Henry ill, I am concerned....
- Thread starter Loopiloo
- Start date
I understand the `too many cooks` situation Loo. You do what you think will be best for you and Henry.
I had to go with Dhiren because we went from home. I was accompanied by two from the Mental Health Team [MHT] just in case Dhiren became difficult with me. I was grateful, but there were too many people, me, the two from the MHT, the manager to welcome him and other carers to be introduced. It was crazy.
I think if Dhiren was going into a home straight from hospital, I`d leave it to the professionals and visit once the fuss has died down.
Good luck anyway Loo.
I had to go with Dhiren because we went from home. I was accompanied by two from the Mental Health Team [MHT] just in case Dhiren became difficult with me. I was grateful, but there were too many people, me, the two from the MHT, the manager to welcome him and other carers to be introduced. It was crazy.
I think if Dhiren was going into a home straight from hospital, I`d leave it to the professionals and visit once the fuss has died down.
Good luck anyway Loo.
Thanks Izzy, yes here's hoping for Monday, at least he wont be so bad as he was when transferred twice between hospitals when he was in a dreadful state of anguish, could not understand why he was not coming home.
Got some sleep last night, but painful. Don't feel quite so unwell this morning. But tired!
Hoping to catch up with you and others over the weekend.
Love
Loo xx
Got some sleep last night, but painful. Don't feel quite so unwell this morning. But tired!
Hoping to catch up with you and others over the weekend.
Love
Loo xx
Thank you for the good luck wishes, Sylvia. I do feel nervous, tense for Henry, his bewilderment, anxiety.
The care home is only minutes from the hospital so he will be there before he has time to think about what is going on - will have forgotten what they tell him. By the time I arrive he will have had or be having a cup of tea and whatever which will calm and distract him. I hope....
After 20 weeks in the present hospital he will miss the familiar faces and routine.
But it must have been much harder for you and Dhiren, leaving from your home. You must have been in bits when you left Dhiren then returned home. At least Henry and I have been spared that with six months of him being in hospitals.
Thanks.
Love
Loo xxx
That sounded a lot of new people, strangers to Dhiren. This was my worry for Henry, new faces around, new surroundings, and I felt best to let them get on with it as they are used to new arrivals feeling confused and lost.
This is what I was thinking, you have made me feel more reassured. Henry's last move I was phoned after I had visited him, about 5pm. They said he was dressed, packed, waiting for transport. I waited till after 9pm to phone the hospital re his arrival, and he had only just arrived. It was a longer journey too.
The care home is only minutes from the hospital so he will be there before he has time to think about what is going on - will have forgotten what they tell him. By the time I arrive he will have had or be having a cup of tea and whatever which will calm and distract him. I hope....
After 20 weeks in the present hospital he will miss the familiar faces and routine.
But it must have been much harder for you and Dhiren, leaving from your home. You must have been in bits when you left Dhiren then returned home. At least Henry and I have been spared that with six months of him being in hospitals.
Thanks.
Love
Loo xxx
Hello Loo , 
you did not sleep well , tho you feel less poorly hope you have a better Day feeling slightly better
Agree with you r e Henry moving short distcance from Hostipal to the C Home , it will help him to be less & will be HOPEFULLY
kinder as Henry will not have time to be upset etc
Good that you are able to make his Room look nice before his arrival , that must give you some comfort Loo
Love & Prayers Loo for you both on Monday
Love Grove x x x
you did not sleep well , tho you feel less poorly hope you have a better Day feeling slightly better Agree with you r e Henry moving short distcance from Hostipal to the C Home , it will help him to be less
& will be HOPEFULLYkinder as Henry will not have time to be upset etc
Good that you are able to make his Room look nice
before his arrival , that must give you some comfort Loo Love & Prayers Loo for you both on Monday
Love Grove x x x
Thanks Jo and Grove. I'm not feeling too good again today, worrying me a bit now. It is possibly the winding down from all the worrying tension of this week kicking in. I did get into quite a state about the news that there was a vacancy for Henry at the care home, then the pre-assessment, and then the shock of whether or not the care home would accept Henry, the silent waiting for their decision.
I should be catching up with much neglected housework today but don't feel like it, so tired. Must also be more strict with myself about my bedtime.
