Had to re post this as I feel so desperate for feedback - sorry
Hi just got in from seeing Mum who is a bit brighter looking but I now have another heartbreaking dilemma.
The doctor recently said Mum is likely to live for days or possibly a couple of weeks the way she was going on. The carer said Mum had capacity to make choices and they would not force her to eat or drink.
Just before we left visiting today, a nurse came along and asked if they could put Mum's meds, anti depressant and liquid paracetamol into yogurts and soups etc. I said well she is refusing to eat so perhaps not a good idea and suggested patches may help instead. The nurse told me she had fed Mum some soup at lunchtime and porridge for breakfast.
Anyway then what upset me was how she crushed tablets into the liquid paracetamol and then knelt down in front of Mum and insisted she take each of the 3 desert spoons. I was quite appalled! Poor Mum did not want it and was looking so distressed! If I had not been there to give Mum sips of water in between I don't think she would have been able to wash the taste away!!!!!
My issues are they will be making her food (which she will not be able to refuse from this particular nurse) taste absolutely horrible. I suggested patches for her meds instead which I heard about on here. Mum isn't fit or strong enough to fight against this like she must want to and I am now so choked. The nurse herself is huge and although is probably being cruel to be kind it just seems so wrong.
Mum is sipping water voluntarily which is an improvement so must surely become more hydrated.
Another question I need to ask is why if they want to feed her now even if she refuses, why didn't they do it before she became emaciated??? Poor Mum complains of feeling sick! I now have visions of her being forced to swallow foul tasting yoghurts by this nurse.
When she moved away, I spoke to her and asked if she knew what the gp had predicted - the nurse said gps can get it wrong and Mum could go on for years.
My husband and I had a difference of opinion on the way home, he said it is for Mum's own good and she could well get better. To me this is the wrong way to do it.
I am going to call the gp and ring the home tomorrow to state I want gp advice and not to do anything until then. I will really appreciate your thoughts,advice and opinions.
Thank you in advance