Dear Nan
Hang in there. They haven't yet said no.
True, they have not. Although I can see the logic if they think the hospital is willing to discharge Henry to them before the diabetes problem has been resolved.
On the other hand, I think, well, the care home is registered for 24 hour nursing care, they will have other diabetic residents. The home nursing staff also do the 3/4 monthly HBA1c glucose level blood tests and report the result to the GPs. (The other local home does not, I would have to accompany Henry to our town's Health Centre for the diabetes nurse to do this)
But I have lost hope. When I spoke on the phone to the CH nurse at the home on Saturday and asked how long it would be after the assessment before Henry was moved to the home, she said quite quickly, probably two days later.
I feel that OF COURSE you should have been included. What could have been said that you should not have been able to hear?
Exactly, Nan. But this has been the attitude all along. Exclusion. I was upset by the hospital nures's demeanour when the CH nurse mentioned me being included. Silence. A frown, tightened lips, turning to leave the room.
It has been a very quiet day. A quiet house, quiet outside, except for the wind. A quiet telephone.
I spent a large part of this morning drafting and then typing a letter to our GP. Not that I expect her to do anything, nor to respond. She did not when I updated her in February but when she phoned me late March about ordering a replacement walking aid she did thank me then, and said she appreciated my update and asked what the situation was then.
If Henry ever does go into this first choice care home, or the other local one, and she remains his GP then she will have the background information concerning all that has happened.
Should she leave, she has been married three years and a baby is bound to come along sometime, then I would think my updates will be in Henry's file for another GP to read. (She has recently started doing the Mother and Baby clinic!)
I was pleased with how Henry was yesterday when the CH nurse talked with us. He responded well, at times it was even a three way conversation, or near enough. His memory was poor, as I previously said, although when she told him where the care home was, at the end of the street by the same name where he lived with his parents, he knew where that was, and that it was opposite the church. When she asked him our home address he thought for a wee while. I tried to prompt him, saying we had lived here for 47 years, reminded him of the garden, the new kitchen installed two years ago. Then he said clearly and firmly "I'm sorry but I can't remember". Usually when he can't remember he becomes a bit agitated and irritable.
Although I was rather dismayed when after introducing herself, shaking hands with Henry, she straight away told him she was from the ******* nursing home, she had come to see how he felt about going there to see it. If he liked it, to stay there. Saying this several times as he was silent.
Henry looked bewildered then alarmed then when after she said it again he replied "No, I would not like that". She went on quite a bit about this then said to me "He looks anxious". He did.
I was rather annoyed by her introductory direct approach and told her I had not directly talked to him about a care home, particularly avoiding the word "home", although had seveal times talked around it, telling him he would be moving on to another place as he was in a hospital after fracturing his hip. Mentioning that other health problems had developed, he would receive the same care and nursing as now, but not in a hospital, and that beds were needed for patients with fractures coming from other hospitals. I kept it simple, saying just enough and then sliding off the subject. Terrified he would say "Why am I not coming home".
Yesterday as his anxiety grew I linked my arm through his, stroked his hand and said don't be anxious, explaining he had already been in three hospitals over a long time. The care home would be nicer, there would be more things to do (??), he would have a comfy room of his own, not a clinical hospital bedroom, and could have his own things in it, and go there at any time. Also that I would be able to see him anytime instead of only hospital visiting hours, and so on. Talking sooothingly, saying don't worry, I shall be there to help you settle in and you will like that.
He turned and looked at me and said "What if I don't like it?" That caught me off guard but I found some reply, can't remember now, and then slid off the subject.
During the 25 minutes or so when the CH nurse was talking to the nursing staff he repeatedly asked " Will she come back again? What will she say?" Also "I like it here".
For once I took some comfort in his living-in-the-moment short-term memory, hoping he would soon forget it. I think he did, I spent some time with him after the CH nurse left and he did not talk about it again.
I expect the phone shall ring tomorrow.
Love
Loo xxx
I