After my visit to the care home yesterday, takng just a few things down, I left with a good feeling. I like the layout of the first floor unit Henry will be in, but I have never liked where the home is situated. It is on a main road, and faces a large garage although there are a lot of large trees behind it. So that is the view from the front bedrooms, and the car park is beneath them. The back bedrooms tend to be dark as they look straight into trees. No views.
However, I was very pleased indeed to see Henry's bedroom is a front one, has a large window (some are very small) and a comfy looking high back armchair to the side of it. Sitting there, he wont really see the car park below, and looking straight across over the main road and garage, there is a good view of our local hills. Each of the five units in the home is named after one of the hills.
My daughter didn't understand why I thought a view important for Henry, but our home is situated at the foot of this range of hills (which is about 12 miles in length), super view, and those hills have played a big part in Henry's life as for years he hill walked. They stretch back for ten miles into another county, and he spent many happy hours up there.
In the hospital his first sign of coming out the awful anguish and despair was him beginning to take an interest in the view from the hospital sitting room large high window, looking across a small garden to our hills beyond. Since then that has been his main focus and interest. I am delighted that he will still be able to gaze out at his beloved hills.
The only possible problem is his MEGA-phobia about noises, even tiny everyday noises. He picked up on anything at home (and in hospital) and would go on and on and on about it. There is a constant flow of traffic on this main road, but it isn't loud noise, a low sort of traffic hum, if you follow.
Sounds like making a big fuss about a little thing, but I'm hoping he does not focus in on it. I may have to take him ear plugs! At home he drove me crazy repeatedly constantly jumping, startled, saying "What's that? What's that?" over and over again. Little noises I never noticed. Here's hoping.
Other than that the bedroom is fine. There is a large square area and his is one of two rooms off it, separate from others mostly off a very wide corridor from the square area(hall), the corridor leading along to the sitting-room/dining area, it is open plan. I think it will be easier for him to find his own room, rather than wandering along a row of bedroom doors getting confused about which one is his room. The hall and corridor are spacious and he does like to wander about with his zimmer - or without it.
Yesterday I saw him use the zimmer - after I managed to persuade him, grumbling, to use it when he said he needed to go to the toilet. First time for both since he was ill, I thought he had stopped knowing when he needed the toilet, and he was off the zimmer a long time because he was falling. Great relief to see he is back to what he previously was, although that is just a shuffle. Without the zimmer he staggers, sways back and forward like reeds in the wind. Has had several falls.
I met the Head Nurse who did the pre-assessment, she introduced me to several of the staff, and some of the residents. There were three men in the sitting-room, or lounge as called in the home, and another in the quiet area off the hall. One lady was very chatty, very with it, asked if Henry talked, I said yes but he was a quiet man. (apparently the other men do not chat) She said she had been in the home about a year. Head Nurse said five years.
Henry was remarkably talkative yesterday when I visited him, amazingly more like his normal dementia self. I talked about the care home, referring to it by its name, and he did respond. He does not want to be moved, likes where he is. Then said "If I do go to B.P. I wont be there forever." Quite often saying "You want me to..." and "You are going to leave me there...", blaming me for various things. Upsetting. All I could think of to say was that he had health problems which needed nursing care ("I am fine, nothing wrong with me") and that it was not what I want, the decisions were made by the doctors. He then had a moan about "bloody doctors".
Having left the home with a good feeling, I was calm and relaxed with Henry which made it easier to handle the difficult moments. There were a few.
Then I left the hospital feeling relief that at long last we are almost at the end of over 6 months of hopitals, over 4 months in the present one.
On the way home, some shopping, and I bought a large frame, hoping to copy then print a photo for it, but not sure I'll succeed. With my prevous printer I did, but this one has been hit and miss with photos often too dark or blurred. I do 'Fix' them but they do not always print as they look on my laptop.
It is a wedding photo of our daughter and her husband with us and our son-in-law's parents, and Henry always stopped to look at it when going to the kitchen. Apart from perhaps recalling a very happy day (2 years ago), he has now forgotten who our son-in-law is, and although he remembers our daughter he forgets her name. Not to mention often thinking I am his mother, and not recognising himself as he now is! In his mind we are both much younger.
This is all a new experience, I am very anxious and nervous about Monday's move, about our future, although I know everyone with a loved one in care has gone through this, or are going through it. Sailing into unchartered waters.... hopefully calm waters for Henry. For me, well I'm not thinking beyond Monday - not too much anyway. One step at a time, or so I try to tell myself. So many of you have been there before me, you will know the confusion of emotons. As will those at this particular stage, just about to happen.
