why should estate pay the costs of their court case they didn’t need ? But also about taking solicitor’s advice. Hope sale goes through quickly and everything gets sorted soon, will be so good when you can start to put this whole awful scenario behind you. It was good having a nice Christmas lunch, a sign that things will get better in the future. I think many of us feel down this time of year, and thsts without everything you have been through. Just earlier on this evening I said “ohh, I do miss my Mum”. This is the second Christmas she’s been gone, but I still miss her (and my Dad, and he’s been gone 25 years). I’ve rarely found Christmas to be a specially happy time, I think it’s hyped up do much that even when you do get a good one it can’t meet expectations!
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,879
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Essex
Dear @Ineedhelp,

I'm glad you enjoyed your Xmas lunch and I hope that on Xmas Day you give yourself an extra. Personally I don't think much of the TT's solicitor and I think he is interested in his till!

MaNaAk
 

Ineedhelp

Registered User
Apr 10, 2023
395
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Dear @Ineedhelp,

I'm glad you enjoyed your Xmas lunch and I hope that on Xmas Day you give yourself an extra. Personally I don't think much of the TT's solicitor and I think he is interested in his till!

MaNaAk
I forgot to mention I am making a complaint about him to SLCC (Scottish Legal Complaints Commission). I met this man when he was appointment an independent safeguarder to the horrible father I had. His firm admitted in a letter to my solicitor that he did act for the TT's even though he was suppose to be an independent safeguarder appointed by the local court.
My good friend is going to pop round on Christmas day, so that helps a lot.
 

Ineedhelp

Registered User
Apr 10, 2023
395
0
Hi Everybody,

Hope everyone is okay and trying to deal with everything life throws at us as ex-carers or carers to PWD. Does anyone know how I would go about taking the TT's to court in Scotland for perjury. In 2019 both of them lied in civil court under oath. I have text messages that show this,
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,879
0
Essex
I forgot to mention I am making a complaint about him to SLCC (Scottish Legal Complaints Commission). I met this man when he was appointment an independent safeguarder to the horrible father I had. His firm admitted in a letter to my solicitor that he did act for the TT's even though he was suppose to be an independent safeguarder appointed by the local court.
My good friend is going to pop round on Christmas day, so that helps a lot.
Yes I've got friends coming as well and today we enjoyed Fish and Chips. I still say that their solicitor is interested in his till.

MaNaAk
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,879
0
Essex
Hi Everybody,

Hope everyone is okay and trying to deal with everything life throws at us as ex-carers or carers to PWD. Does anyone know how I would go about taking the TT's to court in Scotland for perjury. In 2019 both of them lied in civil court under oath. I have text messages that show this,
I would imagine your solicitor could help with this

MaNaAk
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,554
0
Southampton
I forgot to mention I am making a complaint about him to SLCC (Scottish Legal Complaints Commission). I met this man when he was appointment an independent safeguarder to the horrible father I had. His firm admitted in a letter to my solicitor that he did act for the TT's even though he was suppose to be an independent safeguarder appointed by the local court.
My good friend is going to pop round on Christmas day, so that helps a lot.
im just wondering what you want to achieve by complaining. how long ago was it, is there a time limit on it? it might open old wounds up again. not always that pleasant. good you have a friend coming on christmas day. try not to dwell on things, its very freeing
 

Ineedhelp

Registered User
Apr 10, 2023
395
0
im just wondering what you want to achieve by complaining. how long ago was it, is there a time limit on it? it might open old wounds up again. not always that pleasant. good you have a friend coming on christmas day. try not to dwell on things, its very freeing
I understand what your saying but by doing this I am closing a chapter on a very nasty period in my life. He embarrassed my wonderful mum and he made some horrendous comments about me as well. No, there is no time limit. I am closing it on my own terms.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
23,554
0
Southampton
I understand what your saying but by doing this I am closing a chapter on a very nasty period in my life. He embarrassed my wonderful mum and he made some horrendous comments about me as well. No, there is no time limit. I am closing it on my own terms.
i understand that you want closure. sometimes closure comes from acceptance. i spent years having therapy, fighting against things, even making a statement but it was only when i decided to live my life for me and my family, cutting others out totally, and not wanting anything in return, i felt free and light.
 

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
11,879
0
Essex
i understand that you want closure. sometimes closure comes from acceptance. i spent years having therapy, fighting against things, even making a statement but it was only when i decided to live my life for me and my family, cutting others out totally, and not wanting anything in return, i felt free and light.
Yes I'm free as well.

MaNaAk
 

Scarlet Lady

Registered User
Apr 6, 2021
582
0
Hi, Victoria. Glad to hear that by and large things are going well. Good to hear that you’ve had an offer for the house, already. Settlement may be quick, hopefully. Have to admit to being a bit worried about the legal professionals your family is involved with. Neither firm of solicitors seem very competent to say the least. The person engaged by the TTS seems very unethical in that there may be a conflict of interests over their involvement with your late father. The idea that a ludicrous court action brought by your sisters should be paid for out of the estate is not only nonsensical, it’s plain wrong. Your own solicitors should be bringing in the big guns here, but for some reason they are not. If it were me, I’d be unhappy with the service provided and would maybe be consulting the Citizens Advice Bureau to find out if there are better people out there who can provide a decent service.
Hope you and Jordan have a good Christmas. X
 
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