Thinking of you, Saffie, and I will catch up very soon with you, my apologies for the delay.
Sorry for blethering on too much again. Somehow it does help to write it down, to clarify it in the mind. To know you are all there, understanding, eases the feeling of isolation, some of the fears, which you cannot really talk about to anyone else.
My thanks and my appreciation of all of you who take the time and patience to read my posts and to reply. I cannot imagine how I would have been had the last six months happened before I found TP.
Oh dear, how we shall miss TP next Tuesday when it will be unavailable due to an essential software upgrade.....
Love
Loo xxx
I should be catching up with much neglected housework today but don't feel like it, so tired. Must also be more strict with myself about my bedtime.
After my visit to the care home yesterday, takng just a few things down, I left with a good feeling. I like the layout of the first floor unit Henry will be in, but I have never liked where the home is situated. It is on a main road, and faces a large garage although there are a lot of large trees behind it. So that is the view from the front bedrooms, and the car park is beneath them. The back bedrooms tend to be dark as they look straight into trees. No views.
However, I was very pleased indeed to see Henry's bedroom is a front one, has a large window (some are very small) and a comfy looking high back armchair to the side of it. Sitting there, he wont really see the car park below, and looking straight across over the main road and garage, there is a good view of our local hills. Each of the five units in the home is named after one of the hills.
My daughter didn't understand why I thought a view important for Henry, but our home is situated at the foot of this range of hills (which is about 12 miles in length), super view, and those hills have played a big part in Henry's life as for years he hill walked. They stretch back for ten miles into another county, and he spent many happy hours up there.
In the hospital his first sign of coming out the awful anguish and despair was him beginning to take an interest in the view from the hospital sitting room large high window, looking across a small garden to our hills beyond. Since then that has been his main focus and interest. I am delighted that he will still be able to gaze out at his beloved hills.
The only possible problem is his MEGA-phobia about noises, even tiny everyday noises. He picked up on anything at home (and in hospital) and would go on and on and on about it. There is a constant flow of traffic on this main road, but it isn't loud noise, a low sort of traffic hum, if you follow.
Sounds like making a big fuss about a little thing, but I'm hoping he does not focus in on it. I may have to take him ear plugs!
At home he drove me crazy repeatedly constantly jumping, startled, saying "What's that? What's that?" over and over again. Little noises I never noticed. Here's hoping.Other than that the bedroom is fine. There is a large square area and his is one of two rooms off it, separate from others mostly off a very wide corridor from the square area(hall), the corridor leading along to the sitting-room/dining area, it is open plan. I think it will be easier for him to find his own room, rather than wandering along a row of bedroom doors getting confused about which one is his room. The hall and corridor are spacious and he does like to wander about with his zimmer - or without it.
Yesterday I saw him use the zimmer - after I managed to persuade him, grumbling, to use it when he said he needed to go to the toilet. First time for both since he was ill, I thought he had stopped knowing when he needed the toilet, and he was off the zimmer a long time because he was falling. Great relief to see he is back to what he previously was, although that is just a shuffle. Without the zimmer he staggers, sways back and forward like reeds in the wind. Has had several falls.
I met the Head Nurse who did the pre-assessment, she introduced me to several of the staff, and some of the residents. There were three men in the sitting-room, or lounge as called in the home, and another in the quiet area off the hall. One lady was very chatty, very with it, asked if Henry talked, I said yes but he was a quiet man. (apparently the other men do not chat) She said she had been in the home about a year. Head Nurse said five years.
Henry was remarkably talkative yesterday when I visited him, amazingly more like his normal dementia self. I talked about the care home, referring to it by its name, and he did respond. He does not want to be moved, likes where he is. Then said "If I do go to B.P. I wont be there forever." Quite often saying "You want me to..." and "You are going to leave me there...", blaming me for various things. Upsetting. All I could think of to say was that he had health problems which needed nursing care ("I am fine, nothing wrong with me") and that it was not what I want, the decisions were made by the doctors. He then had a moan about "bloody doctors".
Having left the home with a good feeling, I was calm and relaxed with Henry which made it easier to handle the difficult moments. There were a few.
Then I left the hospital feeling relief that at long last we are almost at the end of over 6 months of hopitals, over 4 months in the present one.
On the way home, some shopping, and I bought a large frame, hoping to copy then print a photo for it, but not sure I'll succeed. With my prevous printer I did, but this one has been hit and miss with photos often too dark or blurred. I do 'Fix' them but they do not always print as they look on my laptop.
It is a wedding photo of our daughter and her husband with us and our son-in-law's parents, and Henry always stopped to look at it when going to the kitchen. Apart from perhaps recalling a very happy day (2 years ago), he has now forgotten who our son-in-law is, and although he remembers our daughter he forgets her name. Not to mention often thinking I am his mother, and not recognising himself as he now is! In his mind we are both much younger.
This is all a new experience, I am very anxious and nervous about Monday's move, about our future, although I know everyone with a loved one in care has gone through this, or are going through it. Sailing into unchartered waters.... hopefully calm waters for Henry. For me, well I'm not thinking beyond Monday - not too much anyway. One step at a time, or so I try to tell myself. So many of you have been there before me, you will know the confusion of emotons. As will those at this particular stage, just about to happen.
Thinking of you, Saffie, and I will catch up very soon with you, my apologies for the delay.
Sorry for blethering on too much again. Somehow it does help to write it down, to clarify it in the mind. To know you are all there, understanding, eases the feeling of isolation, some of the fears, which you cannot really talk about to anyone else.
My thanks and my appreciation of all of you who take the time and patience to read my posts and to reply. I cannot imagine how I would have been had the last six months happened before I found TP.
Oh dear, how we shall miss TP next Tuesday when it will be unavailable due to an essential software upgrade.....
Love
Loo xxx
Last edited:
Saffie
Dear Saffie
Wondering how your week was concerning the nursing home situation. I'll go back to your thread to check.
Henry's present hospital did not appear to have his medical notes from the two previous hospitals either. I was surprised by that and thought they would automatically receive copies. Talk about the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. This could be why the junior doctor at the present hospital had no knowledge of the problem Henry's diabetes had been since first being admitted to the surgical hospital, and then the other hospital. He was implying that Henry had unstable diabetes when admitted to the first hospital, which was not the case as it was stable and well controlled at home.
In your case it is a great pity if this has affected the CHC application. I thought everything was now on computer and any hospital/doctor could access a person's medical records/notes. For instance if someone took ill while away from home and landed in hospital in a different part of the UK. But I don't have enough knowledge about this.
I do know that when our younger daughter who lives miles from us saw a medical consultant last year he had information about her medical history going right back to when she was in our area General Hospital when she was 4 years old.
None of which is much help to you. But I share your frustration about Dave's present hospital not having his medical notes from your General Hospital.
Love
Loo xx
Dear Saffie
Wondering how your week was concerning the nursing home situation. I'll go back to your thread to check.
I was a bit diappointed when talking to our GP the other night and she said she does not go to the care home Henry is in. Apparently the GPs at our medical practice each attend different local care homes. Although Henry will see one of the GPs from our own medical practice where his medical records are. Disppointed as our GP is the one who has known him the longest and is most familiar with not only him but his medical history. She also has an understanding of dementia as her late father-in-law had it.
Henry's present hospital did not appear to have his medical notes from the two previous hospitals either. I was surprised by that and thought they would automatically receive copies. Talk about the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing. This could be why the junior doctor at the present hospital had no knowledge of the problem Henry's diabetes had been since first being admitted to the surgical hospital, and then the other hospital. He was implying that Henry had unstable diabetes when admitted to the first hospital, which was not the case as it was stable and well controlled at home.
In your case it is a great pity if this has affected the CHC application. I thought everything was now on computer and any hospital/doctor could access a person's medical records/notes. For instance if someone took ill while away from home and landed in hospital in a different part of the UK. But I don't have enough knowledge about this.
I do know that when our younger daughter who lives miles from us saw a medical consultant last year he had information about her medical history going right back to when she was in our area General Hospital when she was 4 years old.
None of which is much help to you. But I share your frustration about Dave's present hospital not having his medical notes from your General Hospital.
Love
Loo xx
Dear Loo
Your description of Henry's home is so lovely and vivid.I do hope he settles in there well. Yes, it may take a little time but the staff seem to be nice and friendly.I'm sure you will be relieved not to have to visit the hospital. Every time I go I think"It will be so nice not to have to do this every day."I know I will be still visiting but it won't be quite so rigid in time.
The home where Dave is top of the list is not where I would choose it to be either - near a town, but it has a pleasant garden and it is quite leafy around it at present, though, of course that will be different come the Autumn. However, I doubt that Dave will care and it is the inside which matters more I think - though personally I would love a view of hill like Henry will have.Trouble is, the home that I saw that was in a really delightful spot in the New Forest, was absolutely ghastly inside.
As long as Dave can see the trees and garden, I think he will be ok - it is so hard to find even some of the things we think are important, never mind everthing.
As the sister wasn't there on Thursday and I haven't heard from the SW - I think we are both keeping a low profile! - I don't really know what is happening regarding Dave's delayed discharge.
He's been asleep for most of the time when I've visited this week, and in a lot of pain. He moans and winces all the time. I mentioned it to the nurse on duty yesterday as after he woke up as he said it was his foot which hurt, where the gangrene and infection was and is still bandaged. Though, as he gets his words so muddled, he could mean elsewhere. Anyway, I've heard nothing today, I'll have to wait for the one nurse who will tell me what's going on.
Will catch up again and, in the meantime, rest up. love X
Your description of Henry's home is so lovely and vivid.I do hope he settles in there well. Yes, it may take a little time but the staff seem to be nice and friendly.I'm sure you will be relieved not to have to visit the hospital. Every time I go I think"It will be so nice not to have to do this every day."I know I will be still visiting but it won't be quite so rigid in time.
The home where Dave is top of the list is not where I would choose it to be either - near a town, but it has a pleasant garden and it is quite leafy around it at present, though, of course that will be different come the Autumn. However, I doubt that Dave will care and it is the inside which matters more I think - though personally I would love a view of hill like Henry will have.Trouble is, the home that I saw that was in a really delightful spot in the New Forest, was absolutely ghastly inside.
As long as Dave can see the trees and garden, I think he will be ok - it is so hard to find even some of the things we think are important, never mind everthing.
As the sister wasn't there on Thursday and I haven't heard from the SW - I think we are both keeping a low profile! - I don't really know what is happening regarding Dave's delayed discharge.
He's been asleep for most of the time when I've visited this week, and in a lot of pain. He moans and winces all the time. I mentioned it to the nurse on duty yesterday as after he woke up as he said it was his foot which hurt, where the gangrene and infection was and is still bandaged. Though, as he gets his words so muddled, he could mean elsewhere. Anyway, I've heard nothing today, I'll have to wait for the one nurse who will tell me what's going on.
Will catch up again and, in the meantime, rest up. love X
Dear Loo,
Hope you are feeling a little better. It's in the winding down we often become ill, it seems we live on our adrenalin during our most stressful times and when it subsides we feel lousy. An on going problem for carers I fear.
Good news you like his room and the view. I'm with you on that one, Nats' room over looks the garden, which was important for him.
When Nats was at home 'noise' was a mega issue, I seemed to hush our grandaughter a thousand times a day. He was terrified of any sound and if people were loud (known to him or not) he would rant at them. It seemed he held his hands over his ears most of the day. But for some reason, beyond our knowledge when he went into the care home, as if by magic this stopped. Believe me the place is bedlam and I often leave with a headache. May this mini miracle happen for Henry too.
Glad to hear about the toilet and zimmer, fabulous feats in themselves. The care home sounds a good one, and although the proof is in the pudding, here's hoping your initial instincts are proven right.
Going over old ground here, but I do recommend you take one day at a time and don't expect too much, to soon, from yourself, from Henry or from the staff.
In those early days I could have hi-jacked Nats and brought him home. It took a lot of self persuasion to keep him there, even though I knew full well I could no longer cope with him at home. Emotions and rational thoughts don't always see eye to eye.
It is a pleasure to support you, we all support each other in posting and replying to posts.
My thoughts will be with you.
Much love and mega understanding Bastan. xx
ps......go to bed!!!!!!!!!!! x
Hope you are feeling a little better. It's in the winding down we often become ill, it seems we live on our adrenalin during our most stressful times and when it subsides we feel lousy. An on going problem for carers I fear.
Good news you like his room and the view. I'm with you on that one, Nats' room over looks the garden, which was important for him.
When Nats was at home 'noise' was a mega issue, I seemed to hush our grandaughter a thousand times a day. He was terrified of any sound and if people were loud (known to him or not) he would rant at them. It seemed he held his hands over his ears most of the day. But for some reason, beyond our knowledge when he went into the care home, as if by magic this stopped. Believe me the place is bedlam and I often leave with a headache. May this mini miracle happen for Henry too.
Glad to hear about the toilet and zimmer, fabulous feats in themselves. The care home sounds a good one, and although the proof is in the pudding, here's hoping your initial instincts are proven right.
Going over old ground here, but I do recommend you take one day at a time and don't expect too much, to soon, from yourself, from Henry or from the staff.
In those early days I could have hi-jacked Nats and brought him home. It took a lot of self persuasion to keep him there, even though I knew full well I could no longer cope with him at home. Emotions and rational thoughts don't always see eye to eye.
It is a pleasure to support you, we all support each other in posting and replying to posts.
My thoughts will be with you.
Much love and mega understanding Bastan. xx
ps......go to bed!!!!!!!!!!! x
Dear Loo,
Your description of the care home sounds good, and I am so glad that Henry will have a sight of his beloved hills. Things like that do become important, don't they. Brian, too, has fabulous views across the harbour and distant hills both from his bedroom and from the lounge. When he drifts off to sleep I just sit beside him and take time to enjoy it.
I am not surprised you are feeling pretty exhausted. You have had a traumatic six months and suddenly a lot of the pressure has been removed. I agree with Bastan - the adrenalin has kept you going up to now. You must now try to unwind a bit, take things easy, tell yourself "To hell with the housework". (I have made it my mantra.))
Take tomorrow OFF. I will be thinking of both you and Henry on Monday and send you both love and good wishes for the move.
Love, Nan XXX
Your description of the care home sounds good, and I am so glad that Henry will have a sight of his beloved hills. Things like that do become important, don't they. Brian, too, has fabulous views across the harbour and distant hills both from his bedroom and from the lounge. When he drifts off to sleep I just sit beside him and take time to enjoy it.
I am not surprised you are feeling pretty exhausted. You have had a traumatic six months and suddenly a lot of the pressure has been removed. I agree with Bastan - the adrenalin has kept you going up to now. You must now try to unwind a bit, take things easy, tell yourself "To hell with the housework". (I have made it my mantra.
))Take tomorrow OFF. I will be thinking of both you and Henry on Monday and send you both love and good wishes for the move.
Love, Nan XXX
Dear Saffie
Yes I shall be much relieved not to visit the hospital, and as you say visiting a care home will be less rigid which I have tried to explain to Henry.
I had little choice of a local care home, only two available for Henry's needs, but visiting others further afield was a big help, giving me something to compare with. I hope my feeling that this one has good nursing care is proved correct.
What a pity the home you liked in the New Forest was absolutely ghastly inside. I visited one like that, the memory of it still makes me shudder. It was dark, bleak, run down and shabby. An overall neglected feel about it. None of the care homes I have visited are 'posh', more comfy homely and I liked that about this one plus spaciousness and a relaxed atmosphere. I know it wont always be like that, when they are short staffed as they were last weekend, when a crisis arises.
Yes it is hard to find some of the things we think are important, and the main thing is the care. This home has only a tiny patio off a downstairs unit and a tiny garden at the other side, but I don't think that will be of importance to Henry. He had given up wanting to sit in the garden, wanted to be in the house all the time. Having a view I knew was important. Mind you that could change, as things do with dementia.
You sound in limbo concerning your situation. Dave's 'Delayed Discharge'. In a sense it takes some of the pressure off you for a wee while, I don't like the sound of that Sister.
Very sorry that Dave is in so much pain, poor man, which must be worrying and upsetting for you, especially when you are not being well informed. I have hated that in all three hospitals. I am told I will be informed of everything in the care home, that will make a huge difference. I hope you soon meet with the one nurse who will tell you what is going on.
Thoughts and love
Loo xx
Yes I shall be much relieved not to visit the hospital, and as you say visiting a care home will be less rigid which I have tried to explain to Henry.
I had little choice of a local care home, only two available for Henry's needs, but visiting others further afield was a big help, giving me something to compare with. I hope my feeling that this one has good nursing care is proved correct.
What a pity the home you liked in the New Forest was absolutely ghastly inside. I visited one like that, the memory of it still makes me shudder. It was dark, bleak, run down and shabby. An overall neglected feel about it. None of the care homes I have visited are 'posh', more comfy homely and I liked that about this one plus spaciousness and a relaxed atmosphere. I know it wont always be like that, when they are short staffed as they were last weekend, when a crisis arises.
Yes it is hard to find some of the things we think are important, and the main thing is the care. This home has only a tiny patio off a downstairs unit and a tiny garden at the other side, but I don't think that will be of importance to Henry. He had given up wanting to sit in the garden, wanted to be in the house all the time. Having a view I knew was important. Mind you that could change, as things do with dementia.
You sound in limbo concerning your situation. Dave's 'Delayed Discharge'. In a sense it takes some of the pressure off you for a wee while, I don't like the sound of that Sister.
Very sorry that Dave is in so much pain, poor man, which must be worrying and upsetting for you, especially when you are not being well informed. I have hated that in all three hospitals. I am told I will be informed of everything in the care home, that will make a huge difference. I hope you soon meet with the one nurse who will tell you what is going on.
Thoughts and love
Loo xx
Still not feeling too good, Bastan, and I have broken my promise to myself by not going to bed at a civilized time. But I will tonight.
Thanks for your thoughts, understanding and support, so helpful. I am getting very tense about tomorrow. About what lies ahead. I take on board your advice not to expect too much too soon. Just hope I feel a bit better than the last few days, I have that "I can't cope" panic lurking.
How very true that emotions and rational thoughts don't aways see eye to eye. I wanted to bring Henry home a few weeks ago when he was so ill and I was not happy about the lack of information. My daughter was horrified when I mentioned it. I knew I would have been unable to cope, even if I had been "allowed" to remove him, but it was how my heart felt.
Interested in what you wrote about noise being a mega issue with Nats. Sounded very similar to Henry. It would be great if it disappeared in the home as it did for Nats.
Love and understanding to you too.
Loo xx
But I will tonight.Thanks for your thoughts, understanding and support, so helpful. I am getting very tense about tomorrow. About what lies ahead. I take on board your advice not to expect too much too soon. Just hope I feel a bit better than the last few days, I have that "I can't cope" panic lurking.
How very true that emotions and rational thoughts don't aways see eye to eye. I wanted to bring Henry home a few weeks ago when he was so ill and I was not happy about the lack of information. My daughter was horrified when I mentioned it. I knew I would have been unable to cope, even if I had been "allowed" to remove him, but it was how my heart felt.
Interested in what you wrote about noise being a mega issue with Nats. Sounded very similar to Henry. It would be great if it disappeared in the home as it did for Nats.
Love and understanding to you too.
Loo xx
Dear Nan
The views from Brian's windows do sound fabuous, I can imagine them. Just hoping Henry's much loved hlls do catch and hold his attention. Not the traffic hum or the car park beneath the window!
Gosh I really am dreading tomorrow.... I hate when I feel like this. Just so concerned about Henry, how he will be. The Head Nurse he met and whom I met again at the home on Friday is off duty tomorrow, which is a pity. A familiar face would haee been comforting.
Thanks for your kind words, good wishes and thoughts for tomorrow.
With my love
Loo xx
The views from Brian's windows do sound fabuous, I can imagine them. Just hoping Henry's much loved hlls do catch and hold his attention. Not the traffic hum or the car park beneath the window!
Gosh I really am dreading tomorrow.... I hate when I feel like this. Just so concerned about Henry, how he will be. The Head Nurse he met and whom I met again at the home on Friday is off duty tomorrow, which is a pity. A familiar face would haee been comforting.
Thanks for your kind words, good wishes and thoughts for tomorrow.
With my love
Loo xx
Dear Loo
Just to let you know I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that the move goes well for you both.
Try to have an early night as it will be a very emotional day for you tomorrow. Much love and empathy M XXX
Just to let you know I will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping that the move goes well for you both.
Try to have an early night as it will be a very emotional day for you tomorrow. Much love and empathy M XXX
Thanks Saffie, yes it will be an emotional day. I'm mentally counting down to it. Shall try to be good tonight and be in bed earlier than usual, although my early is probably your late!
Thinking of you and the coming week, hoping it wont be a stressful one with you and that Sister....
Shared love and empathy
Loo xx
Thinking of you and the coming week, hoping it wont be a stressful one with you and that Sister....
Shared love and empathy
Loo xx
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